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YOUNG   MAN 


GUIDE  TO  KNOWLEDGE, 


QK'u'tiiJg  AS3©  M^PPOMIS©©, 


"  Ad  actire  life  is  Tirtae'»  proper  sphere  ; 
To  do  and  suffer  is  oar  daty  here  ; 
Foes  to  encoumer,  vices  to  disdiio, 
FoUies  to  shun,  and  pasaious  to  restrain." 


Hotoell: 

NATHANIEL    L. DAYTON 
1845. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Cougresa,  iu  the  year  1314, 

By  N.L.DAYTON, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  Massachusetts. 


Munroe  &  Francis,  Printers, 
Boston, 


PREFACE 


This  little  book  has  been  prepared  to 
supply  a  deficiency,  which  has  been 
sensibly  experienced,  of  a  -u-ork  adapted 
to  the  wants  and  position  of  the  young 
men  of  our  community,  which  could  be 
presented  in  a  less  expensive,  and  con- 
sequently more  generally  attainable  form, 
than  any  of  its  class  that  have  heretofore 
appeared  before  the  public.  In  the  pre- 
paration of  this  volume,  we  have  care- 
fully availed  ourselves  of  the  best  sug- 
gestions on  secular  and  moral  subjects 
of  some  of  its  excellent  predecessors,  and 
have  scrupulously  excluded  whatever  is 
inconsistent  with  the  most  refined  moral 
taste.  T\''e  cherish  the  hope  that  it  may 
be  the  humble  instrument  of  unfolding 
to  some  the  beauties  of  the  consistent 


2052917 


IV  PREFACE < 

mora^  character — of  awakening  in  others 
aspirations  after  higher  and  purer  attain- 
ments— and  of  encouraging  all  who  read 
its  pages  in  the  formation  of  that  charac- 
ter which  "  hath  the  promise  of  the  life 
that  now  is,  and  of  that  which  is  to 
come." 


COXTEKTS 


Claima  on  Young  51en 7 

Dangers  of  Young  Men 18 

Choice  of  a  Profession 31 

Acquisition  of  Propertv 38 

Luck  and  Chance 44 

Stabilitj  of  Purpose 50 

Caution  in  Commencing  Business    ....  55 

Regular  Hours 58 

Temperance 78 

Diligence  and  Pancto&lity 66 

Faithfulness       .     .    T 76 

Perseverance 78 

Economy — with  Illaetrations 84 

Choice  of  Associates 93 

Female  Society 99 

Amusements 107 

Conversation  on  Dancing 109 

Genuine  Politeness 117 

Singularity 120 

Farther  Hints  oo  Manner* 133 


VI  CONTENTS. 

Conversation 134 

Egotism 140 

Further  Hints  on  Conversation 145 

Marriage  Desirable 155 

Coquetry 163 

Qualities  Important  in  a  Wife 171 

Hints  to  Young  Husbands 181 

Elements  of  Genius 186 

A  Broad  Mind 192 

Attainment  of  Knowledge 194 

Reading 195 

How  to  Acquire  a  Library 207 

English  Grammar 214 

Influence  of  Religion 218 

A  Dream 221 


YOUNG  MAN 


CLAIMS  ON  YOUNG  MEN. 

The  claims  of  society  upon  young  men 
are  of  the  most  weighty  and  serious 
character.  They  grow  out  of  those 
indissoluble  relations  which  you  sustain 
to  society ;  and  those  valuable  interests, 
social,  civil,  and  religious,  which  have 
come  down  to  us,  a  most  precious  in- 
heritance, from  our  fathers,  and  which, 
with  all  the  duties  and  responsibilities 
connected  with  them,  are  soon  to  be 
transferred  to  your  hands  and  to  your 
keeping.  I  look  forward  a  few  short 
years,  and  see  the  aspect  of  society  en- 
tirely chcinged.     The  venerable  fathers 


8  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

who  have  borne  the  burden  and  heat  of 
the  day  are  dropping  one  after  another 
into  the  grave,  and  soon  they  will  all 
be  gone.  Of  those  too,  who  are  now 
the  acting  members  of  society,  some 
have  passed  the  meridian  of  life,  others 
are  passing  it,  and  all  will  soon  be  go- 
ing down  its  decline,  to  mingle  with 
the  generations  who  have  disappeared 
before  them,  from  this  transient  scene 
of  action.  To  a  mind  seriously  con- 
templating this  mournful  fact,  it  is  an 
inquiry  of  deep  and  tender  interest  ; — • 
Who  are  to  rise  up  and  fill  their  pla- 
ces ?  To  whom  are  to  be  committed 
the  invaluable  interests  of  this  commu- 
nity ?  Who  are  to  sustain  its  respon- 
sibilities and  discharge  its  duties  ? 
You  anticipate  the  answer.  It  is  to 
you,  young  men,  that  these  interests 
are  to  be  committed,  and  these  respon- 
sibilities transferred.  You  are  fast  ad- 
vancing to  fill  the  places  of  those,  who 
are  fast  retiring  to  give  place  to  a  new 
generation.     You  are  soon  to  occupy 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  9 

the  houses  and  own  the  property  and 
fill  the  offices  and  possess  the  power 
and  direct  the  influence  that  are  now 
in  other  hands.  The  various  depart- 
ments of  business  and  trust,  the  pulpit 
and  the  bar,  our  courts  of  justice  and 
halls  of  legislation  ;  our  civil,  religious 
and  literary  institutions,  all,  in  short, 
that  constitutes  society,  and  goes  to 
make  life  useful  and  happy,  are  to  be 
in  your  hands,  and  under  your  con- 
trol. 

This  representation  is  not  made  to 
excite  your  vanity,  but  to  impress  you 
with  a  due  sense  of  your  obligations. 
You  cannot  take  a  rational  view  of  the 
stations  to  which  you  are  advancing, 
or  of  the  duties  that  are  coming  upon 
you,  without  feeling  deeply  your  need 
of  high  and  peculiar  qualifications.  In 
committing  to  you  her  interests  and 
privileges,  society  imposes  upon  you 
corresponding  claims  ;  and  demands 
that  you  be  prepared  to  fill,  with  honor 

B 


10  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

and  usefulness,  the  places  which  you 
are  destined  to  occupy.  She  looks  to 
you  for  future  protection  and  support, 
and  while  she  opens  her  arms  to  wel- 
come you  to  her  high  immunities  and 
hopes,  she  requires  of  you  the  cultiva- 
tion of  those  virtues,  and  the  attain- 
ment of  those  qualifications,  which  can 
alone  prepare  you  for  the  duties  and 
scenes  of  future  life. 

Such  being  then  the  claims  of  socie- 
ty, let  us  inquire, — How  you  may  be 
prepared  to  meet  them  ? 

And,  first  of  all,  it  is  demanded  that 
you  awake  to  a  serious  consideration 
of  the  duties  and  prospects  before  you. 
I  mention  this  first,  because,  if  a  young 
man  cannot  be  persuaded  to  consider 
what  he  is,  and  what  he  is  to  become 
in  future  life,  nothing  worthy  or  good 
can  be  expected  of  him.  And,  unhap- 
pily, this  is  the  character  of  too  many 
young  men.  They  cannot  be  made  to 
think.  They  seem  resolved  to  live 
only  for  the  present  moment,  and  for 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  11 

present  gratification.  Of  these  gay 
and  thoughtless  triflers,  society  has 
nothing  to  expect  ;  they  may  have 
their  little  day  of  sunshine  and  pleasure ; 
then  they  will  vanish  and  be  forgotten, 
as  if  they  had  never  been. 

But  our  Creator  has  formed  you  for 
society,  for  duty,  and  for  happiness  ; 
and  has  so  connected  you  with  the  liv- 
ing beings  around  you,  that  they  as 
w^ell  as  yourselves,  are  to  leel  the  good 
or  ill  effects  of  your  conduct  long  after 
you  shall  have  gone  to  render  up  your 
account.  How  imperious  to  beings  in 
this  state  is  the  duty  of  consideration  ! 
How  wise,  how  all-important  to  inquire, 
— What  am  I,  and  what  is  my  desti- 
nation in  this  and  the  future  world  ? 
For  what  end  was  I  created,  and  for 
what  purpose  placed  here  in  the  midst 
of  beings  like  myself?  What  are  the 
duties  which  I  owe  to  them  ?  How 
can  1  be  prepared  to  perform  those  du- 
ties, and  how  accomplish  the  great  end 
for  which  my  Creator  gave  me   exist- 


12  THE    YOUNG   MAN. 

ence,  and  placed  me  in  this  world  of 
probation  and  trial  ?  The  man  who 
thinks  lightly  of  such  inquiries,  or  who 
never  brings  them  home  to  his  own 
bosom,  as  matters  of  direct,  personal 
concern,  violates  every  principle  of  rea- 
son and  common  prudence.  They  are 
indeed  grave  inquiries  ;  and  light  tri- 
fling minds  may  reject  them  because 
they  are  so.  But  they  are  suggested 
by  the  reality  of  things  ;  and  never, 
without  a  due  consideration  of  them, 
can  you  be  qualified  for  the  duties  of 
life,  or  sustain  the  responsibilities  so 
soon  to  come  upon  you  as  members  of 
society. 

Another  requisite  for  meeting  the 
claims  of  society  is  intelligence^  or  a 
careful  cultivation  of  your  minds.  In 
despotic  governments,  where  the  sub- 
ject is  a  mere  vassal,  and  has  no  part 
either  in  making  or  executing  the  laws, 
ignorance  is,  no  doubt,  an  essential 
qualification  of  a  good  citizen.  The 
less  he  knows  of  liis  rights,  the  more 


THE    YOUNG   MAN.  13 

contented  he  is  to  be  deprived  of  them  ; 
and  the  less  he  understands  of  duty,  the 
more  pliable  he  is  as  a  mere  instru- 
ment of  ambition  and  power.  Not  so 
in  this  country.  Here  every  man  is  a 
public  man.  He  is  a  freeman,  and  this 
ought  always  to  mean  the  same  thing 
as  an  intelligent  man.  He  possesses 
the  right  of  suffrage  ;  and  is  often  cal- 
led to  aid  in  the  election  of  rulers  ;  to 
deliberate  and  act  respecting  the  public 
welfare  ;  to  fill  offices  of  influence  and 
trust  ;  and  to  perform  innumerable  du- 
ties in  the  course  of  life,  which  can  be 
well  performed  only  in  the  possession 
of  an  intelligent  and  well-furnished 
mind.  And  certainly,  whatever  be  a 
man's  circumstances,  he  cannot  but  be 
a  happier  and  more  useful  man  by  pos- 
sessing such  a  mind. 

And  another  thing  demanded  of  you 
by  society  is  an  upright  and  virtuous 
character. 

No  man  can  hope  to  rise  in  society 
or  act  worthily  his  part  in  life,  without 


14  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

a  fair,  moral  character.  The  basis  of 
such  a  character  is  virtuous  principle  ; 
or  a  deep,  fixed  sense  of  moral  obliga- 
tion, sustained  and  invigorated  by  the 
fear  and  the  love  of  God.  The  man 
who  possesses  such  a  character  can  be 
trusted.  Integrity,  truth,  benevolence, 
justice,  are  not  with  him  words  without 
meaning  ;  he  knows  and  feels  their  sa- 
cred import,  and  aims,  in  the  whole 
tenure  of  his  life,  to  exemplify  the  vir- 
tues they  express.  Such  a  man  has 
decision  of  character  ;  he  knows  what 
is  right,  and  is  firm  in  doing  it.  Such 
a  man  has  independence  of  character  ; 
he  thinks  and  acts  for  himself^  and  is 
not  to  be  made  a  tool  to  serve  the  pur- 
poses of  party.  Such  a  man  has  con- 
sistency of  character  ;  he  pursues  a 
straightforward  course,  and  what  he  is 
to-day,  you  are  sure  of  finding  him  to- 
morrow. Such  a  man  has  true  worth 
of  character  ;  and  his  hfe  is  a  blessing 
to  himself,  to  his  family,  to  society,  and 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  15 

to  the  world.  Aim  then,  my  young 
friends,  to  attain  this  character. 

Every  man  should  come  forward  in 
life  with  a  determination  to  do  all  the 
good  he  can,  and  to  leave  the  world 
the  better  for  his  having  lived  in  it.  He 
should  consider  that  he  was  not  made 
for  himself  alone  ;  but  for  society,  for 
mankind,  and  for  God.  He  should 
feel  that  he  is  a  constituent,  responsible 
member  of  the  great  family  of  man  : 
and,  while  he  should  pay  particular  at- 
tention to  the  wants  of  those  with  whom 
he  is  inmiediately  connected,  he  should 
accustom  himself  to  send  his  thoughts 
abroad,  over  the  wide  field  of  practical 
benevolence,  and  early  learn  to  feel 
and  act  for  the  good  of  his  species. 

Also,  be  persuaded  that  the  qualifi- 
cations demanded  are  entirely  within 
your  power. 

And,Avhile  you  thus  aim  to  fulfil  the 
duties  which  you  owe  to  society,  you 
take  the  most  effectual  measures  to  pro- 
mote your  own  respectability  and  hap- 


16  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

piness.  The  young  man  of  thought- 
lessness, gayety,  and  fashion,  may 
shine  for  a  httle  moment ;  and,  during 
that  moment,  he  may  be  the  admiration, 
and  perhaps  envy,  of  persons  as  vain 
and  thoughtless  as  himself  But  he 
soon  passes  the  season  of  gayety  and 
mirth — and  what  is  he  then  ?  A 
worthless,  neglected  cypher  in  society. 
His  present  course  of  life  has  no  refer- 
ence to  the  scenes  and  duties  of  riper 
years.  His  youth  is  entirely  discon- 
nected from  his  manhood.  It  is  a  por- 
tion of  his  existence  which  he  throws 
away;  and  perhaps  worse  than  throws 
away,  because  he  contracts  habits 
which  unfit  him  for  sober  life,  and 
cleave  to  him  as  an  enfeebling,  disgust- 
ing disease,  all  his  days. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  young  man 
who  seriously  considers  the  nature  and 
design  of  his  being ;  who  shuns  the  so- 
ciety and  flees  the  amusements  of  the 
thoughtless  and  vicious;  who  devotes 
his  vacant  hours  to  the  improvement 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  17 

of  his  mind  and  heart,  and  aims  at  the 
aquisition  of  those  habits  and  virtues 
which  may  quality  him  for  the  duties 
of  life. — such  a  young  man  cannot  fail 
to  rise  in  respectability,  in  influence 
and  honor.  There  is  no  waste  in  his 
existence  -,  no  contraction  of  bad  habits 
to  obscure  the  meridian,  or  darken  the 
decline  of  life.  The  course  upon  which 
he  enters,  like  the  path  of  the  just, 
shines  brighter  and  brighter  unto  the 
perfect  day.  This  motive  you  cannot 
duly  consider  without  teeling  its  con- 
straining influence.  You  are  all  in  the 
pursuit  of  happiness;  you  all  desire  the 
esteem  and  respect  of  your  fellow  men. 
Here  is  the  way  and  the  only  way  to 
attain  it.  An  enlightened  mind,  a  vir- 
tuous character,  a  usefid  life, — these 
are  the  dignity  and  glory  of  man. 
They  make  him  lovely  in  the  sight  of 
angels  and  God,  and  secure  to  him 
present  peace  and  everlasting  happi- 
ness. 


18  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


DANGERS  OF  YOUNG  MEN. 

Every  period  of  life  has  its  peculiar 
temptations  and  dangers.  But  were 
I  to  specify  the  period,  which,  of  all 
others,  is  attended  with  the  greatest 
peril  and  most  needs  to  be  watched  and 
guarded,  I  would  fix  upon  that  which 
elapses  from  fourteen  to  twenty-five 
years  of  age.  This  pre-eminently  is 
the  forming,  fixing  period,  the  spring 
season  of  disposition  and  habit  ;  and  it 
is  during  this  season,  more  than  any 
other,  that  the  character  assumes  its 
permanent  shape  and  color,  and  the 
young  man  is  wont  to  take  his  course 
for  time  and  eternity. 

But,  not  to  confine  my  remarks  to 
this  particular  age,  it  will  not  be  doubted 
that  the  time  during  which  we  usual- 
ly denominate  one  a  young  man  is 
the  most  important  and  perilous  period 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  19 

of  his  whole  existence.  Then  the  pas- 
sions, budding  and  hastening  to  ripe- 
ness, become  impatient  of  restraint,  and 
eager  for  gratification.  Then  the  im- 
agination, unchecked  by  experience, 
paints  the  world  in  false  and  fascina- 
ting colors,  and  teaches  the  young  bo- 
som to  sigh  after  its  forbidden  pleasures. 
Then  springs  up  in  the  mind  the  rest- 
less desire  of  independence  and  self- 
control  ;  a  disposition  to  throw  off  the 
restraints  of  parental  council  and  authori- 
ty, and  to  think  and  act  for  itself  Then 
the  social  impulse  is  felt,  and  the  young 
man  looks  around  for  companions  and 
friends  ;  then  the  calling  for  life  is  cho- 
sen, the  principles  of  action  adopted, 
habits  acquired,  and  those  connections 
in  business  and  society  formed,  which 
usually  decide  the  character,  and  fix 
the  condition,  both  for  this  and  the  fu- 
ture world. 

The  path  to  respectability,  to  useful- 
ness and  happiness,  is  open  before  you  ; 
so  also  is   the   path    to    infamy   and 


20  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

wretchedness.  And  now  the  choice  is 
to  be  made  ;  you  are  now  to  enter  up- 
on that  path  which  in  all  probabiUty 
you  will  pursue  through  life,  and  which 
will  terminate  in  heaven  or  helL  Such 
are  the  dangers  that  encompass  you, 
and  so  little  are  persons,  at  your  age, 
aware  of  them,  that  there  is  great  reason 
to  fear  that  you  will  mistake  the  road  to 
happiness,  and  wander  into  one  of  the 
ten  thousand  ways  that  lead  to  ruin. 

Young  men  are,  in  general,  but  little 
aware  of  the  danger  which  attends  the 
beginnings  of  evil.  They  readily 
perceive  the  degrading  and  destructive 
tendency  of  the  grosser  vices  ;  but 
they  are  slow  to  believe,  that  there  are 
certain  dispositions  and  habits  which  in- 
evitably lead  to  those  vices  and  their  con- 
sequent degradation  and  ruin.  Hence, 
while  they  shun  the  more  open  and  fla- 
grant offences,  they  are  not  afraid  to 
venture  upon  what  are  deemed  little 
sins, — upon  slight  deviations  from  du- 
ty,— occasional  indulgence  of  the  ap- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  21 

petites  and  passions.  No  mistake  is 
more  common  or  more  fatal  than  this. 
It  is  the  standing  cause  ot'  ruin  to  the 
characters  and  the  souls  of  men. 
All  vicious  habits  commence  in  vrhat 
are  considered  little  sins. 

But  this  is  a  general  view  of  the 
subject  ;  we  wilf  briefly  notice  a  fevv* 
of  the  temptations  by  which  young 
men  are  liable  to  be  beset. 

Gambling  is  a  temptation  to  which 
young  men  are  exposed.  This  prac- 
tice is  unjust.  It  is  unjust  to  take 
the  property  of  another,  without  re- 
turning a  proper  equivalent  therefor 
— it  amounts  to  robbery  ;  this  the 
gamester  does.  Gambling  is  unlawlul. 
Laws  were  passed  against  it  as  early 
as  the  reign  of  Q,ueen  xAnne  of  Eng- 
land. And.trom  that  period  to  the  pre- 
sent, in  all  well-regulated  communities, 
this  practice  has  been  forbidden  by 
law.  It  is  an  unprofitable  occupation. 
"  It  is  certain,"  says  Locke,  "  that  ga- 
ming leaves  no  satisfaction  behind  it  to 


22  THE    YOUNG   MAN. 

those  who  reflect  when  it  is  over  ;  and 
it  in  no  way  profits  either  body  or 
mind." 

Gambling  is  opposed  to  industry. 
Those  who  occasionally  win  sums  of 
money  by  the  turn  of  a  card,  or  the 
throw  of  a  die,  soon  acquire  a  distaste 
for  the  slower  routine  of  acquiring 
property  by  an  industrious  occupation. 
It  begets  in  them  a  feverish  desire  to 
become  wealthy  in  a  moment,  which 
spurns  a  more  tardy,  yet  surer  process. 

Gambling  is  ruinous  in  all  its  ten- 
dencies and  consequences.  It  is  ruin- 
ous to  character.  A  gamester  is  des- 
pised by  the  virtuous  and  enlightened, 
and  suspected  even  by  his  associates. 
It  is  ruinous  to  morals.  Its  tendencies 
are  to  blant  the  sensibilities  as  to  those 
nice  distinctions  of  right  and  wrong,  so 
necessary  to  preserve  purity  of  morals. 
The  gamester  soon  loses  all  regard  to 
truth,  honesty  and  candor,  and  is  com- 
pelled to  resort  to  falsehood  and  decep- 
tion to  obtain  his  object.     This  prac- 


THE    YOUNG   MAN.  23 

tice  is  the  fruitful  source  of  every  con- 
ceivable vice  and  crime.  Its  natural 
fruit  is  theft,  robbery,  murder,  suicide, 
forgery,  perjury,  intemperance,  and  ev- 
ery species  of  licentiousness  and  sin. 
Gambling  is  ruinous  to  property.  How 
many  are  reduced  by  it  from  affluence 
to  poverty  ;  how  many  throw  away  in 
a  single  night  the  earnings  of  years  of 
industry  !  The  gamester  can  make 
no  safe  calculations  as  to  property.  He 
may  possess  a  fortune  this  year,  and 
the  next  be  clothed  in  the  beggar's 
rags.  The  chances  that  the  latter  will 
be  his  condition  are  vastly  the  most  nu- 
merous. Where  one  gamester  dies  in 
in  affluence,  a  thousand  end  their  days 
poverty. 

Intemperance  is  another  temptation 
which  assails  young  men.  The  fatal 
effects  of  this  vice  are  written  out  in  pic- 
tures horridly  true  and  vivid  in  every 
town  and  hamlet  throughout  our 
country.  Broken  fortunes,  blasted  an- 
ticipations,    ruined    health,    disgrace, 


24  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

hunger,  want  and  suffering,  are  the 
proUfic  fruits  of  this  wretched  habit. 
Young  men,  have  you  any  desire  to 
be  involved  in  these  miserable  circum- 
stances ?  do  you  desire  degradation 
and  want  1  I  anticipate  your  reply. 
You  start  back  with  horror,  and  cry, 
'  No  !  God  forbid  !'  And  how  do  you 
expect  to  avoid  them  ?  By  following 
in  precisely  the  same  path  that  involv- 
ed others  in  their  toils  ? — by  imitating 
that  sot  who  in  5^outh  drank  whenever 
occasion  offered  ?  Your  good  sense 
will  dictate  the  danger  of  such  a 
course.  There  is  one  infallible  rule, 
and  but  one — by  following  Avhich  ev- 
ery young  man  may  be  certain  of  a- 
voiding  intemperance,  and  the  long 
catalogue  of  evils  that  invariably  fol- 
low in  its  train — and  that  is,  to  abstain 
entirely  from  all  drinks  as  a  beverage, 
that  possess  power  to  intoxicate,  in  all 
places  and  under  every  circumstance. 
This  is  your  only  safeguard.  Ob- 
serve this  rule,  and   you   are  entirely 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  25 

beyond  the  reach  of  the  monster  intem- 
perance. But,  break  over  this  rule, 
however  slightly,  and  you  are  exposed 
to  great  danger. 

Avoid,  ako,  as  far  as  possible,  the 
haunts  of  mtemperance,  and  the  com- 
pany of  habitual  drinkers  of  intoxica- 
ting hquor,  lest  you  become  ensnared 
by  their  evil  examples.  You  should 
give  no  countenance  to  the  custom  of 
partaking  of  intoxicating  drinks  even 
moderately  ;  but  should  bring  both 
your  example  and  influence  to  bear  a- 
gainst  a  practice  so  fiaught  with  evil. 

Dishonesty  is  another  temptation 
that  besets  the  pathway  of  young  men. 
The  desire  for  wealth  becomes  in 
many  so  absorbing  and  uncontrolled, 
that  they  violate  all  justice,  hon- 
esty and  virtue,  to  gratify  it.  In  your 
business  transactions  many  temptations 
will  beset  you  to  defraud  your  neigh- 
bor of  that  which  is  honestly  his. 
These  temptations  you  must  summon 
c 


26  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

all  your  energies  to  withstand.  Adopt 
it  as  your  motto  through  life  to  "  ren- 
der unto  all  their  just  dues."  There 
never  Avas  a  maxim  more  true  than 
that  "  honesty  is  the  best  policy."  Dis- 
honesty, however  much  it  may  in- 
crease your  wealth,  will  make  you 
poorer  in  character,  poorer  in  peace, 
and  in  every  real  essential  to  human 
enjoyment.  True  happiness  consists 
in  a  peaceful  and  contented  mind  ;  and 
he  who  possesses  these  requisites  in  the 
highest  degree  is  indeed  the  wealthiest 
man  !  Can  ill-gotten  riches  bestow 
this  enjoyment  ?  As  well  may  you 
take  coals  of  fire  to  your  bosom  and 
not  be  burned.  Be  careful  to  have  all 
your  dealings  characterized  by  strict 
honesty  and  integrity,  and  your  satis- 
faction and  "  peace  shall  be  as  a 
river." 

Another  temptation  is  described  in 
the  fifth  chapter  of  Proverbs.  Let  ev- 
ery young  man  read  that  chapter.  Its 
declarations  are  words  of  truth  and  so- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  27 

berness.  Let  them  be  believed  and 
adhered  to,  and  never  permitted  to  es- 
cape from  your  memory.  So  shall  you 
be  saved  from  deep  degradation  and 
W'Oe. 

Theatres  are  a  source  of  amusement 
to  which  many  young  men  habitually 
resort.  That  theatres  might  be  made 
instructive  —  that  they  might  be  made 
schools  of  morality  and  virtue  —  is  un- 
doubtedly true.  But  that  they  are 
such,  all  know  to  be  false.  As  they 
are  now  managed,  they  are  the  foun- 
tain, the  very  hot-bed  of  immorality. 
Every  vicious  habit,  and  every  sinful 
propensity,  there  finds  a  stimulant. 
Lewd  songs,  lewd  dances,  gestures  and 
expressions,  are  constantly  brought  to 
the  attention  of  the  audience.  And  it 
must  be,  that  theatre-going  people  are 
fond  of  these  indelicate  exhibitions,  or 
actors,  whose  interest  it  is  to  cater  for 
the  public  taste,  would  not  dare  to  in- 
dulge in  them.  Were  these  immorali- 
ties to  be  indignantly  frowned  down,  by 


28  THE   YOUNG    MAN. 

the  audience,  upon  every  repre?enta-^ 
tion,  they  would  soon  be  banished  from 
the  stage.  But,  as  long  as  they  are 
received  with  evident  marks  of  appro- 
bation, these  streams  of  pollution  will 
still  continue  to  send  their  contamina- 
tions into  the  hearts  of  thousands. 

No  young  man  can  be  in  the  habit  of 
attending  theatres  without  extreme  lia- 
bility to  become  corrupted  in  every 
principle.  Dr.  Griscom,  of  New  York, 
in  a  report  made  a  few  years  ago,  on 
the  causes  of  vice  and  crime  in  that 
city,  says  :  "  Among  the  causes  of  vi- 
cious excitement  in  our  city,  none  ap- 
pear to  be  so  powerfiil  in  their  na- 
ture, as  theatrical  amusements."  They 
are  among  the  most  dangerous  places 
to  which  young  men  can  resort  for 
amusement;  and  the  safest  course  is 
to  abstain  from  them  entirely.  The 
love  for  this  amusement,  like  that  for 
alcohol,  grows  imperceptibly,  until  the 
heedless  youth  becomes  its  slave  and 
its  victim.    And  therefore,  as  in  regard 


THE    YODNG   MAN.  29 

to  intoxicating  drinks,  the  only  point  of 
security,  respecting  the  influence  of 
theatres,  is  total  abstinence  ! 

We  have  mentioned  a  few  of  the 
many  temptations  which  beset  young 
men.  Guard  against  them  as  deadly 
foes  to  your  happiness.  Remember 
that  the  vices  assault  the  young  in 
gangs.  Admit  one  vice,  and  it  will 
exert  all  its  influence  to  make  way  for 
another  and  another, — increasing  in 
strength  as  they  multiply  in  numbers, 
until  you  fall  a  prey  to  every  species 
of  iniquity : — 

'  The  first  crime  passed,  compels  us  into  more, 
And  guilt  grows /ate  that  was  but  choice  before.' 


30  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


CHOICE  OF  A  PROFESSION. 

The  choice  of  a  pursuit  in  life,  one  of 
the  most  important  practical  questions 
upon  which  a  young  person  is  ever  cal- 
led to  decide,  is  often  determined  by 
the  most  trifling  circumstances.  One 
youth  becomes  a  soldier,  because  his 
grandfather  was  at  the  taking  of  Cape 
Breton,  or  his  great  uncle  signalized 
himself  in  Braddock's  fight  ;  another 
studies  medicine,  and  hopes  to  be  an  al- 
most infallible  doctor,  because  he  is 
the  seventh  son  of  a  seventh  son  ;  while 
another  chooses  the  profession  of  law 
for  no  better  reason  than  that  his  spon- 
sors at  the  baptismal  font  chose  to  call 
him  William  Wirt,  or  Daniel  Webster. 
Surely  this  is  not  that  practical  wisdom 
which  adapts  the  fittest  means  to  the 
noblest  ends.  The  choice  of  a  profes- 
sion is  aX  least  worthy  of  such  a  consid- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  31 

eration  as  common  sense  would  dictate 
in  any  other  case,  where  success  in  an 
enterprise  depends  upon  fitness  for  un- 
dertaking ii.  Men  do  rot  expect  to 
gather  grapes  from  thorns,  nor  figs 
from  thistles,  yet  they  expect  their  sons 
and  daughters  to  succeed  in  pursuits 
for  which  they  are  wholly  incapacita- 
ted by  talents,  disposition,  or  education, 
and,  what  is  more  unreasonable,  they 
expect  them  to  be  happy  in  situations 
which  are  totally  uncongenial  to  their 
nature. 

One  reason  why  parents  and  guar- 
dians fall  so  frequently  into  errors  on 
this  point  is  the  vain  imagination  that 
there  is  a  great  and  essential  difference 
in  the  respectability  of  those  pursuits 
which  are  generally  admitted  to  be 
honest.  The  respectability  of  a  profes- 
sion, I  suppose  it  will  be  admitted,  must 
depend  in  a  great  measure  on  the 
respectable  character  of  its  members, 
taken  collectively  or  with  reference  to 
its   most   brilliant    examples.      If  we 


32  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

adopt  this  method,  it  will  be  found  no 
easy  matter  to  establish  a  claim  to  su- 
perior respectability  in  favor  of  any  one 
trade  or  profession,  or  of  any  class  of 
trades  or  professions. 

If  it  should  be  asserted  that  the 
learned  professions  are  more  respecta- 
ble than  the  pursuits  of  commerce, 
mechanics,  or  agriculture,  it  might  ea- 
sily be  shown  that,  taken  collectively, 
the  members  of  these  latter  professions 
or  trades  possess  more  wealth,  ease  and 
independence,  than  those  of  the  learned 
ones  ;  and  moreover,  that,  among 
them,  as  brilliant  examples  of  mental 
pre-eminence,  patriotism  and  public  spi- 
rit may  be  pointed  out,  as  among  those 
of  the  more  learned  professions. 

In  fact,  in  a  countiy  like  ours,  such  a 
claim  of  superior  respectability  on  be- 
half of  any  profession  is  preposterous, 
and  yet  it  is  constantly  assigned  by 
ambitious  parents  as  a  reason  for  deter- 
minating their  children's  pursuits  in 
life.     There  is  a  very  general  impres- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  33 

sion  that  a  merchant,  a  clergyman,  doc- 
tor or  lawyer  stands  higher  and  should 
stand  higher,  in  the  social  scale,  than  a 
mechanic  or  farmer.  But  such  is  not 
the  fact  as  a  general  principle  ;  or, 
which  results  in  the  same  thing,  if,  in  a 
particular  instance,  a  particular  mer- 
chant, for  example,  stands  higher  in 
social  estimation,  than  a  particular  me- 
chanic, it  is  not  on  account  of  the  res- 
pective means  by  which  they  earn  their 
livelihood,  but  because  the  merchant 
in  this  instance  has  claims  by  wealth, 
family  influence  or  education,  which 
the  mechanic  has  not  ;  and,  by  passing 
into  the  next  street,  and  taking  anoth- 
er example,  you  will  find  the  tables 
completely  turned,  and  the  mechanic 
in  the  enjoyment  of  a  social  position  to 
which  the  merchant  cannot  aspire. 
This  fact  is  sufficient  to  prove  that  a 
man  of  one  trade  or  profession  does  not 
take  a  lower  position  in  society  than 
another  of  a  ditierent  profession,  simply 
on  account  of  the  different  modes  by 


34  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

whicli  they  subsist,  but  by  reason  of 
other  circumstances,  wholly  indepen- 
dent of  this  consideration.  Mr.A,  who 
is  a  merchant,  does  not  for  example 
decline  an  intimate  acquaintance  with 
Mr.  B,  because  Mr.  B  is  a  mechanic, 
but  because  their  favorite  topics  of  con- 
versation, their  tastes  and  pursuits  are 
different  ;  and  this  is  apparent  from 
another  fact,  that,  whenever  such  per- 
sons happen  to  meet,  frequently  upon 
some  common  ground  of  science  or 
moral  reform,  in  their  leisure  hours, 
they  immediately  recognise  each  oth- 
er's natural  equality  and  become  fa- 
miliar companions. 

If,  in  every  part  of  the  United  States, 
the  stupid  prejudice  which  would  ex- 
clude the  mechanic  or  the  farmer  from 
any  society  to  which  his  intelligence  and 
good  manners  entitle  him,  is  not  thor- 
oughly exploded,  the  time  has  certain- 
ly arrived  when  it  is  no  longer  to  be 
avowed  by  w^ell-bred  people.  In  fact 
the  rule  which  would  exclude  a  man 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  35 


the  simple  ground  of  his  being  a  me- 
chanic, would  have  excluded  from  the 
same  room  such  men  as  Nathaniel 
Bowditch,  who  was  a  mariner  by  trade  ; 
Roger  Sherman,  who  was  a  shoema- 
ker by  trade  ;  Benjamin  Franklin,  late 
ambassador  to  the  court  of  Versailles, 
who  was  a  printer  by  trade  ;  and 
George  Washington,  a  very  respecta- 
ble man  of  the  last  century,  who  was  a 
surveyor  by  trade. 

But  the  imaginary  respectability 
which  a  man  may  happen  to  enjoy 
from  his  position  in  society,  is  not  by 
any  means  the  first  and  most  important 
thing  to  be  considered  in  the  choice  of 
a  profession.  It  should  not  be  the  lead- 
ing motive  in  determining  the  choice 
of  the  parent  ;  neither  should  it  be  the 
main  consideration  in  the  mind  of  the 
young  person  himself  There  is  anoth- 
er, and  a  much  more  important  point, 
which  claims  and  should  receive  the 
precedence.     Every  parent,  in  making 


3b  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

choice  of  a  profession  for  a  son, 
and  every  son,  in  making  the  same 
choice  for  himself,  should  seriously 
and  deliberately  inquire,  what  profes- 
sion affords  the  best  chance  for  happi- 
ness ; — happiness,  in  the  noblest  and 
broadest  sense — happiness,  which  con- 
sists in  contentment,  independence,  and 
real  usefulness — happiness,  which  be- 
gins in  the  conscientious  and  success- 
ful discharge  of  duty  on  earth,  and 
reaches  forward  to  the  unerring  retri- 
bution of  a  future  world. 


ACQUISITION  OF  PROPERTY. 

There  are  many  who  speak  of  riches, 
and  their  uses,  in  a  way  injurious  to 
the  truth.  Indeed,  very  few  are  able 
to  enforce  their  doctrine  by  their  prac- 
tice, who  speak  of  riches  as  of  that 
which  is  not  really  valuable.     For  all 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  37 

who  live  need  the  things  of  this  life, 
which  cannot  be  obtained  without  prop- 
erty or  its  equivalent. 

The  desire  to  possess  more  property 
than  is  sufficient  for  our  present  main- 
tenance, is  almost  universal.  It  may 
be  said  to  be  a  law  of  our  nature.  And 
it  is  so  for  very  wise  and  benevolent 
purposes.  From  this  common  desire, 
may  it  not  be  presumed  that  it  is  a  du- 
ty to  be  rich  ?  One  thing  is  certain  ; 
no  man  can  be  obedient  to  God's  will, 
as  revealed  in  the  Bible,  without,  as 
the  general  result,  becoming  wealthy. 
It  is  the  duty  of  ail  men  to  be  dili- 
gent. The  command,  "  Six  days 
shaltthou  labor,"  is  as  positive,  as  "On 
the  seventli  thou  shalt  do  no  work." 
Neither  is  optional.  Both  are  imper- 
ative. We  must  work,  we  must  rest. 
Paul  says,  •'  If  any  would  not  work, 
neither  should  he  eat  ;"  and  Timothy, 
'•  If  any  provide  not  for  his  own,  and, 
especially  for  his  own  house,  (or  kin- 


38  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

dred,)  he  hath  denied  the  faith,  and  is 
worse  than  an  infidel." 

Wastefulness  is  a  sin.  The  prodi- 
gal wasted  his  estate.  This  was  a 
part  of  his  sin  against  heaven.  He 
that  is  slothful  in  his  work,  is  brother 
to  "  him  that  is  a  great  waster."  Of 
the  wicked  it  is  said,  "  wasting  and  de- 
struction are  in  their  paths." 

Prudence  is  a  duty.  "  He,  that  is 
surety  for  a  stranger,  shall  smart  for 
it  ;  and  he  that  hateth  suretyship  is 
sure."  "  A  good  man  showeth  favor, 
and  lendeth  ;  he  will  guide  his  affairs 
with  discretion." 

Now  if  men  attend  to  these  duties, 
and  they  cannot  neglect  them  without 
^sin,  they  will,  as  the  general  result,  be- 
come rich.  God  has  said  so.  "  He 
becometh  poor  that  dealeth  with  a 
slack  hand  ;  but  the  hand  of  the  dili- 
gent maketh  rich."  "  The  hand  of 
the  diligent  shall  bear  rule,  but  the 
slothful  shall  be  under  tribute."  "  The 
soul  of  the  diligent  shall  be  made  fat." 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  39 

God  has  promised  riches  as  rewards. 
"  Blessed  is  the  man  that  fears  the 
Lord,  that  greatly  delighteth  in  his 
commands  ; — riches  and  wealth  shall 
be  in  his  house."  "'Abraham  was  made 
very  rich  in  cattle,  and  silver,  and 
gold."  God  gave  wealth  to  Solomon 
as  a  reward.  He  also  blessed  Job.  after 
his  severe  afflictions,  Avith  astonishing 
■wealth.  Now  would  God  have  given 
these  rules,  and  required  obedience  to 
them  ;  would  he  have  made  these 
promises  and  fulfilled  them,  if  it  were  a 
sin  to  be  rich  1  If  then  it  is  not  a  sin, 
if  riches  are  blessings,  it  is  not  wrong 
to  desire,  to  acquire,  nor  to  enjoy  them. 
It  is  not  affirmed  that  this  desire  may 
not  be  carried  to  a  sinful  length.  It 
often  is.  But  in  itself,  it  is  certainly  a 
duty.  IN'or  is  it  said  that  providential 
circumstances  may  not  make  men  poor ; 
and  that  all  poor  men  are  disobedient 
to  God.  But.  in  general,  poverty  is  a 
sin,  and  it  always  is  so,  when  it  results 
from  idleness,  wastefulness,  want  of  dis- 


40  THE    yOUXG    MAN. 

cretlon,  and  of  prudence  in  the  manage- 
ment, of  our  affairs. 

We  are  not  required,  as  a  general 
rule,  to  give  away  ail  that  we  have  to 
benevolent  institutions.  There  are  du- 
ties of  a  social,  domestic,  and  private 
nature,  which  require  tire  possession  of 
pecuniary  means,  in  order  that  they 
may  be  performed.  It  is  the  duty  of 
all  men  to  provide  for  their  families,  so 
as  to  leave  them  independent.  "  If  any 
provide  not  for  his  own,  and  especially 
for  those  of  his  own  house,  (or  kindred) 
he  hath  denied  the  faith,  and  is  worse 
than  an  infidel."  From  the  wdiole 
scope  of  this  passage,  it  is  evident  that 
men  cannot,  without  sin,  needlessly 
leave  their  families  dependent  on  the 
charities  of  the  world.  But  that  they 
are  bound  to  diminish  rather  than  to 
increase  the  miseries  of  society.  We 
must  provide  for  our  own  families  ; 
not  only  tor  their  present  wants,  but  for 
their  future  support.  Of  course,  we 
have  no  right  to  give  away  to  others, 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  4l 

or  for  other  objects,  that  which  is  ne- 
cessary for  the  support  of  our  fami- 
lies. When  circumstances,  overv/hich 
we  have  no  control,  make  us  poor, 
and  leave  us  and  our  families  de- 
pendent, we  must  accept,  with  thank- 
fulness, the  provision  made  for  us. 
But  it  is  not  our  duty  to  place  our- 
selves or  our  families  in  such  a  state, 
or  to  put  it  out  of  our  power  to  prevent 
our  relatives  from  being  similarly  situ- 
ated. This  is  the  general  principle. 
There  may  be  exceptions  to  it. 

It  is  evident,  from  the  loregoing  re- 
marks, that  the  gospel  does  not  justify 
voluntary  poverty,  either  from  idleness, 
a  morbid  sensibility,  or  a  mistaken 
generosity.  There  is  a  "beautiful  har- 
mony in  all  the  christian  duties.  And 
when  we  learn  and  practise  them,  not 
in  the  indulgence  of  highly  excited 
feelings,  or  of  favorite  objects,  but  in 
the  hght  of  soberness  and  of  truth,  they 
are  most  lovely  and  delightful.    There 


42  THE    YOUNG    MAST. 

is  reason  to  fear  that  injury  has  been 
done  to  the  flow  of  religious  and  of 
generous  feelings  by  the  partial  views 
which  some  have  given  on  this  subject. 
Men  have  been  urged  to  give  more  than 
their  duty  required.  When  the  excite- 
ment has  subsided,  anything  but  pleas- 
ure attends  their  efforts  to  redeem  their 
pledge.  A  re-action  takes  place,  and 
they  lose  all  confidence  in  the  belief 
that  charity  confers  happiness.  The 
truth  never  would  do  this.  But,  be 
this  as  it  may,  we  cannot  enjoy 
the  approbation  of  our  own  conscien- 
ces or  of  God,  unless  we  obey  him  in 
every  duty.  And  when,  from  any 
cause  which  we  could  prevent,  we  are 
unable  to  do  our  duty,  we  sin. 

The  general  rule  by  which  our  cha- 
rity is  to  be  regulated  is  this  :  "  Every 
man  shall  give  as  he  is  able,  according 
to  the  blessing  of  the  Lord  thy  Godj 
which  he  hath  given  thee."  "  Upon 
the  first  day  of  the  week  let  every  one 
of  you  lay  by  in  store,  as   God   hath 


THE   YOUNG    MAN.  43 

prospered  him."  There  is  no  doubt 
but  that  intelligent  obedience  to  this  rule 
would  furnish  all  that  is  required  for 
charity,  and  still  leave  enough  in  our 
hands  to  perform  every  other  duty,  and 
to  enjoy  every  lawful  pleasure. 

But  the  amount  that  a  man  has  to 
give,  and  the  objects  to  which  he 
gives,  the  amount  he  withholds  and  the 
objects  he  refuses  to  aid,  are  questions 
which  he  must  settle  with  his  conscience 
and  with  his  Judge.  God  will  deter- 
mine on  the  demerit  of  his  giving  or 
withholding.  He  has  said,  "  He  that 
soweth  sparingly,  shall  reap  also  spa- 
ringly ;  and  he  that  soweth  bountiful- 
ly shall  reap  also  bountifully.  Every 
man,  according  as  he  purposes  in  his 
heart,  so  let  him  give,  not  grudgingly, 
or  of  necessity,  for  God  loveth  a  cheer- 
ful giver." 


44  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


LUCK  AND  CHANCE. 

Our  present  design  is  to  show  that 
Fate,  Luck.  Chance,  Happy  Stars, 
Genius,  and  the  rest  of  these  creatures 
of  pagan  mythology,  take  no  part  in 
the  administration  of  God's  providence. 
The  developement  of  the  tiniest  blade 
of  grass  is  not  left  to  their  agency,  nor 
to  any  felicitous  accident,  nor  any  acci- 
dental influence.  I  wish  this  truth  to 
lie  at  the  foundation  of  all  your  actions 
and  form  the  basis  of  your  education  ; 
so  that,  in  setting  out  in  life,  you  shall 
not  feel  as  if  sitting  down  to  a  game  of 
desperate  hazards,  where  all  is  to  de- 
pend upon  the  caprice  of  a  heathenish 
fortune,  or  fate.  Let  me  conjure  you 
to  avoid  the  old  hereditary  sin  of  the 
professedly  christian  world,  and  offer  no 
incense  to  these  false  deities.  Banish 
the  whole  brood  of  these  idolatrous  con- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  45 

ceits  from  your  mind,  and  believe  that 
the  God  of  the  Bible  is  at  the  helm  of 
all  human  affairs  ;  a  God  of  order,  sys- 
tem, and  philosophy.  And  while  you 
believe  this,  never,  no,  never  ascribe 
any  success  to  luck  ;  predicate  no  ex- 
pectation upon  the  blind  decisions  of 
chance.  I  am  the  more  earnest  that 
you  should  start  with  right  impressions 
in  this  matter,  as  I  have  witnessed  so 
many  cases  where  this  solitary  error 
has  drowned  young  men  in  sleepy  in- 
dolence. I  have  known  scores  of  young 
men  lounging  about  the  streets  with 
their  hands  in  their  pockets,  waiting  for 
a  chance .,  or  ?in  opening^  as  they  gener- 
ally call  it  ;  as  if  expecting  Providence 
to  make  an  opening  through  the  win- 
dows of  heaven,  to  rain  down  upon 
them  a  shower  of  good  hick,  as  a  re- 
ward of  their  hstless  inactivity. 

Will  there  he  an  opening  for  me  7 
is  a  question  which  every  young  man 
may  naturally  be  inclined  to  ask.  And  if 
jt  is  addressed  to  the  providence  of  God, 


46  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

and  not  to  the  pagan  shrine  of  Fate,  it 
is  one  that  can  be  easily  and  satisfacto- 
rily answered.  Let  me,  then,  adduce 
a  few  data  for  the  solution  of  this  im- 
portant problem.  In  proposing  the 
question.  Will  there  be  an  opening 
for  me  ?  let  me  take  it  for  granted, 
that  you  do  not  expect  such  an  open- 
ing from  any  impulsive  humor  of  Prov- 
idence, or  any  amendment  or  repeal  of 
its  present  laws  or  provisions.  Then, 
you  would  ask,  what  provisions  there 
are  already  enacted  to  develope  the  fac- 
ulties of  your  mind,  increase  your  ca- 
pacity of  usefulness,  and  insure  a  rich 
and  unfailing  reward  to  a  virtuous  ap- 
plication and  trustful  industry  ?  If  em- 
bodied in  this  inquiry,  the  question  is 
one  that  gives  me  great  pleasure  to 
answer. 

Let  me  remind  you,  what  God  has 
done  for  every  stalk  of  wheat,  for  every 
blade  of  grass  or  corn  ;  and  then  leave 
it  to  your  own  reflection  to  decide, 
whether  he  has  done  less  for  the  devel- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN,  47 

opement  of  the  human  mind,  for  which 
all  things  seen  or  temporal  on  this 
earth  were  made. 

Just  look  over  into  a  field  of  grain  in 
summer,  and  contemplate  a  single  stalk 
of  corn  ;  and  consider  what  Providence 
has  done  for  that,  not  accidentally,  but 
specifically.  That  kernel  of  corn,  when 
it  was  first  committed  to  the  ground, 
needed  for  its  expansion,  a  thousand 
specific  influences,  not  one  of  which 
could  be  brought  to  bear  upon  it,  with- 
out the  creation  and  economy  of  the 
whole  a)lar  system.  Were  that  stalk 
of  corn  the  only  one  to  be  produced  on 
this  planet,  it  would  re^juire,  for  its  per- 
fection, all  the  physical  laws  and  ma- 
chinery of  the  system,  which  bring  in 
the  seasons  with  all  their  soft  alterna- 
tions of  temperature,  light,  and  shade. 

Now,  long  before  man  was  made,  all 
these  physical  provisions  for  the  welfare 
of  that  stalk  of  corn,  were  created.  No 
farmer  es'er  sows  or  plants  his  field  with 
any  doubt  in  his  mind  with  regard  to 


48  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

the  certainty  of  these  provisions.  But 
he  knows  that  it  might  rain  and  shine 
upon  his  land  forever,  and  all  be  in 
vain  unless  he  complied  with  the  irre- 
pealable  requisition  of  Providence,  and 
planted  and  cultured  that  stalk  of  corn. 
His  labor  is  just  as  essential  as  the  rain 
and  dew,  light  and  heat.  If  he  sees 
fit  to  labor  on  that  stalk  of  corn.  Provi- 
dence will  w^ork  with  him  in  fair  co- 
partnership ;  and  not  only  insure,  but 
proportion  his  reward  according  to  his 
labor. 

In  the  words  of  another,  "  Nothing 
is  more  deceptive  or  pernicious  than  the 
idea  which  is  entertained  by  some  that 
the  rich  obtain  their  wealth  without  ex- 
ertion ;  merely  by  "  good  luck."  There 
is  no  sure  way  of  getting  money  but 
by  industry  ;  no  way  of  keeping  it  so 
as  to  grow  rich,  but  by  economy.  The 
foundations  of  great  fortunes  are  to  be 
traced  to  small  beginnings,  small  profits, 
and  frugal  expenditures.  The  man 
who  desires  to  grow  rich  must   never 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  49 

wait  to  acquire  large  sums  before  he 
begins  to  save.  The  economy  of  small 
expenses  lays  the  corner-stone  of  wealth. 
It  is  the  small  dribbles  that  waste  the 
substance  and  keep  men  poor,  if  they 
are  not  careful  to  restrain  their  outgo- 
ings. The  philosopher's  stone  is  no 
fiction.  He  who  labors  with  industry, 
and  lives  with  economy,  will  find  it,  at 
the  bottom  of  the  crucible  of  life,  to  re- 
ward his  toil  and  compensate  him  for 
his  virtue.  It  was  a  favorite  theme  with 
Girard  that  he  commenced  life  with 
a  sixpence  ;  and  that  man's  best  cap- 
ital was  industry.  He  died  worth 
10,000,000  !" 

In  a  word,  he  that  gets  all  he  can 
honestly,  and  saves  all  he  gets,  neces- 
sary expenses  excepted,  will  certainly 
become  rich,  if  that  Being  who  governs 
the  world,  to  whom  all  should  look  for 
a  blessing  on  their  honest  endeavors, 
does  not,  in  his  wise  providence,  other- 
wise determines. 


60  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


STABILITY  OF  PURPOSE. 

How  often  do  we  discover  people  of 
the  character  generally  denominated 
"jfickle-minded."  They  are  seldom  satis- 
fied with  their  present  condition  or  em- 
ployment— preferring  almost  any  other 
situation  to  the  one  they  happen  to  oc- 
cupy, and  any  other  business  to  that  in 
which  they  are  engaged.  Their  minds 
are  usually  filled  with  some  new  and 
wonderful  project,  or  employed  in  un- 
folding some  magnificent  discovery, 
which  they  believe  will  astonish  the 
world,  and  bring  inexhaustible  wealth 
into  their  possession.  -  Such  people  are 
generally  industrious  —  not,  however, 
in  that  steady  application  to  useful  bu- 
siness which  will  in  time  yield  a  certain 
reward, — but  in  building  stupendous 
and  beautiful  castles  in  the  air,  which 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  51 

are  reared  this  hour  only  to  be  demol- 
ished the  next. 

The  minds  of  men  naturally  differ 
very  materially  in  respect  to  firmness 
and  stability  of  purpose  ;  but  a  defi- 
ciency in  these  valuable  qualifications 
need  not  be  an  irreparable  defect.  It 
can  to  a  good  degree  be  remedied  by 
proper  exertion  and  application.  When 
you  become  sensible  that  your  mind  is 
constitutionally  inclined  to  fickleness 
and  instability — (and  a  little  candid 
selt^-examination  will  enlighten  you  up- 
on this  point,)  you  should  then  call  up 
all  your  energies  to  counteract  this  ten- 
dency— and  it  should  be  your  study  to 
strengthen  these  weak  properties  of  the 
mind,  by  a  constant  and  watchful  guard 
upon  its  operations.  By  proper  exer- 
tion the  mind  can  be  trained  into  a 
good  degree  of  firmness  and  decision, 
so  that  its  promptings  may  not  be 
changed  by  every  varying  wind.  By 
obtaining  the  mastery  over  your  mental 
powers,    you  may    concentrate  them 


52  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

upon  any  given  subject  within  your 
comprehension,  and  search  out  its  foun- 
dation, its  bearings  and  influences,  and 
ascertain  the  weight  of  the  claims  it 
has  upon  your  attention. 

To  act  safely^  requires  you  to  act 
wisely,  cautiously,  and  firn)ly.  You 
should  ponder  well  all  the  measures  you 
adopt ;  never  enter  upon  any  important 
undertaking  rashly,  at  the  impulse  of 
any  fleeting  emotion,  but  be  deliberate 
and  reflective — examine  it  in  all  its 
bearings,  and  weigh  well  its  probable 
results.  Give  yourself  no  labor  in  ex- 
amining the  bright  side,  for  that  will 
usually  present  itself  in  colors  sufficient- 
ly attractive.  But  be  diligent  in  thor- 
oughly investigating  the  dark  side  of 
the  picture.  Look  with  a  scrutinizing 
eye  at  the  worst  aspect  it  can  assume 
— endeavor  to  discover  its  greatest  dis- 
advantages and  its  most  remote  liabili- 
ties to  failure.  And,  from  all  your 
means  of  information,  deliberately  form 
your  judgment  as  to  the  most  proper 


THE     YOUNG   MAN.  53 

course  to  pursue.  And  when  you  have 
once  engaged  in  any  honorable  occupa- 
tion, or  entered  into  any  proper  branch 
of  business,  let  all  instability  and  doubt 
and  fickleness  be  banished  from  the 
mind — call  into  requisition  all  your  ef- 
fective powers — be  industrious,  perse- 
vering, economical,  and  patient — let  no 
new  visionary  scheme  charm  your  at- 
tention into  another  channel  —  and 
you  will  be  on  the  high  road  that  leads 
to  prosperity.  Let  not  the  stability  of 
your  mind  be  shaken  by  disappoint- 
ment, nor  by  misfortunes.  "  Don't  be 
discouraged,  if  in  the  outset  of  life 
things  do  not  go  on  smoothly.  It  sel- 
dom happens  that  the  hopes  we  cher- 
ish of  the  future  are  realized.  The 
path  of  life  in  the  prospect  appears 
smooth  and  level  enough.  The  journey 
is  a  laborious  one,  and,  whether  poor 
or  wealthy,  high  or  low,  we  shall  find 
it  to  our  disappointment  if  we  build  up- 
on another  calculation.  To  endure 
what  is  to  be  endured  with   as  much 


54 


THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


cheerfulness  as  possible,  and  to  elbow 
our  way  through  the  great  crowd,  ho- 
ping for  little,  yet  striving  for  much,  is 
perhaps  the  true  plan.  But  don't  be 
discouraged  if  occasionally  you  slip 
down  by  the  way,  and  your  neigh- 
bors tread  over  you  a  little — in  other 
w^ords,  don't  let  a  failure  or  two  dis- 
hearten you.  Accidents  happen — mis- 
calculations will  sometimes  be  made — 
things  will  turn  out  differently  from  our 
expectations,  and  we  may  be  sufferers. 
Fortune  is  like  the  skies  in  April,  some- 
times cloudy,  and  sometimes  clear  and 
favorable  ;  and,  as  it  would  be  folly  to 
despair  of  again  seeing  the  sun,  be- 
cause to-day  it  is  stormy,  so  it  is  unwise 
to  sink  into  despondency  when  fortune 
frowns  ;  since,  in  the  common  course 
of  things,  she  may  surely  be  expected 
to  smile  again.  Don't  be  discouraged 
under  any  circumstances.  Go  steadily 
forward.  Rather  consult  your  own 
conscience  than  the  opinions  of  men, 
though  the  latter  are  not  to   be  diyre- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  55 

garded.  Be  industrious  ;  be  frugal  ; 
deal  in  perfect  kindness  with  all,  exer- 
cising an  obliging  spirit  in  your  whole 
intercourse  ;  and  if  you  do  not  prosper 
as  rapidly  as  any  of  your  neighbors,  de- 
pend upon  it,  you  will  be  as  happy. 

Thrifty  habits  in  the  poor,  and  ex- 
travagant habits  in  the  rich,  are  our 
true  levellers. 


CAUTION  IN  COMIVIENCING  BUSINESS, 

When  the  period  of  your  minority  has 
expired,  and  you  grow  ambitious  of  ap- 
pearing your  own  master,  consider  it  as 
an  affair  that  is  to  influence  your  whole 
future  life.  Many,  by  their  haste  and 
precipitation  in  this  particular,  have 
only  hastened  their  own  undoing  ;  and, 
to  get  rid  of  a  gentle  subjection,  have 
rendered  themselves  the  slaves  of  want 


56 


THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


and  wretchedness.  To  set  up  and 
miscarry  is  like  the  blast  to  the  blos- 
som ;  if  it  does  not  absolutely  kill,  it 
leaves  it  diseased.  Hold  the  rein  then 
tight  on  your  impatience,  and  examine 
the  ground  over  and  over  again  before 
you  start  for  the  prize.  It  has  been 
observed  that  few  or  none  thrive,  who 
set  up  the  moment  they  are  out  of  the 
leading-strings  as  it  were  ;  hope  has 
too  great  an  ascendency  at  that  time  of 
life,  and  the  youth  is  sanguine  enough 
to  begin  where  his  old  master  left  off. 
But  the  ship  that  sets  out  with  all  sail 
and  no  ballast,  is  sure  to  turn  bottom 
upwards. 

Would  you,  therefore,  be  persuaded 
to  tread  the  same  steps  that  have  car- 
ried many  through  life  with  credit  to 
themselves,  enter  for  a  year  or  two  into 
the  service  of  the  shrewdest  and  most 
experienced  person  of  your  profession. 
You  will  learn  more  dexterity  and  ad- 
dress in  the  procuring  and  dispatch  of 
business   during^  that  interval,  than  in 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  57 

the  whole  seven  years  you  had  served 
already.  It  will  besides  give  you  leis- 
ure to  look  round  for  a  proper  place  to 
settle  in,  where  there  is  a  vacancy  that 
you  may  hope  to  fill  with  success  ;  and 
likewise  to  select  those  dealers  who  will 
be  likely  to  serve  you  best  on  one  hand, 
and  to  court  those  customers  who  give 
the  surest  pay  and  the  largest  orders, 
on  the  other.  Or,  if  you  are  too  weary 
of  servitude  and  dependence  to  endure 
it  any  longer,  enter  into  partnership 
with  such  a  one  as  is  above  described  ; 
and  though  you  may  expect  he  will 
manage  so,  that  the  contract  shall  ra- 
ther inchne  to  his  advantage,  you  will 
be  a  gainer  upon  the  whole  ;  thencefor- 
ward his  experience,  his  address,  and 
his  sagacity,  will  be  yours  ;  and,  for  the 
sake  of  his  own  interest  and  character, 
he  will  be  equally  vigilant  of  yours. 


68  THE    YOUNG    MAN, 


REGULAR    HOURS. 

These  are  among  the  most  important 
means  of  heakh  and  long  life.  You 
may  educate  both  the  body  and  the 
mind  to  almost  any  kind  of  regular 
habits,  but  you  can  never  accommo- 
date them  to  irregularities.  They 
must  know  what  to  expect,  and  must 
not  be  disappointed.  Having  accus- 
tomed your  stomach,  for  instance,  to  re- 
ceive its  food  at  a  particular  hour,  when 
that  hour  arrives  it  will  be  prepared  to 
digest  it.  But  if  you  eat  an  hour  or 
two  sooner,  the  stomach  is  taken  by  sur- 
prise :  it  is  unprepared  for  its  task, 
and  consequently  will  do  its  work  bad- 
ly ;  as  will  be  indicated  by  headache, 
stupor,  or  some  other  morbid  symptom.s. 
The  same  is  true  in  regard  to  sleep. 
Accustom  yourself  to  retire  to  bed  at  a 
particular  time  ;    and  when  that  time 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  59 

comes,  your  eyelids  will  almost  irresis- 
tibly close.  Retire  to  rest  then,  and 
you  will  almost  immediately  fall  into 
sweet  and  refreshing  sleep  ;  but.  pass 
an  hour  or  two  over  that  time,  and  a 
morbid  wakefulness  will  ensue,  from 
which  you  will  afterwards  find  it  diffi- 
cult to  compose  yourself  to  sleep.  The 
effect  upon  )"our  health  and  spirits  will 
be  sad  the  next  day. 

The  same  principle  holds  in  securing 
the  regular  function  of  the  bowels,  so 
essential  to  health.  There  is  probably 
nothing  which  costs  so  little  attention, 
and  yet  contributes  so  much  to  the 
healthy  action  of  the  whole  system. 
To  secure  this  effectually  it  is  necessa- 
ry to  observe  the  most  punctual  and 
exact  regularity  possible.  Very  obsti- 
nate constipation  may  thus  be  over- 
come. 

To  be  out  at  nights,  beyond  the 
usual  hour  for  retiring,  to  be  irregular 
in  the  time  of  your  meals,  to  indulge 
the  bed  in  the  morning,  to  neglect  ex- 


60  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

ercise,  to  fail  of  adapting  yonr  dress 
to  the  weather,  and  to  your  circum- 
stances of  exposure — such  things  may 
seem  to  you  trifles  now  ;  you  may  not 
perceive  that  they  injure  you  ;  but  they 
are  exhausting  that  fountain,  which, 
while  full,  may  give  no  indications  of 
diminution,  but  when  nearly  gone  will 
reveal  to  you  what  I  now  tell  you. 

We  can  hardly  conceive  of  the  point 
of  energy  to  which  a  man  may  raise 
himself,  and  the  amount  of  labor  which 
he  can  accomplish,  with  not  only  safety 
but  advantage  to  his  health,  by  habits 
of  strict  regularity. 

I  do  not  mean  to  say  that  a  man  can 
never  deviate  a  little  from  his  usual 
course  without  injury  ;  it  is  sometimes 
necessary  to  do  this  ;  I  speak  of  the 
general  habit.  It  is  sometimes  well 
to  omit  a  meal,  in  order  to  let  the  or- 
gans of  digestion  rest.  Unless  you  live 
very  abstemiously,  you  will  probably 
do  well  to  fast  from  at  least  one  meal 
every  week  ;    but  when  you    do  this, 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  61 

3-0U  should  eat  nothing  until  the  time 
for  the  next  meal  arrives  ;  and  then 
do  not  double  the  quantity.  As  a 
general  rule,  it  is  not  good  to  eat  be- 
tween meals.  It  tends  to  vitiate  the 
secretions  and  disturb  the  regular  op- 
erations of  nature.  Never  take  suppers 
before  retiring. 


TEMPERANCE. 


This  practice  is  viewed  by  the  apostle 
Peter  as  a  cardinal  virtue,  and  Paul 
remarks,  "  Every  man,  that  striveth 
for  the  mastery,  is  temperate  in  all 
things."  I  shall  here  touch  only  upon 
two  particulars,  eating  and  drinking. 
In  these  no  rule  can  be  given  which 
will  accurately  apply  in  all  things  to 
every  individual.  Says  Gregory,  '"  It 
is  not  the  quantity  or  quality  of  the 
meat  and  drink,  but  the  love  of  it,  that 


62  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

is  condemned," — the  inordinate  attach- 
ment to  it.  Water  is  the  natural  and 
best  beverage  for  man.  This  is  the 
opinion  of  the  most  respectable  physi- 
cians, and  of  the  most  considerate  part 
of  the  community.  But  even  of  water 
so  much  may  be  used  as  to  be  detri- 
mental. An  unnecessary  quantity  has 
a  tendency  to  weaken  the  system  gen- 
erally, and  in  a  particular  manner  the 
digestive  organs.  Almost  all  other  li- 
quids used  as  a  beverage  are  injurious, 
in  a  greater  or  less  degree.  As  for  the 
use  of  distilled  spirits,  it  would  seem 
that  there  could  be  but  one  opinion, 
since  the  subject  has  been  so  largely 
discussed,  and  so  much  light  has  been 
thrown  upon  it  at  the  present  day.  No 
new  arguments  can  be  presented,  nor 
need  there  be,  to  induce  you  to  ad- 
vocate the  cause  of  temperance.  Rea- 
son and  revelation,  the  motives  of  three 
worlds  proclaim,  as  with  the  voice  of 
seven  thunders,  in  the  monitory  lan- 
guage, "  Touch  not ;  taste  not ;  han- 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  63 

idle  not ;" —  Total  abstinence  forever. 
"**  Temperate  drinking  is  the  down-hill 
road  to  intemperance,"  and  "  Entire 
■abstinence  from  ardent  spirits  is  the  ordy 
certain  preventive  of  intemperance." 
These  mottoes  should  be  inscribed  up- 
on the  door-posts  of  every  house,  that 
the  destroying  angel  may  pass  by. 
Like  the  phylacteries  of  the  Jews,  they 
should  be  fastened  upon  the  forehead 
of  every  man,  upon  his  wrists,  and 
upon  the  hem  of  his  garments,  that 
they  may  be  as  amulets  or  preserva- 
tives to  himself  and  others. 

The  injunction,  "  Do  thyself  no 
harm,"  may  be  applied  to  the  unlaw- 
ful indulgence  of  appetite  in  eating. 
^'Temperance,"  says  sir  William  Tem- 
ple, "  consists  in  a  regular,  simple  diet, 
regulated  by  every  man's  experience  of 
his  own  easy  digestion."  General  rules, 
in  respect  to  regimen,  may  be  advan- 
tageously prescribed,  but  there  will  be 
many  exceptions,  owing  to  constitution, 
health,  employment,  and  other  circum- 


64  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

stances.  Food  should  be  simple,  nu- 
tritious, plainly  prepared,  and  receiv- 
ed regularly  in  moderate  quantities. 
Three  meals  in  a  day,  and  one  dish  at 
a  meal,  are  considered  the  most  favor- 
able to  health.  Abstemiousness  great- 
ly prevailed  among  the  Grecians. 
Though  they  ate  at  different  times,  yet 
they  indulged  themselves  with  but  one 
full  meal  in  a  day.  Most  of  the  an- 
cient philosophers  were  patterns  of  tem- 
perance, and  lived  principally  on  vege- 
table food.  The  early  Christians,  too, 
were  remarkable  for  their  temperance 
in  eating.  Multitudes,  in  various  pe- 
riods, have  been  specially  regardful  of 
their  diet,  and  have  profited  by  it  in 
health  and  longevity.  The  subject  of 
dietetics  has  been  much  discussed  at  the 
present  day,  and  no  doubt  much  bene- 
fit has  been  derived  from  its  dis- 
cussion. 

It  has  been  noticed  that  those  who 
read  and  converse  much  on  dietetics,jare 
frequently  most  afflicted  with  dispepsy 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  65 

and  its  train  of  evils.  This  is  to  be 
accounted  tor  principally  from  the  fact 
that,  because  they  are  afflicted  with 
this  malady,  they  read  and  converse 
respecting  it ;  and  also,  in  part,  from 
the  fact,  that  because  they  thus  read 
and  converse,  they  are  thus  afflicted. 
I  am  constrained  to  believe  that  an 
anxious  solicitude  on  the  subject  has  a 
very  injurious  effect  on  the  health,  and 
therefore  this  should  not  be  indulged. 
As  a  general  rule,  spend  an  hour  a  day 
in  taking  your  meals  ;  masticate  your 
food  thoroughly,  and  receive  your  re- 
freshments with  a  cheerful  and  thank- 
ful heart.  Never  indulge  in  luxuri- 
ous living,  but  hold  in  utter  detestation 
the  epicurean  character. 


68  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


DILIGENCE  AND  PUNCTUALITY. 

We  extract  the  following  just  remarks 
from  Cobbett's  "  Advice  to  Young 
Men."  First  of  all,  in  importance  to 
you,  is  the  husbanding  of  your  time. 
Tii€  respect  that  you  will  receive,  the 
real  and  sincere  respect,  will  depend 
entirely  on  what  you  are  able  to  do. 
If  you  be  rich,  you  may  purchase  what 
is  called  respect  ;  but  it  is  not  worth 
having.  To  obtain  respect  worth  pos- 
sessing, you  must  do  more  than  the 
common  run  of  men  in  your  state  of 
life  ;  and  to  be  enabled  to  do  this,  you 
must  manage  well  your  time  ;  and  to 
do  this,  you  must  have  as  much  of  the 
day-ligfh,  and  a  little  of  the  candle- 
hght,  as  is  consistent  with  the  due  dis- 
charge of  your  duties.  When  people 
get  into  the  habit  of  sitting  up,  merely 
for  the  purpose  of  talking,  it  is  no  easy 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  67 

matter  to  break  themselves  of  it  ;  and 
if  they  do  not  go  to  bed  early,  they 
cannot  rise  early.  Young  people  re- 
quire more  sleep  than  those  that  are 
grown  up  ;  there  must  be  the  number 
of  hours,  and  that  number  cannot  well 
be,  on  an  average,  less  than  eight  ; 
and  if  it  be  more  in  winter  time,  it 
is  all  the  better,  for  an  hour  in  bed  is 
better  than  an  hour  spent  in  idle  gos- 
sip. People  should  never  sit  talking 
till  they  do  not  know  what  to  talk  a- 
bout.  It  is  said,  by  the  country  people, 
that  one  hour's  sleep  before  midnight 
is  worth  more  than  two  hours'  sleep  are 
after  midnight,  and  this  I  believe  to  be 
a  fact.  But  it  is  useless  to  go  to  bed 
early,  and  even  to  rise  early,  if  the 
time  be  not  well  employed  after  ri- 
sing. In  general,  half  the  morning  is 
loitered  away.  Those  w^ho  first  in- 
vented morning  gowns  and  slippers 
could  have  very  little  else  to  do.  These 
things  are  very  suitable  for  those  who 
have  had  fortunes  gained  for  them  by 


DO  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

Others ;  very  suitable  for  those  who  hve 
merely  to  consume  the  produce  of  the 
earth  ;  but  he  who  has  his  bread  to  earn, 
or  who  means  to  be  worthy  of  respect,  on 
account  of  his  ]abors,has  no  business  with 
morning  gown  and  slippers.  In  short, 
be  your  business  or  calling  what  it  may, 
dress  at  once  for  the  day,  and  learn 
to  do  it  as  quickly  as  possible.  A 
looking-glass  is  a  great  deal  worse  than 
■useless.  Looking  at  the  face  will  not 
alter  its  shape  or  its  color  ;  and  per- 
haps of  all  wasted  time,  none  is  so  fool- 
ishly wasted  as  that  which  is  spent  in 
surveying  one's  own  face.  Nothing 
can  be  of  little  importance,  if  one  be 
compelled  to  attend  to  it  every  day  of 
our  lives  ;  if  we  shaved  but  once  a 
year,  or  once  a  month,  it  would  hardly 
be  Avorth  naming  ;  but  this  is  a  piece  of 
work  that  must  be  done  every  day  ; 
and  as  it  may  cost  only  about^r^  min- 
utes of  time,  and  may  be  and  frequently 
is  made  to  cost  thirty,  or  even  fifty  min- 
utes, this  is  a  matter  of   real  impor- 


I 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  69 

tance.  I  once  heard  Sir  John  Sinclair 
ask  Mr.  Cochrane  Johnstone  whether 
he  meant  to  have  a  son  of  his  (then  a 
little  boy)  taught  Latin.  "  No,"  said 
Mr.  Johnstone,  "  but  I  mean  to  do 
something  a  srreat  deal  better  for  him." 
"  What  is  Ihat  ?"  said  Sir  John. 
"  Why,"  said  the  other,  ''  teach  him 
to  shave  with  cold  water,  and  icithoiit 
a  glass.'^  Which,  I  dare  say,  he  did  ; 
and  for  which  benefit,  that  son  has  had 
good  reason  to  be  grateful.  Only  think 
of  the  inconvenience  attending  the  com- 
mon practice  !  There  must  be  hot 
water  ;  to  have  this,  there  must  be 
fire  ;  and  in  some  cases  a  fire  for  this 
purpose  alone.  For  want  of  these,  the 
job  is  put  oft',  until  a  later  hour  ;  this 
causes  a  stripping,  and  another  dres- 
sing- bold  ;  or  you  go  in  a  slovenly 
state  all  day,  and,  the  next  day,  the 
thing  omi-st  be  done,  or  cleanliness  a- 
bandoned  altogether.  If  you  be  on  a 
journey,  you  must  wait  the  pleasure  of 
the  servants  at  the  inn,  betore  you  can 


70  THE    YOUNG    MAR. 

dress  and  set  out  in  the  morning  ;  the 
pleasant  time  for  travelUng  is  gone  be- 
fore you  can  move  from  the  spot  ;  in- 
stead of  being  at  the  end  of  your  day's 
journe}"  in  good  time,  you  are  benight- 
ed, and  have  to  endure  all  the  incon- 
veniences attendant  on  taidy  move- 
ments. And  all  this  from  the,  appa- 
rently, insignificant  affair  of  shaving  ! 
How  many  a  piece  of  important  busi- 
ness has  failed  from  a  short  delay  ! 
And  how  many  of  these  delays  proceed 
from  this  unworthy  cause  1 

"  Be  always  ready,"  was  the  motto 
of  a  famous  French  general  ;  and  pray 
let  it  be  yours,  and  never,  during  your 
whole  life,  have  to  say,  "  1  cannot  go 
till  I  be  shaved  and  dressed."  Do  the 
whole  at  once,  for  the  day,  whatever  be 
your  state  of  life  ;  and  then  you  have  a 
day  unbroken  by  those  indispensable 
performances.  Begin  thus  in  the  days 
of  your  youth,  and,  having  felt  the  su- 
periority which  this  practice  will  give 
you  over  those,  in  all  other    respects 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  ?1 

your  equals,  the  practice  will  stick  by 
you,  to  the  end  of  your  lite.  Till  you 
be  shaved  and  dressed  for  the  day,  you 
cannot  set  steadily  about  any  business  j 
you  know  that  you  must  presently  quit 
your  labor  to  return  to  the  dressing  af- 
fair ;  you  therefore  put  it  off  until  that 
be  over  ;  and  the  interval,  the  precious 
interval,  is  spent  in  lounging  about  ; 
and  by  the  time  that  you  are  ready  for 
business,  the  best  part  of  the  day  is 
gone- 
Trifling  as  the  matter  appears,  upon 
naming  it,  it  is  in  fact  one  of  the  great 
concerns  of  life,  and  for  ray  part  I  can 
truly  say  that  1  owe  more  of  my  great 
labors  to  my  strict  adherence  to  the 
principles  that  I  have  given  you,  than 
to  all  the  natural  abilities  with  which  I 
have  beon  endowed.  For  these  would 
have  been  of  comparatively  little  use, 
even  aided  by  great  sobriet}'  and  absti- 
nence, if  1  had  not,  in  early  life,  con- 
tracted the  blessed  habit  of  husbanding 
well  my  time.     To  this,  more  than  to 


72  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

any  thing  else,  I  owed  my  very  extra- 
ordinary promotion  in  the  army.  I  was 
always  ready  ;  and  if  I  had  to  mount 
guard  at  ten,  I  was  ready  at  nine  ; 
never  did  any  man,  or  any  thing,  wait 
one  moment  for  me.  Being  at  an  age 
under  twenty  years,  raised  from  corpo- 
ral to  sergeant-major  at  once,  over  the 
heads  of  thirty  sergeants,  I  naturally 
should  have  been  an  object  of  envy 
and  hatred  ;  but  this  habit  of  early  ri- 
sing, and  of  rigid  adherence  to  the  pre- 
cepts which  I  have  given  you,  really 
subdued  those  passions,  because  every 
one  felt  that  what  I  did  he  had  never 
done  and  never  could  do.  Before  my 
promotion  a  clerk  was  wanted  to  make 
out  the  morning  report  of  the  regiment. 
I  rendered  the  clerk  unnecessary  ;  and 
long  before  any  other  man  was  dressed 
for  the  parade,  my  work  for  the  morn- 
ing was  all  done,  and  I  myself  was  on 
the  parade,  walking  in  fine  weather  for 
an  hour  perhaps. 

My  custom  was  this,  to  get  up  in 


THE    YOUNG   MAN.  73 


four  o'clock  ;  shave,  dress,  even  to  the 
putting  of  my  sword-belt  on  my  shoul- 
der, and  having  my  sword  lying  on 
the  table  before  me,  ready  to  hang  by 
my  side.  I  ate  a  bit  of  cheese,  or  pork, 
and  bread.  Then  I  prepared  my  re- 
port, which  was  filled  up  as  fast  as  the 
companies  brought  me  in  the  materials. 
After  this  I  had  an  hour  or  two  to  read 
before  the  time  came  for  any  duty  out 
of  doors,  unless  when  the  regiment 
went  out  to  exercise  in  the  morning. 
When  this  w^as  the  case,  and  the  mat- 
ter was  left  to  me,  I  always  had  it  on 
the  ground  in  such  time  as  that  the 
bayonets  glistened  in  the  rising  sun  ; 
a  sight  which  gave  me  delight,  of  which 
I  often  think,  but  which  I  should  in 
vain  endeavor  to  describe.  If  the  offi- 
cers were  to  go  out,  eight  or  ten  o'clock 
was  the  hour,  sweating  the  men  in  the 
heat  of  the  day,  breaking  in  upon  the 
time  for  cooking  their  dinner,  putting 
F 


74  The  young  man". 

all  things  out  of  order,  and  all  the  men 
out  of  humor.  When  I  was  comman- 
der, the  men  had  a  long  day  of  leisure 
before  them  ;  they  could  ramble  into 
the  town,  or  into  the  woods  ;  go  to 
get  raspberries,  to  catch  birds,  to  catch 
fish,  or  to  pursue  any  other  recreation, 
and,  such  of  them  as  chose,  to  work  at 
their  trades.  So  that  here,  arising 
from  the  early  habits  of  one  very 
young  man,  were  pleasant  and  happy 
days  given  to  hundreds. 

Money  is  said  to  be  power,  which  is, 
in  some  cases,  true,  and  the  same  may 
be  said  of  knowledge,  but  superior 
sobriety,  industry,  and  activity,  are  a 
still  more  certain  source  of  power  ;  for, 
ivithout  these,  knowledge  is  of  little 
use,  and  as  to  the  power  that  money 
gives,  it  is  that  of  brute  force  ;  it  is  the 
power  of  the  bludgeon  and  the  bayonet, 
and  of  the  bribed  press,  tongue,  and 
pen.  Superior  sobriet}^,  industry,  and 
activity,  though  accompanied  with  but 
a  moderate  portion  of  knowletlge,  com- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  75 

inand  respect,  because  they  have  great 
and  visible  influence.  All  those  whose 
interests  are  at  stake,  prefer,  of  necessi- 
ty, those  whose  exertions  produce  the 
greatest,  and  most  immediate  and 
visible  etTects. 

Self-interest  is  no  respecter  of  per- 
sons ;  it  asks,  not  u'ho  knows  best  what 
ought  to  be  done,  but  who  is  most  like- 
ly to  do  it  ;  we  may,  and  ot\en  do  ad- 
mire the  talents  of  lazy  and  even  dis- 
sipated men,  but  we  do  not  tiTist  them 
with  the  care  of  our  interests.  If, 
therefore,  you  would  have  respect  and 
influence  in  the  circle  in  which  you 
move,  be  more  sober,  more  industrious, 
and  more  active  than  the  general  run 
of  those  amongst  whom  yoa  live. 


76  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


FAITHFULNESS. 


Faithfulness  is  a  habit  Avhich  the 
young  should  cuUivate.  What  more 
desirable  qualification  can  a  young  man 
possess,  than  faithfulness  to  his  emjjloy- 
ers,  in  the  discharge  of  all  business  and 
interest  intrusted  to  his  disposal.  Once 
let  a  young  man  obtain  the  name  of 
being  faithful  in  all  the  duties  and  obli- 
gations resting  upon  him,  and  he  se- 
cures the  confidence  of  the  whole  com- 
munity. But,  once  let  it  be  known 
that  he  \^  faithless,  and  all  trust  in  him 
is  destroyed,  and  his  character  receives 
a  fatal  blow. 

Have  you  business  to  transact  ?  Do 
it  faithfully,  if  your  own  ;  and  espe- 
cially so,  if  it  is  confided  to  you  by 
others.  Have  you  work  to  perform  ? 
Let  it  be  done  faithfully,  as  near  what 
you  contracted  to  do,  and  as  near  what 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  77 

it  appears  to  be,  as  possible.  Avoid  all 
deception  in  regard  to  these  things.  A 
mechanic  or  a  merchant  very  much 
mistakes  his  interest  who  slights  his 
work,  or  palms  off'  his  goods,  lor  what 
they  really  are  not.  Such  men  gain  a 
lew  dollars  ui  the  outset  ;  but  a  just 
and  speedy  retribution  awaits  them. 
Their  deceptions  are  soon  discovered 
— their  dishonesty  is  laid  bare — and 
an  indignant  community  will  withhold 
all  further  patronage  and  encourage- 
ment. 

A  Mahratta  Prince,  in  passing 
through  a  certain  apartment  one  day, 
discovered  one  of  his  servants  with  his 
master's  slippers  clasped  so  tightly  to 
his  breast,  that  he  was  unable  to  disen- 
gage them.  Struck  with  the  fact,  and 
concluding  at  once  that  a  person  who 
was  so  jealously  careful  of  a  trifle,  could 
not  fail  to  be  faithful  when  intrusted 
with  a  thing  of  importance,  he  appoin- 
ted him  a  member  of  his  body-guard. 
The  result  proved  that  the  prince  was 


78  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

not  mistaken.  Rising  in  office,  step  " 
by  step,  the  5"0ung  man  soon  became 
the  most  distinguished  military  com- 
mander in  Mahratta,  and  his  fame  ul- 
timately spread  throughout  India. 
Thus,  faithfulness  will  ever  gain  confi- 
dence, and  is  one  of  the  most  essential 
ingredients  in  securing  respect  and  pros- 
perity. Be  faithful,  then, — faitliful  in 
all  you  do,  even  in  the  most  trivial 
things — and  a  certain  reward  awaits 
you. 


PERSEVERANCE. 


Perseverance  is  another  habit  which 
young  men  should  acquire.  This  hab- 
it must  be  long  cultiv^ated  before  it  can 
be  fully  obtained,  but,  when  well  ad- 
hered to,  will  accomplish  the  most  sur- 
prising results.  Let  your  plans  be  de- 
liberately and  maturely  formed  —  see 


THE    YOUNG    MAN,  79 

that  they  are  honest  and  honorable  — 
and  then  let  "  Perseverance"  be  your 
watch-word,  and  you  wiil  seldom  fail 
of  success,  ••  I  can't."  never  accom- 
plished anything-,  "'  Colonel  Miller." 
--^id  General  Ripley,  at  the  battle  of 
Xia^ara,  '*'  can  vou  carrv  that  batte- 
ry ?"  "  General  Ripley,  I  will  try," 
was  the  laconic  reply.  At  the  head  of 
his  gallant  regiment,  he  tried,  and.  by 
untiring  bravery,  with  perseverance, 
succeeded  in  repulsing  the  foe, and  car- 
rying the  batter}'.  "  I  will  tr\',"  has 
accomplished  wonders  in  the  world- 
When  the  habit  of  perseverance  stands 
by  you,  as  a  handmaid,  to  lend  her  as- 
sistance, you  can  safely  calculate  upon 
a  favorable  result  in  all  your  reasona- 
ble operations  :  but,  without  this  desi- 
rable quali6cation.  you  ma}-  commence 
a  thousand  projects  and  fail  in  alL 
When  a  proper  business  is  fairly  un- 
dertaken, or  a  resolution  formed,  perse- 
vere in  its  pursuit — bend  all  the  ener- 
gies of  vour  mind  to  its  .service,  and  let 


80  THE   YOUNG   MAN. 

no  common  inducement  swerve  you 
into  another  track.  "  A  young  man, 
who  had  wasted  his  patrimony  by  pro- 
fligacy, while  standing  one  day  on  ihe 
brow  of  a  precipice,  from  which  he  had 
determined  to  throw  himself,  formed 
the  sudden  resolution  to  regain  what 
he  had  lost.  The  purpose  thus  formed 
was  persevered  in  ;  and,  though  he 
began  by  shovelling  a  load  of  coal  into 
a  cellar,  )^et  he  proceeded  from  one  step 
to  another,  till  he  more  than  recovered 
his  lost  possessions,  and  died  worth 
sixty  thousand  pounds  sterling." 

A  well-directed  perseverance  in  a 
laudable  undertaking  will  insure  suc- 
cess against  many  disadvantages.  It 
will  overcome  obscurity  of  birth,  the 
want  of  fortune,  and  of  weahhy  and 
influential  friends.  A  case  in  point 
occurred  under  the  observation  of  the 
writer.  I  remember  well  that  anti- 
quated school-house  in  a  small  ham- 
let, at  the  north-western  part  of  the 
State  of  New  York.      The    teacher 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  81 

procured  a  s'lver  medal,  and  suspended 
it  at  his  desk,  in  sigiit  of  the  school, 
v.'ith  the  annunciation  that,  at  the  end 
of  the  term,  it  should  be  the  prize  of 
the  scholar  who  should  excel.  A  spirit 
of  eager  rivalry  was  awakened  in  the 
school — all  strived  assiduously  to  gain 
the  glittering  reward.  But  the  eye  of 
memory  rests  particularly  upon  two 
lads,  of  nearly  an  equal  age,  who  bore 
the  most  prominent  part  in  this  intel- 
lectual strife.  The  disparity  in  their 
circumstances  was  striking.  The  one, 
the  son  of  a  man  of  wealth  and  high 
standing,  was  promised  additional  re- 
wards by  his  relatives  did  he  secure 
the  prize.  The  father  of  the  other  was 
poor  —  all  he  possessed  was  honesty 
and  industry  —  and  to  the  son  no 
other  inducement  could  be  held  out, 
than  the  prize  itself  and  the  honor  of 
obtaining  it.  And  this  was  sufficient 
to  fire  his  ambition.  The  son  of  pov- 
erty termed  a  fixed  determination  that 
the  medal  should  be  his.     He   apphed 


82  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

himself  to  study  with  the  most  indom- 
itable perseverance — nothing  could  di- 
vert his  attention  or  thwart  his  pur- 
pose. His  efforts  resulted  in  complete 
success, — his  industry  and  perseverance 
met  their  certain  reward.  He  v.'as 
crowned  victor  ;  and  with  the  blushes 
of  boyhood  received  the  envied  reward  ! 
In  this  instance,  perseverance  accom- 
plished, what  wealth  could  not. 

Let  us  trace  the  history  of  these  lads 
a  little  farther.  After  living  side  by 
side,  engnged  in  the  same  sports  and 
amusements,  a  few  years  after  the  inci- 
dent above  related,  they  parted.  The 
son  of  the  man  of  wealth  entered  high- 
er seminaries,  to  obtain  the  advantages 
of  a  more  extended  education  ;  while 
the  other  was  put  to  a  mechanical  oc- 
cupation. It  was  then  that  the  latter 
first  felt  with  force  the  disparity  of  the 
gifts  of  fortune — first  sensibly  realized 
the  evils  of  poverty.  While  he  vras 
engaged  in  laborious  business  as  a 
means  of  subsistence,  his  early  compan- 


THE     YOUNG    MAN.  83 

ion  was  expanding  his  mind  with  the 
lights  of  hterature  and  science,  with 
every  prospect  of  occupying  a  station 
in  hfe  as  superior  to  the  other  as  were 
his  advantages.  But  the  poor  lad,  not- 
withstanding his  adverse  circumstan- 
ces, was  not  disposed  to  remain  in  ob- 
scurity. He  firmi}'  resolved  to  make 
every  exertion  in  his  power,  to  rise  a- 
bove  the  disadvantages  of  birth  and 
indigence.  He  summoned  Industry 
and  Perseverance  to  be  his  handmaids 
in  the  career  he  had  marked  out  and 
determined  to  pursue.  Every  elTort 
was  put  forth  —  every  means  of  im- 
provement within  his  reach  was  dili- 
gently used — and  every  possible  ad- 
vantage secured.  Nor  were  his  efforts 
unavaihng.  Success,  beyond  his  most 
sanguine  expectations,  attended  him, 
and  now  at  the  penning  of  these  lines 
he  occupies  a  station  in  one  of  the  most 
enlightened  communities  in  the  world, 
which,  while  requiring  far  more  talent, 
Is  as  elevated,  as  respectable,  and  honor- 


84  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

able,  as  that  filled  by  the  wealthy  com- 
panion of  his  childhood.  These  cir- 
cumstances are  not  narrated  to  cast  any 
disparagement  upon  the  latter.  His 
course  thus  iar  in  life  has  been  prospe- 
rous and  honorable.  He  occupies  a 
station,  which  none  can  obtain  but  those 
well  skilled  in  his  profession.  But  they 
are  adverted  to,  solely  to  convince 
young  men,  that  enhghtened  persever- 
ance can  overcome  almost  every  ob- 
stacle in  an  honorable  career. 


ECONOMY. 


"Wherein  is  economy  to  be  practised  ? 
is  the  question  which  first  arises  in  the 
mind,  when  seriously  exercised  on  this 
subject.  We  Avill  endeavor  to  an- 
swer it. 

1.     In  dress.     Attire  should  be  com- 
fortable and  decent.     It  should  be  com- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  85 

fortable,  having  regard  to  the  dimale 
and  the  season  of  the  year.  No  per- 
son, in  the  exercise  of  judgment,  would 
wear  the  same  clothing  in  all  respects 
in  the  torrid,  that  he  would  in  the  frigid 
zone  ;  in  summer,  that  he  would  in 
winter.  Reason  dictates  the  suitable- 
ness of  different  apparel.  Yet  some 
are  so  regardless  of  propriety,  or  so  im- 
provident, that  they  seem  to  reverse 
this  order  of  nature.  Their  clothing  is 
unsuitable  and  unbecoming,  and  discov- 
ers great  deficiency  in  judgment  and 
taste.  Attire  too  should  be  decent,  nei- 
ther so  costly,  mean,  nor  singular,  as  to 
attract  attention.  Habiliments  may  be 
so  ordinary  as  to  cast  contempt  upon 
him  who  wears  them,  and  they  may  be 
so  expensive  as  to  produce  the  same 
unpleasant  effect.  The  coarsest  and 
the  finest  cloth  is  less  durable  than  that 
of  a  medium  quality.  The  latter,  there- 
fore, should  be  preferred.  While  some 
persons  are  so  fond  of  costly  dress  as  to 
have  their    minds   engrassed    with  it. 


8b  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

Others  are  totally  indifferent  to  ihe 
quality  of  their  apparel^  or  pride  them- 
selves upon  their  inferior  garments. 
Every  one  should  endeavor  to  render 
himself  acceptable  in  the  kind  and 
manner  of  his  attire  ;  bearing  in  mind, 
however,  the  remark  of  Dr.  Franklin, 

"  Fond  pride  of  dress  is  sure  a  very  curse  5 
Ere  fancy  you  consult,  consult  your  purse." 

2.  Economy  in  expense  for  board. 
The  mode  of  living  ought  to  be  tempe- 
rate. Food  should  be  plain  and  simple, 
— served  without  the  aid  of  the  artificial 
stimulants  of  modern  cookery.  High 
jiving  is  a  precursor  to  indolence  and 
disease  ;  but  a  temperate  diet  is  pro- 
motive of  health  and  activity.  "  Sound 
sleep,"  says  the  son  of  Sirach,  in  the 
Apocrypha,  "'  cometh  of  moderate  eat- 
ing ;  he  riseth  early,  and  his  wits  are 
with  him  ;  but  the  pains  of  watching 
and  choler  are  witli  an  insatiable 
man."  The  famous  Cornaro  used  to 
remark,  that  '°  Of  all  parts  of  a  feast, 


THE    YOUNG    MA??.  87 

that  which  one  leaves  does  one  the 
most  good."  Says  a  proverb,  "  An 
expensive  mouth  makes  a  lean  purse."' 

3.  Many  young  men  consume 
more  fuel  than  is  necessary,  and  more 
than  is  beneficial  for  their  health  and 
happiness.  An  excessive  degree  ot' 
heat  debilitates,  and  produces  sluggish- 
ness J  vrhile  a  cool  state  of  the  system 
operates  as  a  tonic,  and  invigoratc^s.  I 
have  known  young  men,  in  the  coldest 
weather  of  winter,  heat  their  rooms  to 
such  a  degree  as  to  be  obliged  to  throw 
their  coats  off.  How  injudicious  this 
is,  as  it  respects  health  and  economy  ! 
In  the  use  of  lights  it  is  different. 
There  should  always  be  a  sufficiency 
to  i)revent  injury  to  the  eyes,  w^hile 
working  or  reading. 

4.  There  may  be  prodigality  in  in- 
cidental expenses.  Some  seem  dispo- 
sed to  purchase  every  trifling  thing  that 
comes  in  their  way.  They  cannot,  or 
do  not,  withstand  temptations,  but  are 
unwarrantably  free  in  the  use  of  what 


88  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

is  termed  pocket  money.  They  do  thi?, 
not  considering,  that,  while  they  tlius 
squander  property,  they  acquire  bad 
habits  and  lose  reputation. 

Such  are  a  few  of  the  particulars  in 
which  economy  should  be  practised. 
But  why  ? 

1.  Economy  should  be  practised, 
because,  in  this  way,  an  unjustifiable 
expenditure  of  money  will  be  prevent- 
ed. "  Owe  no  man  anything"  is  an 
injunction  demanding  the  most  serious 
attention.  Embarrassment,  incurred 
by  prodigality,  should  be  considered  a 
moral,  as  well  as  a  natural  evil.  Al- 
low not  yourself  to  purchase  on  credit, 
if  you  can  avoid  it,  for  by  so  doing  you 
will  pay  a  large  per  centage.  Never 
purchase  an  article  which  you  do  not 
need,  because  it  is  cheap.  Remember 
the  sayings  of  Franklin,  "  Nothing  is 
cheap  that  you  do  not  want,"  and 
"Buy  what  thou  hast  no  need  of,  and 
ere  long  thou  shalt  sell  thy  necessa- 
ries."    While  frugality  is  a  virtue,  par- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  89 

simony  is  a  vice.  A  penurious,  mer- 
cenary spirit  should  in  no  case  be  in- 
dulged. 

2.  Economy  will  prevent  much  un- 
happiness.  The  mind  of  a  person  will 
be  affected  more  or  less  by  his  pecuni- 
ary condition.  This  will  depend  in  a 
great  measure  on  his  natural  tempera- 
ment. When  embarrassed  by  debt 
and  harassed  by  creditors,  irritation, 
perplexity  and  dejection  will  be  produ- 
ced. The  declaration  on  the  part  of 
him  who  says,  '•  I  am  willing  to  wait 
till  you  can  find  it  convenient  to  pay," 
has  been  of  immense  injury  to  multi- 
tudes of  young  men.  They  have  learn- 
ed, in  such  instances,  that  experience 
keeps  a  dear  school,  that  "  creditors 
have  better  memories  than  debtors." 

3.  Economy  will  furnish  the  means 
of  doing  good.  Money  is  power,  and 
more  good  can  be  accomplished  with, 
than  without  it.  When  a  person 
makes  a  purchase,  he  should  inquire, 

G 


90  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

Do  I  really  need  this?  Can  1  do  with- 
out it  ?  A  careful  expenditure  of  mo- 
ney should  ever  characterise  your  con- 
duct. 

One  measure,  which  will  aid  you  in 
forming  the  habit  of  economy,  is  the 
keeping  an  account  of  expenses.  Pur- 
chase a  book,  and  open  a  regular  ac- 
count with  yourself —  keep  debt  and 
credit  ;  make  an  entry  of  all  your  re- 
ceipts and  expenditures, — be  particu- 
lar in  details,  and  let  no  item  escape 
your  registry.  It  is  a  good  saying, 
"  Take  care  of  the  pence,  and  the 
pounds  will  take  care  of  themselves." 
When  you  make  contracts,  settle  all 
the  particulars  respecting  them  at  the 
time.  Never  leave  anything  to  dis- 
cretion, or  to  be  fixed  upon  at  some  fu- 
ture day.  By  doing  this,  you  will  pre- 
vent much  difficulty.  Take  receipts 
for  the  money  you  spend,  and  put  them 
in  file,  that  you  may  readily  turn  to 
them  if  necessity  requires.  Look  over 
your  pecuniary  affairs  frequently,  that 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  91 

you  may  learn  their  state.  Never 
consent  to  be  trusted.  By  doing  this, 
you  will  avoid  a  temptation  to  pur- 
chase what  is  not  really  needed,  and 
to  give  more  for  an  article  than  its 
value.  It  is  far  easier  to  order  a  thing 
than  to  pay  for  it.  And  remember  the 
words  of  Solomon,  "  He,  that  is  surety 
for  a  stranger,  shall  smart  for  it  ;  and 
he,  that  hateth  suretiship,  is  sure." — 
Never  therefore  be  surety  for  others. 

i-Uustratfons. 

As  an  encouragement  to  young  men, 
in  the  pursuit  of  the  substantial  virtues 
which  have  been  dwelt  upon  in  the  pre- 
ceding pages,  we  will  add  an  illustra- 
tion or  two,  taken  from  newspapers  of 
the  present  time. 

In  the  fall  of  the  year  1830,  a  young 
man,  just  out  of  his  time,  landed  at 
Whitehall,  New  York,  to  seek  employ- 
ment as  a  journeyman  printer.  He 
was  friendless  and  penniless,  and,  after 


92  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

three  months  spent  in  seeking  worlc^ 
was  about  ready  to  give  up  all  hope  of 
success,  but  resolving  still  to  persevere  ; 
he  at  length  obtained  employment  as 
a  journeyman,  at  eight  dollars  per 
week,  in  the  office  of  the  New  York 
Evangelist,  a  weekly  paper  pubhshed 
in  the  city  of  New  York.  He  contin- 
ued in  that  situation  till  the  spring  of 
1832,  when  he  procured  a  press  and  a 
few  type,  on  credit,  and  opened  a  very 
small  printing  office,  to  print  cards  and 
circulars.  He  had  no  sooner  commen- 
ced business  in  this  small  way  for  him- 
self, than  the  cholera,  that  awful 
scourge,  appeared  in  the  city.  He  was 
compelled,  with  a  heavy  debt,  to  close 
his  office,  and  go  to  work  as  a  journey- 
man on  the  Evangelist,  to  procure 
bread  for  his  httle  family.  After  a 
few  months,  when  the  cholera  had  sub- 
sided, nothing  daunted  by  so  unprom- 
ising a  beginning,  the  perse  veering 
young  man  re-opened  his  little  office, 
and  obtained,  otccasionally,  a  job  or  two 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  93 

of  work.  His  first  attempt  at  publicity 
was  "  the  World  at  one  view,"  a  geo- 
graphical chart,  of  which  he  pubhshed 
three  or  four  thousand  copies.  He 
found,  however,  that  his  chart  would 
not  sell  ;  he  was  using  the  sheets  for 
waste  paper,  when  a  friend  suggested 
to  him  that  he  ought  to  advertise  ;  that 
if  the  sheet  was  known,  it  would  doubt- 
less meet  with  a  very  large  sale.  Act- 
ing upon  this  hint  to  advertise,  to  which 
so  much  of  his  subsequent  success  is 
to  be  traced.' he  sent  an  advertisement 
to  the  New  York  Sun,  (then  just  start- 
ed) headed,  "  The  World  for  twelve 
AND  A  HALF  CENTS  ! !  !"  Tliis  Caption 
took  well.  His  little  office  was  the  next 
day  crowded  with  customers,  to  buy 
THE  World  for  the  small  sum  of  12  1-2 
cents  !  This  sheet  was  followed  by  an- 
other, called  the  "  New  Family  Receipt 
Book,"  which,  by  similar  efibrts,  met 
with  similar  success,  and  altogether, 
about  thirty  thousand  of  these  useful 
sheets  were  sold  !    Encouraged  by  this 


94  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

success,  he  conceived  an  enterprise  of 
still  greater  importance — the  publica- 
tion of  a  valuable  volume,  "  Pictorial 
Illustrations  of  the  Bible."  Most  of  his 
friends  dissuaded  him  from  his  expen- 
sive undertaking,  predicted  a  failure, 
some  mocked,  and  other  smiled,  but 
in  vain.  In  the  fall  of  1840  the  work 
appeared  ;  and,  owing  partly  to  its  in- 
trinsic value,  partly  to  the  beauty  of 
its  illustrations,  and  outside  appear- 
ance, and  partly  to  its  being  so  ex- 
tensively advertised,  it  met  with  an  al- 
most unprecedented  popularity. 

Not  to  extend  this  article  too  much, 
the  reader  has  already  surmised  that 
this  enterprising  and  persevering  young 
journeyman  printer  is  no  other  than 
Robert  Sears,  the  well-knov/n  author, 
the  writer,  the  compiler,  the  printer, 
the  publisher,  and  bookseller,  of  the 
three  beautiful  volumes  of  Pictorial 
Illustrations,  which  succeeded  each  oth- 
er at  intervals  of  about  six  months,  and 
of  which,  by  the  aid   of  about  ^5000 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  95 

expended  in  advertising,  the  almost  in- 
credible number  of  30,000  were  sold  in 
less  tlian  eigliteen  months  ;  and  also 
of  two  other  equally  elegant  pictorial 
volumes — "'  The  Bible  Biography," 
and  the  '"  Pictorial  Wonders  of  the 
World."  These  two  volumes  are  re- 
ceived with  a  popularity  nearly  or  quite 
equal  to  that  of  the  Pictorial  Illustra- 
tions ;  and  in  addition  to  these,  Mr. 
Sears  is  now  the  editor,  proprietor,  and 
publisher,  of  "  Sears's  New  Monthly 
Family  Magazine" — a  most  valuable 
periodical  publication,  which  has  alrea- 
dy obtained  an  almost  unprecedented 
circulation.  How  striking  an  illustra- 
tion is  afforded  in  the  uphill  progress  of 
this  friendless  journeyman  printer,  of 
the  truth  of  the  adage — "  Labor  omnia 

VINCIT." 

Mr.  James  Harper,  who  has  just 
teen  elected  Mayor  of  the  city  of  New 
York,  was  bred  a  practical  printer,  and 
is  thus  spoken  of  by  Mr.  Thurlow 
Weed  :— 


96  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

"  In  1816,  we  worked  as  a  journey- 
man in  the  same  office  with  James  and 
John  Harper.  They  were  distinguish- 
ed, like  Frankhn,  our  great  example  in 
the  art,  for  industry,  temperance,  and 
economy.  James  was  our  partner  at 
press.  We  were  at  our  work  as  soon 
as  the  day  dawned,  and  though,  on  a 
pleasant  summer  afternoon,  we  used 
occasionally  to  sigh  for  a  walk  upon 
the  Battery  before  sundown,  he  never 
would  allow  the  '  balls  to  be  capp'd  ' 
until  we  had  broken  the  back  of  the 
thirteenth  '  token.'  The  sequel  is.  that 
the  journeyman  Printer  of  1816,  is,  in 
1844,  the  head  t'»f  one  of  the  first — if  not 
the  first — publishing  houses  in  the  world 
— a  man  of  ample  fortune,  enjoying  the 
respect  and  confidence  of  his  fellow  citi- 
zens in  so  eminent  a  degree,  that  he 
has  become  the  Chief  Magistrate  of 
our  great  metropolis.  Such  are  the 
rewards  of  industry,  enterprise,  and  in- 
tegrity." 

Simon  Greenleaf.  Professor  of  Law 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  97 

at  Cambridge  University,  is  an  exam- 
ple of  what  a  man  may  become  by 
studious  habits.  With  a  limited  edu- 
cation, he  entered  a  lawyer's  office,  and, 
by  his  industrious  habits  and  attention 
to  his  books,  when  he  began  to  prac- 
tise, took  a  high  stand  as  a  lawyer. 
For  several  years  he  had  an  extensive 
practice  at  the  Cumberland  (Maine) 
bar,  till  he  was  called  to  occupy  his 
present  station.  He  is  the  author  of 
several  works,  which  rank  high  among 
our  ablest  lawyers. 

What  young  man  will  fold  his  hands 
and  slumber,  when  by  active  exertion 
he  can  take  a  high  stand,  and  be  emi- 
nently useful  among  his  fellow  men  ? 
Up  and  be  doing — lo.?e  not  a  day  nor 
an  hour  in  sloth,  and  there  is  no  posi- 
tion too  elevated  that  you  may  not 
reach. 


THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


CHOICE  OF  ASSOCIATES. 

The  power  of  example  is  proverbial. 
We  are  creatures  of  imitation,  and, 
by  a  necessary  influence,  our  temper 
and  habits  are  very  much  formed  on 
the  model  of  those  with  whom  we  fa- 
miliarly associate.  In  this  view,  noth- 
ing is  more  important  to  young  men 
than  the  choice  of  their  companions.  If 
they  select  for  their  associates  the  in- 
telligent, the  virtuous,  and  the  enterpri- 
sing, great  and  most  happy  will  be  the 
effect  on  their  own  character  and 
habits.  With  these  living,  breathing, 
patterns  of  excellence  before  them,  they 
can  hardly  fail  to  feel  a  disgust  at  ev- 
erything that  is  low,  unworthy,  and  vi- 
cious, and  be  inspired  with  a  desire  to 
advance  in  whatever  is  praiseworthy 
and  good.  It  is  needless  to  add,  that 
the  opposite  of  all  this   is    the  certain 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  99 

consequence  of  intimacy  with  persons 
of  bad  habits  and  profligate  Hves. 

Young  men  are,  in  general,  but  Ht- 
tle  aware,  how  much  their  reputation 
is  afifected  in  the  eye  of  the  pubUc  by 
the  company  they  keep.  Intimacy 
with  persons  of  bad  character  always 
sinks  a  man  in  the  opinion  of  others. 
While  he  thinks  but  little  of  the  con- 
sequences, others  are  making  their  re- 
marks ;  they  learn  what  his  taste  is  ; 
what  sort  of  company  he  prefers,  and 
predict,  on  no  doubtful  ground,  what 
will  be  the  issue  to  his  own  character. 


FEMALE  SOCIETY. 

When  any  of  your  young  companions 
affects  the  wit,  and  would  sharpen  his 
^aden  sarcasms  against  the  female 
character,  as  a  fair  butt  ;  set  it  down  as 
a   mark  of  a   weak   head  or  a  base 


100  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

heart  ;  it  cannot  be  good  sense,  or  grat- 
itude, or  justice,  or  honorable  feeling  of 
any  kind.  There  are  indeed  nations 
where  a  boy,  as  soon  as  he  puts  off  the 
dress  of  a  child,  goes  that  same  day 
and  beats  his  mother  to  show  his  man- 
hood. These  people  hve  in  the  savage 
realms  of  Africa,  and  there  let  them 
be  ;  to  imitate  them  in  any  degree  is 
to  affect  barbarism,  and  return  to  the 
savage  state.  If  any  of  your  elder  as- 
sociates thus  defame  the  sex,  suspect 
him  of  having  cause,  which  implies 
in  him  a  vile  taste,  as  to  the  parties 
whose  intimacy  he  has  sought  ;  he  is 
exposing  himself  and  his  own  vile  con- 
duct while  he  rails.  He  may  perhaps 
never  have  found  an  excellent  charac- 
ter among  them  ;  but  the  fault  lies  in 
his  not  having  looked  where  they 
were. 

The  very  presence  of  a  respectable 
female  will  often    restrain  those  fror% 
evil,  whose  hearts  are  nevertheless  full 
of  it.     Tt  is  not  easy  to  talk,  or  to  look 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  101 

obscenely,  or  even  to  behave  with  rude- 
ness and  ill-manners  under  such  re- 
straint. Frequent  restraint  tends  to 
give  the  actual  mastery  ;  every  ap- 
proach towards  this  must  be  of  value. 
There  is  a  delicacy  too  in  female  so- 
ciety, which  tends  to  check  the  boiste- 
rous, to  tame  the  brutal,  and  to  embol- 
den the  timid.  Whatever  be  the  in- 
nate character  of  the  youth,  it  may  be 
polished,  perhaps  essentially  ibsteretl 
and  exahed,  by  approbation  so  allu- 
ring, so  gratiiyiiig.      ^ 

When  for  your  own  improvement 
you  are  advised  to  seek  female  inter- 
course, it  is  proper  you  should  begin, 
where  nature  began  with  you  —  res- 
pect your  mother.  We  will  go  fur- 
ther and  say,  aim  to  make  her  your 
friend  ;  her  inclinations  are  strong  to- 
wards such  a  scheme.  It",  on  your 
own  part,   there  seems  to  be  any  diffi- 

«ilty  in  it,  it  shows  considerable  error, 
est  likely  in    your  own  conduct  to- 
wards her.     Are  you  indeed  in  a  state 


102  THE    YOCNG    MAN. 

of  estrangement  from  your  nearest, 
first,  and  most  affectionate  guide  ?  En- 
deavor to  restore  familiar  connection 
with  her.  WJiatever  judgment  your 
father  may  have,  and  far  be  it  from  me 
to  undervalue  it,  yet  your  mother's 
opinion  is  not  only  another  help  to  your 
own,  but  as  a  woman's  it  has  its  pecu- 
liar character,  and  may  have  its  pecu- 
liar value.  Women  sometimes  see  at 
a  glance,  what  a  man  must  go  round 
through  a  train  of  argumentation  to 
discover.  Their  tact  is  delicate,  and 
therefore  quicker  in  operation.  Some- 
times, it  is  true,  their  judgment  will 
be  not  only  prompt,  but  hasty  and 
not  well  formed.  Your  own  judg- 
ment must  assist  you  here.  Do  not, 
however,  proudly  despise  hers,  but  ex- 
amine it ;  it  will  generally  well  repay 
the  trouble  ;  and  the  habit  of  deferring 
to  her  opinion  will  generate  in  you 
much  consideration,  much  self-coi^ 
mand,  much  propriety  of  conduct.  ^|^ 
Well  do  we  remember  many  words 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  103 

of  gentle  but  sound  advice,  given  as 
occasions  ottered,  by  an  affectionate  mo- 
ther. The  tender  warning,  the  pious 
ivish,  the  prophetic  hope,  came  tVom 
the  heart,  and  may  well  be  allowed  to 
reach  equally  deep,  if  a  son's  mind  be 
rightly  disposed.  If  she  be  a  woman 
of  sense,  why  should  you  not  profit  by 
her  long-exercised  intelligence  ?  Nay, 
should  she  ever  be  deficient  in  cultiva- 
tion, or  in  native  talent,  yet  her  expe- 
rience is  something,  and  her  love  for 
you  will  sharpen  all  her  faculties  in 
your  behalf  It  cannot  be  worthiness 
to  despise,  nor  wisdom  to  neglect  your 
mother's  opinion. 

Have  you  sisters  ?  then  you  are  fa- 
vorably situated  ;  especially  if  one  at 
least  is  older  than  yourself  She  has 
done  playing  with  dolls,  and  you  with 
bats  and  balls.  She  is  more  womanly  ; 
her  carriage  becomes  dignified  ;  do  not 
^blige  her,  by  your  boyish  behavior,  to 
^eep  you  at  a  distance.  Try  to  deserve 
the  gharacter  of   a  friend.     She  will 


104  THE    YOUxNG    MAN. 

sometimes  look  to  you  for  little  services 
which  require  strength  and  agility  ;  let 
her  look  up  to  you  for  judgment,  steadi- 
ness, council,  also.  You  may  be  mu- 
tually beneficial.  Your  aflection,  and 
your  intertwining  interest  in  each  oth- 
er's welfare  will  hereby  be  much  in- 
creased. 

There  is  a  sort  of  gallantry  due  to 
the  sex,  which  is  best  attained  by  prac- 
tising at  home.  Your  mother  may 
frequently  reqyiire  your  attention  — 
your  sisters  much  more  often.  Do  not 
want  calling,  or  teasing,  or  eveiT  per- 
suading, to  gain  from  you  such  atten- 
tions as  their  safety,  or  their  comfort, 
or  their  respectabihty  may  require. 
What  a  hohle-de-hoy  is  that,  who  can 
exclaim  with  disgust,  "  Now  I  shall 
have  to  conduct  my  sisters  home  !  1 
wish  they  would  not  go  out.  I  hate  to 
to  dance  after  them  of  all  persons."  To 
gallant  a  sister  in  such  a  case  is  hej^ 
due.  You  are  paying  respect  to  youi^ 
selfj  when  you  are  suitable  f(ir  such  a 


THE    YOUNG   MAN.  105 

service.  She  could,  perhaps,  come 
home  very  well  by  herself;  but  it  would 
be  a  sad  reflection  on  you,  were  she  to 
do  so.  Accustom  yourself,  then,  to 
wait  updn  her,  if  you  are  able.  It  will 
teach  you  how  to  wait  on  others  by 
and  by,  and  meanwhile  it  will  give  a 
graceful  set  to  your  character. 

It  will  be  well  for  you  if  your  sisters 
have  young  friends,  w^hose  acquaint- 
ance with  them  will  bring  them  some- 
times into  your  society.  You  had 
need  sometimes  have  those  present, 
who  may  keep  you  more  on  your  guard 
than  even  your  sisters.  Your  atten- 
tions to  them  will  have  a  more  respect- 
ful manner.  Your  endeavors  to  ap- 
pear, that  is,  to  be,  all  right,  will  be- 
come more  exact,  more  systematic.  Do 
not,  then,  try  to  get  out  of  the  way  of 
female  intercourse. 

But  it  ought  to  be  remembered  that 
.  there  are  some  even  of  that  sex,  which 
ought  to  be  all  purity,  simplicity,  and 
a 


106  THE   YOUNG    MAN. 

kindness,  whom  every  principle  should 
teach  you  to  avoid,  although  received 
in  what  is  called  respectable  society. 
The  general  idea  of  what  a  woman 
ought  to  be,  is  usually  sufficient  to 
guide  you,  with  a  little  care  in  the  ap- 
plication. Prize  your  privilege,  how- 
ever, should  you  meet  with  a  iew  intel- 
ligent, agreeable,  and  respectable  of  the 
sex,  to  whose  society  you  can  have  fre- 
quent access.  It  must  be  your  own 
fault  if  you  do  not  reap  much  advan- 
tage. But  should  your  lot  be  cast  near 
any  who,  with  good  natural  abilities, 
have  a  j  udicious  education,  who  may  ap- 
proximate  to  what  is  called  an  elegant 
mind,  we  think  we  need  not  urge  you 
highly  to  esteem  your  opportunity. 

As  this  advice  is  to  young  men,  per- 
haps in  their  teens,  it  will  be  suppo- 
sed that  what  is  now  to  be  said  must 
refer  to  the  latter  end  of  that  term. 
We  scruple  not  to  say,  keep  matrimo- 
ny in  view.  Should  parents,  guardi- 
ans^ and  elder  sisters,  say,  Hear  f  hear  / 


THE    YOtJNG    MAN.  107 

We  repeat  it  distinctly,  as  our  advice  to 
every  young  man,  Keep  matrimony  in 
view.  Never  conceive  yourself  com- 
plete without  the  other  half  of  your- 
self. The  fashion  among  some  young 
men  of  the  present  day  is,  to  make 
up  their  minds  to  do  without  it  ;  an 
unnatural  and  therefore  an  unwise 
system. 


AMUSEMENTS. 


Young  men  need  not  lack  for  proper 
amusements.  By  an  enlightened  dis- 
crimination, they  can  find  an  abundant 
supply  from  sources  not  only  innocent, 
but  instructive.  Recreations  in  the 
open  air.  for  those  whose  occupations 
are  sedentary — the  perusal  of  interest- 
ing books  and  other  publications — the 
frequenting  of  well  conducied  reading- 
TDdms,  and  an  attfendance  at  lycfeums 


108  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

and  other  meetings  for  public  lectures 
— all  afford  amusement  combined  with 
useful  instruction.  Social  parties, 
and  a  frequent  entrance  into  the  vari- 
ous family  circles  of  your  friends,  are 
prolific  sources  of  innocent  recreation. 
And  we  cannot  forbear  urging  young 
men  .(if,  indeed,  it  is  necessary  to  urge 
them)  to  frequent,  in  their  leisure  hours, 
the  company  of  intelligent  and  virtuous 
females  of  the  class  with  whom  they 
associate.  Nothing  tends  more  to  pol- 
ish a  young  man,  and  to  refine  his 
tastes  and  his  manners,  than  the  society 
of  the  virtuous  of  the  other  sex.  In 
such  company  a  guard  will  be  placed 
upon  the  lip  and  the  actions,  that  can- 
not but  exercise  a  salutary  tendency. 
Deeply  fix  the  resolution  in  3'our  mind, 
to  indulge  in  no  recreation  that  is  not 
of  an  innocent  nature,  and  of  a  strict 
moral  tendency,  and  you  will  exhibit  a 
wisdom  productive  of  immense  ben- 
efits. 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  109 


CONVERSATION  ON  DANCING. 

"  What  can  be  the  possible  harm,"  it 
is  said,  "  in  going  to  a  ball  ?  We  go 
to  a  brightly  illuminated  hall.  We 
have  pleasant  music  to  gratify  the  ear. 
In  graceful  measures,  we  beat  time  to 
its  cadences  in  the  exhilarating  dance. 
After  having  thus  passed  a  few  hours 
of  heartfelt  hilarity,  we  retire  unharm- 
ed to  our  homes.  Now  what  real  ob- 
jection can  there  be  to  this  amuse- 
ment," it  is  asked,  "  which  is  not 
founded  on  ignorance  and  supersti- 
tion ?" 

This  is  a  very  important  question, 
and  it  deserv'es  a  serious  answer.  To 
explain  my  views  on  this  subject,  let  me 
suppose  that  you  have  a  brother  about 
nineteen  years  of  age,  a  very  amiable, 
correct,  and  promising  young  man. 
He  is  attentive  to  his  parents,   kind  to 


110  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

his  sisters  ;  you  all  love  him  with  5^our 
whole  hearts.  He  is  a  clerk  in  a  store, 
and  highly  respected  by  his  employ- 
ers. He  has  so  little  of  selfishness  in 
his  nature,  and  is  so  willing  to  sacrifice 
his  own  inclinations  to  oblige  others, 
that  while  he  thus  promises  to  be  one 
of  the  best  and  most  useful  of  men,  he 
is  consequently  much  exposed  to  be  led 
away  by  temptation. 

Like  an  affectionate  and  dutiful  son 
as  he  is,  he  comes  to  his  father  some 
day,  and  says  to  him,  "  Father,  there 
is  to  be  a  celebrated  ball  to-night.  All 
my  acquaintance  are  going,  and,  if  you 
have  no  objection,  I  should  like  to 
go  also." 

"  Well,  my  son,"  says  your  father, 
"  what  time  does  the  ball  commence  ?" 

"  Between  eight  and  nine  in  the 
evening,"  he  replies. 

"  And  at  what  hour  will  it  close  ?" 
your  father  asks. 

"  They  tell  me,"  your  brother  an- 
swers,   "  that   they  will  probably  go 


TilE    YOUNG    MAN.  Ill 

home  between  two  and  three  o'clock 
in  the  morning." 

"  I  suppose  that  wine  will  be  circu- 
lated very  ireely  on  the  occasion  ;  will 
it  not,  my  son  ?-' 

"  Why,  yes,  sir  ;  I  understand  that 
they  are  to  have  some  dozens  of  cham- 
pagne ;  but  I  hope  that  I  have  resolu- 
tion enough  not  to  be  guilty  of  any 
excess." 

''  I  trust  that  you  have,  my  son  ; 
but  do  you  know  of  any  who  are  go- 
ing, who  have  the  reputation  of  being 
intemperate  ?" 

'•  Yes,  sir  ;  there  will  be  several 
there,  who  are  known  to  drink  too 
much  wine." 

'•  Will  there  be  many  present,  who 
are  considered  generally  dissolute  in 
.their  habits  ?  so  much  .so,  that  you 
would  not  like  to  have  them  for  your 
acquaintance  ?" 

'•  There  will  be  some  such,  sir,  I 
suppose." 

"  It  is  ratlier  dangerous,"  your  father 


112  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

remarks,  "  for  a  young  man  to  be 
thrown  into  such  company,  in  the 
midst  of  all  the  excitements  of  music, 
and  dancing,  and  wine.  It  will  not  be 
easy  to  shake  off  acquaintances  you 

may    necessarily    form     there. 1 

suppose,  of  course,  they  have  card- 
playing  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Do  they  play  for  money,  my 
son?" 

"  Some  of  them,  I  believe,  do,  sir  ; 
for  small  sums." 

"  It  is  not  uncommon,"  your  father 
replies,  "  under  such  circumstances, 
for  persons  to  commence  with  small 
sums,  and  to  go  on  to  greater.  Under 
the  stimulus  of  play  and  wine,  they 
plunge  deeper  and  deeper  into  the  game, 
till  the  dawn  of  morning  finds  them 
still  with  the   cards  in   their  hands. 

"  Many  a  young  man,  in  these 
scenes,  commences  the  road  to  ruin.  T 
have,  in  my  experience,  known  a  greai 
number  thus   lost  to  virtue,    and  who 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  113 

have  brought  hopeless  shame  upon 
their  parents  and  themselves. 

'•  You  say,  my  son,  that  the  ball 
will  break  up  about  three  o'clock  in  the 
morning.  You  can,  perhaps,  get  home 
and  to  your  bed  at  halt-past  three. 
You  must  rise  at  si;c  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  to  get  the  store  opened  in 
season.  This  allows  you  two  hours 
and  a  half  for  sleep — sleep  which,  from 
the  previous  e:.citement.  must  be  fe- 
verish and  urrefreshing. 

'•  Now,  my  son,"  your  father  con- 
tinues, '•  were  I  you,  I  would  not  go. 
By  going,  you  will  be  exposed  to  many 
temptations. — the  excitement  of  wine, 
— the  excitement  of  many  dangerous 
passions.  You  can  hardly  avoid  form- 
ing many  very  undesirable  acquaint- 
ances. You  will  be  invited  to  the  ga- 
ming table,  and  may  thus  commence 
the  acquisition  of  a  taste  for  all  the  ex- 
citements of  gambling. 

"  Many  may  be  there  who,  having 
no  pleasure  but  in  fashionable  dissipa- 


114  THE    YOUNG    MAN, 

tion,  will  be  glad  lo  secure  you  as  an 
associate.  Invitations  will  multiply 
upon  you  to  subscribe  for  weekly  cotil- 
lions, and  nightly  whist  parties.  When 
a  young  man  once  enters  this  vortex, 
it  is  difficult  to  get  out  again.  When 
you  go  to  the  store  in  the  morning,  you 
will  be  languid  and  spiritless  ;  all  your 
energies  exhausted.  With  aching 
head  and  bloodshot  eyes,  and  trembling 
limbs,  you  will  have  a  day  of  mental 
depression,  which  will  vastly  counter- 
balance all  the  enjoyment  of  the  night, 
and  which  "will  greatly  disqualify  you 
for  discharging  your  duty  to  your  em- 
ployers. 

"  When  our  neighbors  have  wonder- 
ed that  we  should  so  carefully  keep  our 
children  away  from  such  scenes  of 
gayety — from  amusements  which  to 
them  appeared  innocent  and  pleasing 
— we  have  replied,  that  it  w^as  our 
conviction,  that  we  could  make  you 
far  happier  by  cuhivating  in  your  heart 
a  taste  for  a  totally  different  class  of 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  115 

pleasures.  Madame  de  Genlis,  who 
was  familiar  with  the  gayeties  of  the 
Palais  Royal  of  Paris,  has  remarked, 
that  the  days  which  succeed  hrilliant 
entertainments  are  always  melancholy. 
'•  Therefore,  my  son,"  your  father 
continues,  ''  I  would  not  go.  Perse- 
vere in  the  plan  of  life  you  have  here- 
tofore laid  down  for  j'ourself  Come 
home,  and  spend  the  evening  in  quiet 
enjoyment  with  your  mother  or  your 
sisters  ;  or,  in  the  perusal  of  some  in- 
teresting volume  from  the  circulating 
library,  acquire  a  taste  for  reading. 
At  your  usual  hour,  retire  to  rest.  You 
will  then  rise  in  the  morning  fresh  and 
vigorous,  and  in  good  spirits  go  to 
your  duties.  And.  as  you  see  your  as- 
sociate in  the  adjoining  store,  who  at- 
tended the  ball,  dozing  in  dejection, 
and  lounging  the  live-long  day  at  his 
desk,  you  will  be  thankful  that  you 
were  more  wise  than  to  sacrifice  so 
much  substantial  good  for  a  few  hours 
of  midnight  merriment. 


116  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

"  By  persevering  in  this  course," 
your  father  continues,  "  you  will  more 
effectually  secure  to  yourself  the  confi- 
dence of  business  men.  Your  credit 
will  be  better.  You  will  sooner  be 
able  to  have  a  home  of  your  own. 
You  will  make  that  home  more  hap- 
py. Your  life  will  glide  away  with 
far  less  danger  of  your  falling  before 
the  power  of  temptation  ;  and  conse- 
quently, there  will  be  a  far  brighter 
prospect  of  your  enjoying  happiness 
beyond  the  grave." 

This  is,  in  the  main,  the  argument 
upon  w^hich  the  objectors  to  this  amuse- 
ment rely,  and  have  relied  during  all 
past  ages.  They  are  fully  convinc- 
ed, that  he,  who  acquires  a  taste  for 
ball-room  pleasures,  v/iil  find  his  earth- 
ly happiness  greatly  impaired,  and 
will  be  exposed  to  temptations  which 
will  greatly  endanger  his  eternal  well- 
being. 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  117 


GENUINE  POLITENESS. 

The  virtues  and  the  graces  are  much 
more  nearly  allied,  than  they,  who  are 
strangers  to  the  virtues,  are  willing  to 
acknowledge.  There  is  something  ex- 
tremely beautiful  in  all  the  moral  vir- 
tues, clearly  understood  and  properly 
reduced  to  practice. 

He  who  has  a  heart  glowing  with 
kindness  and  good-will  towards  his 
fellow-men,  and  who  is  guided  in  the 
exercise  of  these  feelings  by  good  com- 
mon sense,  is  the  truly  polite  man.  Po- 
liteness does  not  consist  in  wearing  a 
white  silk  glove,  and  in  gracefully  lift- 
ing your  hat  as  you  meet  an  acquain- 
tance— it  does  not  consist  in  artificial 
smiles  and  flattering  speech,  but  in 
sincere  and  honest  desires  to  promote 
the  happiness  of  those  around  you  ;  in 


118  THE   YOtJNG   MAN. 

the  readiness  to  sacrifice  your  own 
ease  and  comfort,  to  add  to  the  enjoy- 
ment of  others.  The  poor  negro 
women,  who  found  Miingo  Park  per- 
ishing under  the  palm-trees  of  Africa, 
and  who  led  him  to  their  hut,  and  sup- 
plied him  with  food,  and  lulled  him  to 
sleep  with  their  simple  songs,  were  gen- 
uinely polite.  They  addressed  him  in 
language  of  kindness  and  sympathy  ; 
they  led  him  tenderly  to  their  home, 
and  did  all  in  their  power  to  revive  his 
drooping  spirits. 

A  poor  drover  was  driving  his  beeves 
to  market  in  a  winter's  day.  The  cat- 
tle met  a  lady  in  the  path,  and,  appar- 
ently unconscious  of  the  impoliteness, 
compelled  the  lady  to  turn  one  side  into 
the  snow.  '  Madam,'  said  the  drover, 
apologizing  for  the  rudeness  of  his  herd, 
'  if  the  cattle  knew  as  much  as  I  do, 
you  should  not  walk  in  the  snow.' 
That  drover  was,  in  the  best  sense  of 
the  terra,  a  gentleman,  while  many  a 
yi/ung  man,   in  Washington  street  or 


ll 


THE   YOUNG   MAN.  ll^ 

Broadway,  with  gloves,  and  cane,  and 
graceful  step,  is  a  brute. 

The  man,  who  lays  aside  all  selfish- 
ness, in  regard  to  the  happiness  of  oth- 
ers, who  is  ever  ready  to  confer  favors, 
who  speaks  in  language  of  kindness 
and  conciliation,  and  who  studies  to 
manifest  those  little  attentions  which 
gratify  the  heart,  is  a  polite  man, 
though  he  may  wear  a  homespun 
coat,  and  make  a  very  ungraceful  bow. 
And  many  a  fashionable,  who  dresses 
genteelly,  and  enters  the  most  crowded 
apartments  with  assurance  and  ease,  is 
a  perfect  compound  of  rudeness  and 
incivility.  True  politeness  is  a  virtue 
3f  the  understanding  and  of  the  heart. 
It  is  not  hke  the  whited  sepulchre,  or 
ike  Sodom's  far-famed  fruit.  There 
ire  no  rules  for  the  exercise  of  this  vir- 
ue,  more  correct  and  definite  than  those 
aid  down  in  the  New  Testament. 
There  is  no  book  of  politeness  coinpar- 
ble  with  the  Bible, 


120  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


SINGULARITY. 


A  MAN  should  make  it  a  point  to  avoid 
singularity  of  manner.  Unconscious 
eccentricity  is  a  defect  which  every  one 
should  labor  to  overcome  ;  and  every 
voluntary  attempt  to  deviate  from  the 
usual  manner  of  doing^ordinary  acts,  is 
a  foible  unworthy  of  a  man  of  sense. 
In  conduct  and  in  speech,  the  rule  of 
good  sense,  says  Lord  Brougham,  is  to 
do  common  things  in  the  common 
way.  This  is  true  in  those  numberless 
instances,  in  which  no  moral  principle 
is  involved.  But  on  the  other  hand, 
there  can  be  no  greater  instance  of  a 
weak  and  pusillanimous  temper,  than 
for  a  man  to  pass  the  whole  of  his  life 
in  opposition  to  his  own  conscience 
and  understanding,  and  not  dare  to  be 
what  he  thinks  he  ought  to  be  in  the 
order  of  nature.     Singularity  is  alwajrs 


THE     YOUNG   MAN.  121 

lauflable  when,  in  contratljstinction  to 
the  multitiKle,  it  adheres  to  the  dictntes 
of  honor,  conscience,  and  jnoiahty  ; 
and  is  vicious  when  it  makes  men  act 
contrary  to  reason,  or  pots  then)  upon 
distinguishing  themselves  by  trifles  and 
foUies.  For  ii  stance,  it  is  vicious,  in  a 
modest  young  gentleman  who  has  not 
confidence  to  refuse  his  glass  at  an  en- 
teitainment;  it  is  vicious,  in  any  one 
that  is  afraid  to  refuse  an  invitation 
to  a  tavern  to  dinner,  to  go  to  any  im- 
proper place,  or  to  commit  any  extrav- 
agance proposed  ;  and  this  under  fear 
of  being  thought  covetous,  to  have  tio 
money,  or  to  be  under  the  control  of 
his  parents  or  friends,  when  in  fact 
his  pride  should  be  in  the  fiee  exeicise 
of  his  understanding,  and  in  daring  to 
declaie  his  real  sentiments  on  the  occa- 
Bion.  Never  suffer  yourself  to  bo 
tempted  by  the  bad  example  of  other 
young  men,  nor  to  be  laughed  out  of 
what  your  judgment  tells  you  is  right. 
I 


13»  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

Resolution  is  the  foundation  of  every 
virtae  ;  without  it  there  is  none  ;  even 
those  who  may  presume  to  ridicule  or 
laugh  at  you  at  first,  will  soon  treat 
you  with  greater  respect  than  they  do 
each  other,  when  they  perceive  that 
your  conduct  is  always  uniform,  steady, 
and  firm.  Rest  assured,  that  you  will 
be  respected  by  others,  when  they 
find  that  you  respect  yourself  Let 
a  good  resolution,  therefore,  be  your 
rule  of  conduct. 


FURTHER  HINTS  ON  MANNERS. 

It  may  not  be  useless  to  some  of  our 
younger  readers  to  particularize  a  few 
instances,  in  which  they  are  liable, 
through  carelessness,  or  from  early 
disadvantages  to  violate  the  principles 
of  good  manners. 

If  in  company  with  an  inferior,  do 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  123 

not  let  him  feel  his  inferiority  ;  if  he 
discover  it  himself,  without  your  en- 
deavors, the  fault  is  not  yours,  and  he 
will  not  blame  you  :  but  if  you  take 
pains  to  mortify  him,  or  to  make  him 
feel  himself  inferior  to  you  in  abilities, 
fortune,  or  rank,  it  is  an  insult  to  him. 
In  point  of  abilities,  it  would  be  unjust, 
if  they  are  out  of  his  power  ;  in  rank 
or  fortune,  it  is  ill-natured  and  ill- 
bred.  We  should  rather  treat  such  a 
person  with  additional  respect,  lest  he 
should  suppose  himself  neglected. 

Never  indulge  the  idle  inclination 
to  laugh  at,  or  ridicule  the  weaknesses 
or  infirmities  of  others,  by  way  of  di- 
verting the  company,  or  displaying 
your  own  superiority.  Most  people 
have  their  weaknesses  ;  some  cannot 
bear  the  sight  of  a  cat,  others  the  smell 
of  cheese,  and  so  on  ;  were  you  to 
laugh  at  these  persons  for  their  antip- 
athies, or,  by  design  or  inattention,  to 
bring  them  in  their  w^ay,  you  could  not 
insult  thera  more. 


124  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

Whispering  in  company  is  another 
act  of  ill-manners  ;  it  seems  to  insinu- 
ate eitiier  that  the  persons  whom  we  do 
not  wish  to  hear  are  unworthy  of  our 
confidence,  or  it  may  lead  them  to  sup- 
pose that  we  are  speaking  improperly 
of  them.  On  both  accounts  therefore 
abstain  from  it. 

Pulling  out  one  letter  after  another, 
and  reading  them  in  company,  or  cut- 
ting and  paring  one's  nails,  is  unpolite 
and  rude.  It  seems  to  say,  we  are 
weary  of  the  conversation,  and  are  in 
want  of  some  amusement  to  pass  away 
the  time. 

Humming  a  tune  to  ourselves,  drum- 
ming with  our  fingers  on  the  table, 
making  a  noise  with  our  feet,  and  such 
like,  are  all  breaches  of  good  manners, 
and  indications  of  contempt  for  the  per- 
sons present. 

Romping,  loud  and  frequent  laugh- 
ing, punning,  joking,  mimickry,  wag- 
gery, and  too  great  familiarity,  will 
render  any  man  cidntemptible-,  in  spits 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  125 

of  knowledge  or  merit.  These  may 
constitute  a  merry  fellow,  but  a  merry 
fellow  was  never  considered  a  gen- 
tleman. 

Mimickry,  the  favorite  amusement 
of  weak  minds^  has  ever  been  the  con- 
tempt of  noble  ones.  Never  give  way 
to  it  yourself,  nor  encourage  it  in 
others. 

An  absent-minded  man  is  generally 
a  very  affected  one,  or  a  very  weak 
one  ;  but,  whether  weak  or  affected, 
he  is  in  company  a  very  disagreeable 
man.  x\bsence  of  mind  is  a  tacit  dec- 
laration that  those  we  are  in  company 
with  are  not  worth  attending  to,  and 
what  is  a  greater  affront  ?  Besides, 
can  an  absent  man  improve  by  what 
is  said  or  done  in  his  presence  ?  A 
man  is  fit  for  neither  business  nor  con- 
versation, unless  he  can  attend  to  the 
object  before  him. 

It  is  inconsistent  with  good  manners, 
w^hen  another  person  is  speaking,  that 
you  should  contrive,  either  by  showing 


126  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

something  new,  or  by  calling  the  at- 
tention of  the  company  another  way, 
to  make  him  neglected  and  forsa- 
ken by  his  audience. 

You  should  not  carry  to  your  toilet 
all  the  mental  absence  of  Sir  Hum- 
phrey Davy.  It  is  related  by  his  biog- 
rapher, that  this  distinguished  philos- 
opher would  often  appear  before  his 
class,  with  no  less  than  seven  shirts  on, 
and  as  many  pairs  of  stockings  ;  an 
accumulation  effected  by  simply  vio- 
lating the  rule  of  the  old  song, 

"  'Tis  well  to  be  oflf  with  the  old— shirt, 
Before  we  have  on  with  the  new." 

His  friends  were  constantly  called  upon 
to  wonder  at  the  extraordinary  varia- 
tions which  his  bulk  was  undergoing  : 
his  limbs  being  at  one  time  extremely 
thin,  and  at  another  time  vieing  with 
the  proportions  of  Daniel  Lambert. 

If  a  lady  is  going  to  her  carriage,  or 
in  any  public  place  where  it  is  usual, 
or  would  be  convenient  for  ladies  to  be 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  127 

attendetl,  you  should  offer  her  your  arm 
and  service,  even  if  you  do  not  know 
her.  When  a  waiter  of  coffee  or  pre- 
serves is  handed  to  a  lady,  she  should 
help  herself,  and  geritlemen  standing 
by  should  permit  her  to  do  so,  and 
should  abstain  from  interference.  It 
was  once  deemed  proper  for  gentle- 
men to  save  ladies  this  trouble,  by  put- 
ting sugar  and  cream  in  their  coffee  for 
them  ;  but  it  is  now  clearly  under- 
stood that  the  effort  of  a  lady  helping 
herself,  in  fact  amounts  to  nothing,  and 
by  doing  so,  she  can  gratify  her  own 
taste  ai  d  choice  much  better  than  when 
another  serves  her.  and  at  the  same 
time  that  quietness  and  ease  of  action, 
which  is  the  best  characteristic  of  so- 
ciety, is  attained  in  a  much  higher 
degree. 

If  two  persons  are  conversing  to- 
gether in  a  large  company,  it  would 
be  rudeness  in  another  person  to  go  up 
and  interrupt  them  by  introducing  a 
new  topic  of  observation.     If   you  are 


128  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

sure  that  there  is  nothing  of  a  particu- 
lar and  private  interest  passing  be- 
tween them,  you  may  join  in  their  con- 
versation, and  strike  into  the  current 
of  their  remarks.  If,  however,  two 
persons  are  occupied  with  one  another 
upon  terms  peculiarly  delicate  and  par- 
ticular, you  should  entirely  withdraw 
yourself  flom  their  company.  If  you 
are  talking  to  a  lady  with  the  ordina- 
ry indifference  of  a  common  acqu;n"n- 
tancp,  and  are  only  waiting  till  some 
one  else  comes  up,  for  an  of)port unity 
to  leave  her,  you  should  not  leave  the 
instant  another  arrives,  as  if  your  pre- 
vious lairying  had  been  compulsory  ; 
but  you  should  remain  a  few  nioments, 
and  then  turn  away. 

If  you  meet  in  company  with  per- 
sons you  do  not  know,  and  are  brought 
in  contact  with  them,  converse  vvitli, 
them  with  the  same  readiness  and  ease 
as  if  you  had  known  them  before.  If, 
in  talking  with  one  whom  you  are  ac- 
quainted with,  there  are  others  in  the 


THE    yOUNO    MAN.  129 

group  whom  yon  do  not  know,  you 
should  address  them  precisely  on  the 
same  terms  on  which  you  speak  to  your 
friend.  On  such  an  occasion,  the  topics 
should  be  as  impersonal  as  possible, 
but  the  manner  should  be  wholly  free 
from  shyness  or  embanassment. 

At  an  evening  party,  a  gentleman 
should  abstain  from  conversing  much 
with  the  members  of  the  family,  at 
whose  house  the  company  are  assem- 
bled, as  they  wish  to  be  occupied  with 
entertaining  their  other  guests,  A 
well-bred  man  will  do  all  that  he  can 
to  assist  the  lady  of  the  house  to  ren- 
der the  evening  pleasant  to  her  compa- 
ny. He  wdl  avoid  talking  much  to 
the  men,  and  will  devote  himself  more 
to  the  women,  and  especially  to  those 
who  are  not  much  attended  to  by 
others.  He  will  exett  himself  to  enter- 
tain the  company  as  much  as  possible, 
and  to  give  aniniation  and  interest  to 
the  occasion.  Such  efforts  are  always 
observed  and  appreciated   by  the  hos- 


130  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

tess,  while  an  opposite  conduct  rare- 
ly fnils  to  excite  something  like  resent- 
ment. 

There  is  a  fault  often  committed  in 
company,  yet,  perhaps  in  all  cases,  ari- 
sing from  thoughtlessness,  rather  than 
from  rudeness, — that  of  remarking  to 
the  hostess  that  the  room  is  very  warm, 
or  that  the  weather  is  so  bad  as  to 
render  the  ride  to  her  house  extremely 
unpleasant.  Such  remarks,  it  is  true, 
may  convey  no  direct  reproach  upon 
her,  because  the  matters  are  beyond 
her  control,  or  against  her  inclination  ; 
yet  they  make  her  feel  uncomfortable, 
for  having  been  the  occasion  of  the  suf- 
fering complained  of,  and  she  will  al- 
ways be  obliged  to  apologize  or  express 
her  regret.  It  is  in  bad  taste  for  the 
hostess,  likewise,  to  talk  about  such 
things,  and  to  anticipate  observation, 
by  excuses  and  regrets. 

I  do  not  know  any  small  matter 
which  is  more  often  the  source  of  an- 
noyance, though  kindly  intended,  than 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  131 

the  habit  of  sending  books  to  people  to 
read,  because  the  lender  thinks  that 
the  other  will  be  entertained.  It  com- 
pels persons  to  read  what  they  may  not 
have  leisure  or  inclination  to  do,  and  to 
prepare  an  opinion  which  they  may 
find  it  ditficull  or  unpleasant  to  express, 
and  it  throws  upon  them  the  duty  of 
taking  care  of  the  work.  When  hooks 
are  spoken  of,  theiefore,  it  is  more  re- 
fined not  to  make  an  otfer  of  lending 
them.  At  all  events,  you  should  never 
press  their  acceptance,  or  send  them, 
unless  your  offer  is  accepted  readily 
and  willingly. 

If  a  person  in  conversation  has  be- 
gun to  say  something,  and  has  check- 
ed himself,  you  should  avoid  the  tactless 
error,  so  often  committed,  of  insisting 
on  hearing  him  ;  as  doubtless  there 
was  some  reason  for  this  change  of  in- 
tention. 

If  you  are  giving  a  person  sugar 
upon  a  plate  of  fruit,  as  strawberries, 
pine-apples,  or  such  matters,  you  should 


132  THE    YODNG    MAN. 

not  scatter  it  over  the  article  to  which 
it  is  to  he  ackled,  hut  should  place  it  by 
the  side  of  the  plate  by  itself,  which 
will  enable  the  person  to  use  as  much 
as  may  be  desirable. 

In  company,  you  should  never  tilt 
your  chair  back  upon  its  hind  feet  ;  es- 
pecially not  at  the  table. 

When  you  call  to  see  a  person,  and 
are  informed  at  the  door  tliat  he  is 
engaged,  you  should  never  persist  in 
your  attem|)t  to  be  admitted,  but  should 
acquiesce  at  once  in  that  arrangement 
which  the  other  has  made  for  his  con- 
venience, to  protect  himself  from  in- 
terruption. 

There  are  many  times  and  seasons 
at  which  a  person  chooses  to  be  entire- 
ly alone,  and  when  there  is  no  friend- 
ship for  which  he  would  give  up  his 
occupation  or  his  solitude.  It  is  now 
usual  for  those,  who  do  not  wish  to  see 
company,  to  send  word  that  "  they  are 
engaged"  ;  formerly,  that  message 
would  have  given  ofience,  but  it  is  now 


THE   YOUNG   MAN. 


133 


so  cnstomary  that  every  one  under- 
stands it.  A  traditionary  anecdote  of 
Scipio  Nasica  seems  to  bring  the  say- 
ing of  ••  not  at  home"  to  a  nan  pVis. 
He  one  day  called  on  Ennius,  the  poet, 
who,  though  at  home,  was  denied  by 
his  servants.  Soon  after,  Ennius  re- 
turned the  visit,  and  Scipio  himself 
coming  to  the  door  told  him  that  he 
was  not  at  home.  "  Nay !"  said  Ennius 
gravely,  "  I  know  that  you  are,  I  hear 
your  voice."  "  You  are  a  fine  fellow 
indeed,"  reph'ed  Scipio  ;  "  when  I  cal- 
led on  you,  the  other  day,  I  beheved 
the  maid,  who  told  me  you  were  not 
at  home,  and  now  you  will  not  believe 
me.  although  you  hear  my  own  voice 
affirming  it." 

Were  we  to  take  as  much  pains  to 
be  what  we  ought,  as  we  do  to 
disguise  what  we  are,  we  might  ap- 
pear like  ourselves,  without  being  at 
the  trouble  of  any  disguise  at  all. 


134  THE    YOUNG    MAN.. 


CONVERSATION. 


This  is  known  and  admitted  to  be  one 
of  the  most  important  of  all  attain- 
ments ;  and  perhaps  nothing  is  more 
desired  by  all  intelligent  young  per- 
sons, who  reflect  at  all  upon  their 
means  of  influence  and  improvement 
than  conversational  power.  But,  not- 
withstanding this  general  impression  in 
its  favor,  there  is  nothing  of  half  its 
importance  which  is  so  entirely  neglec- 
ted in  education.  And  there  is,  it 
must  be  acknowledged,  a  great  diffi- 
culty in  the  subject. 

To  acquiie  the  art  of  conversation 
we  would  recommend  that  you  should 
practise  conversation  systematically  and 
constantly,  but  that  you  should  have 
some  other  object  than  improvement 
in  your  manner  of  expressing  yourself 
mainly  in  view.     You  will  become  in- 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  135 

terested  in  these  objects,  and  conse- 
quently interested  in  the  conveisation 
which  you  make  use  of  as  a  means  of 
promoting  them  ;  and  by  not  having 
your  own  manner  diiectly  in  view,  the 
danger  of  that  stiffness,  and  precision 
and  affectation,  which  is  so  conmion  a 
resuU  of  efforts  to  improve  in  sucii  an 
art  as  this,  will  be  escaped.  We  will 
mention  one  or  two  of  these  objects. 

Make  conversation  a  means  of  ac- 
quiring knowledge.  Every  person, 
with  whom  you  are  thrown  into  cas- 
ual connection,  has  undoubtedly  some 
knowledge  which  would  be  useful  or 
valuable  to  you.  You  are  riding  in 
the  stage,  I  will  suppose,  and  the 
rouiih-looking  man  who  sits  by  your 
side  appears  so  unattractive,  that  you 
do  not  suppose  he  has  anything  to  say 
which  can  interest  you.  But  speak  to 
him — draw  him  into  conversation,  and 
you  will  find  that  he  is  a  sea-captain, 
who  has  visited  a  hundred  ports,  and 
cau  tell  you  many   interesting  stories 


136  THE   YOUXG   MAN. 

about  every  clime.  He  will  like  to 
talk,  if  he  finds  you  are  interested  to 
hear,  and  you  may  rrjake,  by  his  assis- 
tance, a  more  important  progress  in 
really  useful  knowledge,  during  that 
day's  ride,  than  by  the  study  of  the 
best  lesson  from  a  book,  that  was  ever 
learned.  Avail  yourself,  in  this  way, 
of  every  opportunity  which  may  be 
placed  within  your  reach. 

You  may  do  much  to  anticipate 
and  to  prepare  for  conversation.  You 
expect,  I  will  suppose,  to  be  thrown  into 
the  company  of  a  gentleman  residing 
in  a  distant  city.  You  will  get  some 
hints  in  regard  to  its  public  institutions, 
its  situations,  its  business,  and  its  ob- 
jects of  interest  of  every  kind.  Now 
you  cannot  read  the  brief  notices  of  this 
sort  which  common  books  can  furnish, 
w^ithout  having  your  curiosity  excited, 
in  regard  to  some  points  at  least,  and 
you  will  go  into  the  company  of  the 
stranger,  not  dreading  his  presence' and 
shrinking  fixim  the  nece^ty  of  corivw- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  137 

sation,  but  eager  to  avail  yourself  of 
the  opportunity  of  gratifying  your  cu- 
riosity, and  learning  something  full  and 
satisfactory  from  an  eye-witness  of  the 
scenes  which  the  book  had  so  briefly 
described.  By  this  means,  too,  the 
knowledge  of  books  and  of  conversa- 
tion— of  study  and  of  real  life — will 
be  brought  together  ;  and  this  is  a  most 
important  object  for  you  to  secure.  It 
will  give  vividness  and  an  air  of  real- 
ity to  written  description,  if  you  can 
frequently,  after  reading  the  descrip- 
tion, have  an  opportunity  to  converse 
with  one  who  has  seen  the  object  or 
the  scene  described. 

You  may  make  a  more  general  pre- 
paration for  the  opportunities  for  con- 
versation which  you  will  enjoy.  Con- 
sider what  places  and  what  scenes 
those  with  whom  you  may  be  casually 
thrown  into  connection,  will  most  fre- 
quently have  visited,  and  make  your- 
self as  much  acquainted  with  them  as 

K 


138  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

possible  ;  you  can  then  converse  about 
them.  Ascertain,  too,  what  are  the 
common  topics  of  conversation  in  the 
place  in  which  you  reside,  and  learn, 
by  reading  or  by  inquiry,  all  you  can 
about  them  ;  so  that  you  can  be  pre- 
pared to  understand  fully  what  you 
hear,  and  make  your  own  inquiries  ad- 
vantageously, and  thus  be  prepared  to 
engage  intelligently  and  with  good  ef- 
fect, in  the  conversation  in  which  you 
may  have  an  opportunity  to  join. 

On  the  same  principle,  it  will  be  well 
for  you,  when  you  meet  with  any  diffi- 
culty in  your  reading,  or  when,  in  pri- 
vate meditations,  any  inquiries  arise  in 
your  minds  which  you  cannot  your- 
selves satisfactorily  answer,  not  to  dis- 
miss them  from  your  minds  as  difficul- 
ties which  must  remain  because  you 
cannot  yourselves  remove  them.  Con- 
sider Avho  of  your  acquaintances  will 
be  most  probably  able  to  assist  you  in 
regard  to  each.  One  may  be  a  philo- 
sophical question,    another  a  point  of 


The  young  .man.  139 

general  literature,  and  a  third  may  be 
a  question  of  christian  duty.  By  a 
moment's  reflection,  you  will  easily  de- 
termine to  whom  each  ought  to  be  re- 
ferred ;  and,  when  the  next  opportu- 
'  ity  occurs,  you  can  refer  them,  and 
_ive  yourself  and  your  triend  equal 
pleasure,  by  the  conversation  you  will 
thus  introduce. 

Conversation  aflbrds  one  of  the  most 
important  means  of  digesting  what 
is  read  and  heard.  In  fact  you  can- 
not talk  about  what  you  learn  without 
digesting  it.  Sometimes  two  persons 
read  together,  aloud,  by  turns  ;  each 
one  freely  remarking  upon  what  is 
heard,  making  inquiries,  or  bringing 
forward  additional  facts  or  illustrations 
connected  with  the  subject.  Some- 
times two  persons,  reading  separately, 
come  afterward  together  for  a  walk, 
and  each  one  describes  his  own  book, 
and  relates  the  substance  of  what  it 
contains,  as  far  as  he  has  read,  bring- 
ing down  at   each  successive  meeting 


140  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

the  narrative  of  the  description,  as  far 
as  the  reader  has  gone.  By  this 
means,  eacli  acquires  the  power  of  lan- 
guage and  expression,  digests  and  fixes 
what  he  has  read,  and  also  gives  in- 
formation to  his  companion.  If  any 
two  of  my  readers  will  try  this  experi- 
ment, they  will  find  much  pleasure  and 
improvement  from  it. 


EGOTISIVl. 


Upon  all  occasions,  avoid  speaking  of 
yourself,  if  it  be  possible.  Some  speak- 
advantageously  of  themselves  without 
either  pretence  or  provocation.  This  is 
downright  impudence.  Others  proceed 
more  artfully,  as  they  imagine ;  forming 
accusations  against  themselves,  and 
complaining  of  calumnies  which  they 
never  heard,  in  order  to  justify  them- 
selves and   exhibit  a  catalogue  of  their 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  141 

many  virtues.  This  thin  veil  of  mod- 
esty, drawn  before  vanity,  is  much  too 
transparent  to  conceal  it,  even  from 
those  who  have  but  a  moderate  share 
of  penetration. 

Others  go  to  work  more  modestly 
and  slily  still ;  they  confess  themselves 
guilty  of  all  the  cardinal  virtues,  by 
first  degrading  them  into  weaknesses, 
and  then  acknowledging  their  misfortune 
in  being  made  up  of  those  weaknesses. 
'■  They  cannot  see  people  laboring 
under  misfortunes,  without  sympathi- 
zing with  and  endeavoring  to  help 
them.  They  cannot  see  their  fellow- 
creatures  in  distress,  without  relieving 
them  ;  though,  truly,  their  circumstan- 
ces cannot  very  well  afford  it.  They 
cannot  avoid  speaking  the  truth,  though 
they  acknowledge  it  to  be  sometimes 
imprudent.  In  short,  they  confess  that, 
with  all  their  weaknesses,  they  are  not 
fit  to  live  in  the  world,  much  less  to 
prosper  in  it.  But  they  are  now  too 
old  to  pursue  a  contrary  conduct." 


142  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

This  principle  of  vanity  and  pride  is 
so  strong  in  human  nature,  that  it  man- 
ifests itself  in  a  variety  of  shapes  :  One 
man  will  pride  himself  in  taking  the 
lead  in  all  conversations,  and  peremp- 
torily deciding  upon  every  subject. 
Another,  desirous  of  appearing  success- 
ful among  women,  will  insinuate  the 
encouragement  he  has  met  v/ith,  and 
the  conquests  he  makes,  and  boasts  of 
favors  which  be  never  received.  If  he 
speak  truth,  he  is  ungenerous  ;  if  false, 
he  is  a  villain  ;  but,  whether  true  or 
false,  he  defeats  his  own  purposes,  over- 
throws the  reputation  he  wishes  to  erect, 
and  draws  upon  himself  contempt,  in- 
stead of  respect.  Some  men  will  boast 
of  the  great  respect  that  is  paid  them 
upon  all  occasions,  and  the  number  of 
invitations  that  is  sent  them  from  all 
quarters.  Such  will  disturb  a  whole  com- 
pany at  their  entrance,  and  beg  there 
may  be  no  ceremony  ;  call  themselves 
the  saddest  fellows  for  disappointing  so 
many  places  to  which  they  have  been 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  143 

invited,  and  tell  you,  that,  out  of  ten  in- 
vitations which  they  had  received  for 
dinners,  (though  perhaps  they  had  re- 
ceived no  other)  they  have  given  yours 
the  preference.  Some  again  are  vain 
enough  to  think  they  acquire  conse- 
quence by  alliance  or  acquaintance 
with  persons  of  distinguished  charac- 
ter or  abilities  ;  hence  they  are  eternal- 
ly talking  of  their  grandfather,  Judge 
such-a-one  ;  their  kinsman,  Col.  such- 
a-one ;  or  their  intimate  friend,  Dr. 
such-a-one,  with  whom  perhaps  they 
are  scarcely  acquainted.  If  they 
are  ever  found  out,  (and  that  they 
are  sure  to  be  some  time  or  other,) 
they  appear  ridiculous  and  contempti- 
ble ;  but,  even  admitting  what  they 
say  is  true,  what  then  ?  A  man's  in- 
trinsic merit  does  not  arise  from  an  en- 
nobled alliance,  or  a  reputable  acquain- 
tance.    A  rich  man  never  borrows. 

The  vanity  of  intimating  that  others 
value  you  highly,  or  esteem  you  affec- 
tionately, is  extremely  paltry  and  ab- 


144  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

surd.  To  let  it  be  known  that  a  dis- 
tinguished man  asked  their  opinion  on 
a  certain  point,  or  expressed  such  an 
opinion  as  to  their  character  or  abihties, 
is  a  favorite  mode  of  self-puffing  with 
some.  But  as  everybody  sees  that  they 
themselves  pull  the  puppets  which  thus 
pay  them  homage,  it  generally  goes  for 
nothing.  A  fanatic  in  Germany  once 
went  to  the  expense  of  having  a  plate 
engraved,  in  which  he  was  represented 
kneeling  before  a  crucifix,  with  a  label 
from  his  mouth,  "  Lord  Jesus,  do  you 
love  me  ?"  And  from  the  month  of 
Jesus  proceeded  another  label,  "  Yes, 
most  illustrious,  most  excellent,  and  most 
learned  Sigerus,  crowned  poet  of  his 
Imperial  Majesty,  and  most  worthy 
rector  of  the  University  of  Wittenburg, 
yes,  I  love  you." 


THE    YOCXG    MAN.  145 


FURTHER  HINTS  ON  CONVERSATION. 

Avoid  opposition  and  argument  in  con- 
versation. What  would  be  thought  of 
the  courtesy  ot'  the  person,  who  should 
say  to  one  who  had  just  made  a  re- 
mark, '"  Now,  sir,  I  will  show  you  that 
you  are  a  fool,  and  that  the  observa- 
tion that  you  have  uttered  is  non- 
sense ?"  Yet  that  is  the  amount  of 
attacking  what  another  has  said,  and 
applying  yourself  to  confute  it.  If  your 
companion  has  been  so  ill-bred  as  to  as- 
sail your  remark  directly,  you  should 
not  defend  it,  but  receive  his  assault 
in  silence,  and  presently  pass  on  to 
something  else.  Of  course,  this  does 
not  apply  to  a  case,  where  two  friends 
apart  are  discussing  a  subject  for  the 
truth's  sake. 

The    minute     circumstantiality    of 
those  narrators,  who  exhibit  every  par- 


146  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

ticular  of  an  event  with  the  truth  and 
tastelessness  of  aChinese  representation, 
is  excessively  annoying.  The  audi- 
ence is  eager  to  reach  the  point  of  the 
story,  and  the  details,  that  keep  them 
back,  are  uninteresting. 

Some  persons  have  an  awkward 
habit  of  repeating  the  most  striking 
parts  of  a  story,  especially  the  main 
point,  if  it  has  taken  well  the  first  time. 
This  is  in  very  bad  taste ;  in  most  cases, 
the  story  pleased  the  first  time  only  be- 
cause it  was  unexpected. 

When  you  are  in  one  company,  you 
should  avoid  exclusive  panegyrics  of 
others,  or  eulogies  of  the  pleasantness 
of  other  places,  times,  or  people.  That 
always  imphes  some  contempt  or  dishke 
of  those  you  are  with  ;  and  is  apt  to 
give  offence. 

Whatever  may  be  your  company, 
always  talk  your  best,  and  endeavor  as 
far  as  is  in  your  power  to  conciliate 
those  who  are  near  you.  Dr.  Johnson, 
who  was   admitted    to   have  been  for 


V  THE    YOUNG    MAX.  147 


years  the  best  talker  in  England,  said 
that  he  had  obtained  his  proficiency  by 
resolving  in  early  life  always  to  speak 
in  the  most  correct  and  elegant  form  of 
words  which  he  could  construct,  and 
never  to  utter  anything  in  a  negligent 
or  slovenly  style. 

Do  not  value  the  good  opinion  of 
those  around  you  too  highly.  Much 
of  the  awkwardness  and  nervousness 
of  young  persons,  and  many  of  their 
fiiilures  proceed  from  their  feeling  too 
high  a  respect  for  others,  and  too  much 
deference  for  their  presence.  Exhibit 
respect  to  others,  but  fear  no  man.  Ac- 
custom yourselves  to  scrutinize  and  con- 
fute the  opinions  of  others,  in  order  that 
you  may  have  confidence  when  you 
are  with  them. 

The  interjection  of  such  phrases  as, 
'•  You  know,"  '"  You  see,"  '"  Don't 
you  see  ?"  "  Do  you  understand  ?" 
and  similar  ones,  that  stimulate  the  at- 
tention and  demand  an  answer,  ought 
to  be  avoided.       Make  your   observa- 


148  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

tions  in  a  calm  and  sedate  way,  which 
your  companion  may  attend  to,  or  not, 
as  he  pleases,  and  let  them  go  for  what 
they  are  worth. 

Talk  frequently,  but  not  long  to- 
gether, lest  you  tire  the  persons  you 
are  speaking  to  :  for  few  persons  talk  so 
well  upon  a  subject  as  to  keep  up  the 
attention  of  their  hearers  for  any  length 
of  time.  Discourse  in  general  ought 
to  be  modest  and  humble  ;  as  full  of 
matter  and  substance  as  you  will,  but 
always  delivered  with  respect  and  def- 
erence to  the  company. 

Avoid  teUing  stories  in  company,  un- 
less they  are  very  short  indeed,  and 
very  applicable  to  the  subject  you  are 
upon  ;  and  in  this  case  relate  thein  in 
as  few  words  as  possible,  and  without 
the  least  digression.  And,  if  your  sto- 
ry has  any  wit  in  it,  be  particularly 
careful  not  to  laugh  at  it  yourself;  it 
loses  half  its  zest  by  so  doing. 

In  relating  anything,  keep  clear  of 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  149 

repetitions,  or  any  hacknej^ed  expres- 
sions, as,  says  he,  or  says  she. 

Digressions,  likewise,  should  be  guar- 
ded against.  A  story  is  always  more 
agreeable  without  them.  Of  this  kind 
are,  •'  The  gentleman  I  am  telling  you 
of  is  the  son  of  Mr.  Thomas — who 
lives  in  Harley  street  ;  you  must  know 
him — his  brother  has  a  horse  that  won 
at  the  races."  Or,  "  He  was  an  up- 
right, tall,  old  gentleman,  who  wore 
long  hair ;  do  not  you  recollect  him  ?" 

There  are  others,  equally  trouble- 
some, who  will  interrupt  the  story-tel- 
ler, and  labor  to  raise  an  argument  of 
DO  consequence  whatever  :  as,  if  he 
says,  '•  I  met  Mr.  Such-a-one,  this 
morning  at  nine  o'clock,  near  St. 
James',  and  he  was  saying" — the  in- 
terrupter will  cry,  "  I  must  beg  your 
pardon,  ^v,  for  that  ;  unwilling  as  I 
am  to  interrupt  you.  I  must  tell  you, 
it  must  have  been  after  nine,  for  I  saw 
him  at  St.Paul's  at  that  time." 

Some  persons  have  a  trick  of  hold- 


150  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

ing  the  persons  they  are  speaking  to  by 
the  button,  or  the  hand,  in  order  to  be 
heard  out  ;  conscious,  probably,  that 
their  tale  is  tiresome.  Pra}',  never 
do  this  :  if  the  person  you  speak  to,  is 
hot  as  willing  to  hear  your  story  as  you 
are  to  tell  it,  you  had  much  better 
break  off  in  the  middle  ;  for,  if  you  tire 
him  once,  he  will  be  afraid  to  listen  to 
you  a  second  time. 

Others  have  a  way  of  punching  the 
person  they  are  talking  to  in  the  side, 
or  jogging  him  with  their  elbow  ;  nev- 
er give  way  to  this  ;  it  will  make  your 
company  dreaded. 

It  is  inexcusable  to  help  out  or  fore- 
stall the  slow  speaker,  as  if  you  alone 
were  rich  in  expressions,  and  he  were 
poor.  You  may  take  it  for  granted 
that  every  one  is  vain  enough  to  think 
he  can  talk  well,  though  be  may  mod- 
estly deny  it  :  helping  a  person  out 
therefore  in  his  expressions,  will  stamp 
the  corrector  with  ill  manners,  except- 
ing in  cases  where  the  speaker  is  evi- 


THE     YOUNG    MAN.  151 

dently  embarrassed,  when  it  may  be  an 
act  of  kindness. 

Giving  advice  unasked  is  another 
piece  of  rudeness  ;  it  is  in  fact  declar- 
ing ourselves  wiser  than  those  to  whom 
we  give  it  ;  reproaching  them  with 
ignorance  and  inexperience. 

There  is  nothing  more  unpardonably 
rude  than  seeming  inattention  to  the 
person  who  is  speaking  to  you  :  though 
you  may  meet  with  it  in  others,  by  all 
means  avoid  it  yourself.  Some  ill-bred 
people,  while  others  are  speaking  to 
them,  will,  instead  of  looking  at  or  at- 
tending to  them,  perhaps  fix  their  eyes 
on  the  ceiling  or  some  picture  in  the 
room,  look  out  of  the  window,  play 
with  a  dog,  their  watch-chain,  or  cane, 
or  even  pick  their  nails  ;  this  is  a  tacit 
declaration  that  what  is  said  is  not  wor- 
thy of  attention. 

Carefully  avoid  mentioning  or  re- 
viving any  circumstance  or  expression 
that  may  renew  the  affliction  of  any 
one  present,  or  bring  disagreeable  sub- 


152  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

jects  to  their  remembrance.  How  dis- 
tressing would  it  be  to  say  to  an  af- 
flicted parent,  "  Such  a  thing  hajipen- 
ed  the  day  after  your  son  was  buried !" 
How  mortitying  to  cry  out,  "  Bless  me, 
how  ill  you  look  to-day  !"  How  rude 
to  observe  to  a  ladj',  who  would  be 
thought  young,  "  What  a  long  time 
it  was  since  you  had  the  honor  first 
to  know  her."  Politeness  would  lead 
us  to  put  every  one  in  good-humor.  In 
short,  to  speak  of  entertainments  be- 
fore the  indigent,  of  sound  limbs  and 
health  before  the  infirm,  of  houses  and 
lands  before  one  who  has  not  so  much 
as  a  dwelling,  of  your  prosperity  before 
the  miserable,  is  not  only  unpolite,  but 
cruel  ;  and  the  comparison  it  gives 
rise  to,  between  your  condition  and  that 
of  the  person  you  speak  to  is  excrucia- 
ting. He  also  offends  against  po- 
liteness, who  praises  another's  singing 
or  touching  an  instrument,  before  such 
as  he  has  obliged  to  sing  or  play  for  his 
own  diversion. 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  153 

There  are  certain  expressions  which 
are  rude,  and  yet  there  are  people  of 
liberal  education  that  sometimes  use 
them  ;  as,  "  You  do  not  understand 
me  ;"  "  It  is  not  so  ;"  "  You  mistake  ;" 
"  You  know  nothing  of  the  matter  ;" 
&c.  Is  it  not  better  to  say,  "  I  believe 
I  do  not  express  myself  so  as  to  be  un- 
derstood ;"  '•  Let  us  consider  it  again, 
whether  we  take  it  right  or  not."  It 
is  much  more  polite  and  amiable  to 
make  some  excuse  for  another,  even  in 
cases  where  he  might  justly  be  bla- 
med, and  to  represent  the  mistake  as 
common  to  both  ;  rather  than  to  charge 
him  with  insensibility  or  incompre- 
hension. 

Be  careful  not  to  appear  dark  or 
mysterious,  lest  you  should  be  thought 
suspicious  ;  than  which  there  can 
scarcely  be  a  more  unamiable  char- 
acter. 

Only  one  word  as  to  swearing  ; 
those,  who  allow  themselves  in  it,  and 


154  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

interlard  their  discourse  with  oaths, 
can  never  be  considered  as  gentlemen  ; 
they  are  generally  people  of  low  edu- 
cation, and  are  unwelcome  in  good 
company.  It  is  a  vice  that  has  no 
temptation  to  plead,  but  is,  in  every 
respect,  as  vulgar  as  it  is  wicked. 

But,  above  all,  let  no  example,  no 
fashion,  no  witticism,  no  foolish  desire 
of  rising  above  what  the  unprincipled 
call  prejudices  tempt  you  to  excuse, 
extenuate,  or  ridicule,  the  least  breach 
of  morality  ;  but  on  all  occasions  show 
your  disapprobation  of  such  proceed- 
ings, and  hold  virtue  and  religion  in 
the  highest  veneration. 

Let  your  conversation  be  with  those 
by  whom  you  may  accomplish  yourself 
best  ;  for  virtue  never  rfeturns  with  so 
rich  a  cargo  as  when  it  sets  sail  from 
such  continents.  Company,  like  cli- 
mates, alters  complexions  ;  and  ill 
company,  by  a  kind  of  contagion,  in- 
sensibly infects  us  j  soft  and  tender  na- 


THE    YOCNG    MAN.  155 

tures  are  apt  to  receive  any  impres- 
sions. Alexander  learned  his  drun- 
kenness of  Leonides,  and  Nero  his  cru- 
ehy  of  his  barber. 


MARRIAGE  DESIRABLE. 

I  AM  fond,  says  an  ardent  friend  of 
youth,  of  contemplating  the  married 
state  as  a  school,  in  which,  instead  of 
educatins:  yourself  alone,  you  are  to  be 
concerned  in  improving  the  mental, 
moral,  and  social  condition  of  two  per- 
sons, and,  in  the  end,  perhaps  of  others. 
You  are  to  be  a  teacher  ;  you  cannot 
avoid  this  station  if  you  would.  But 
you  are  also  to  be  a  learner.  Dr. 
Rush  says,  we  naturally  imitate  the 
manners  and  gradually  acquire  the 
tempers  of  persons  with  whom  we  live, 
provided  they  are  the  objects  of  our 
affection    and    respect.      "  This,-'    he 


156  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

adds,  "  hag  been  observed  in  husband.^ 
and  wives,  who  have  lived  long  and 
happily  together  ;  and  even  in  ser- 
vants." And  nothing  can  be  more 
true. 

Not  only  your  temper,  and  that  of 
your  companion,  but  your  whole  char- 
acter, considered  as  physical,  mental, 
and  moral  beings,  will  be  mutually  im- 
proved or  injured  through  life.  You 
will  continue  at  a  school  of  mutual  in- 
struction, which  is  to  continue  without 
vacation  or  change  of  monitors, — per- 
haps half  a  century  ; — during  every 
one  of  the  earliest  years  of  which,  your 
character  will  be  more  really  and  more 
permanently  modified  than  in  the  same 
amount  of  time  in  any  prior  period  of 
your  education,  unless  it  were  your 
veriest  infancy.  Surely,  then,  it  is  no 
light  affair  to  make  preparation  for  a 
school  like  this.  There  is  no  period  in 
the  life  of  a  young  man  so  important ; 
for  there  is  none  on  which  his  happi- 
ness and  the  happiness  of  others  so  eg- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  157 

sentially  depend.  It  is  tme,  that,  like 
other  schools,  it  may  result  in  the  for- 
mation of  a  bad  character  ;  but,  in  pro- 
portion to  its  power  to  accomplish  ei- 
ther good  or  bad  results,  will  be  its 
value  if  wisely  improved. 

It  is  not  to  be  denied,  that  this  view 
of  the  subject  is  in  favor  of  early  mar- 
riage. And  I  can  truly  say,  indeed, 
that,  every  thing  considered,  early  mar- 
riage does  appear  to  me  highly  de- 
sirable. And  it  would  require  stronger 
arguments  than  any  which  I  have  yet 
seen  adduced,  even  by  some  of  our  po- 
litical economists,  to  make  me  surren- 
der this  opinion. 

The  only  serious  objection,  of  a  pop- 
ular kind,  to  early  marriage,  arises 
from  the  difficulty  of  supporting  a  fam- 
ily. But  the  parties  themselves  must 
be  supported  at  all  events,  whether 
married  or  single.  '  But  the  conse- 
quences'— And  what  are  the  conse- 
quences ?  An  earlier  family  indeed  ; 
but  not  of  necessity  a  larger.     I  believe 


158  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

that  facts  will  bear  me  out  in  stating, 
that  the  sum  total  of  the  progeny  of 
every  thousand  families,  who  commence 
at  from  twenty-five  to  thirty,  is  as  great 
as  that  of  one  thousand,  who  commence 
at  from  twenty  to  twenty-five. 

The  question,  however,  will  recur 
whether  families  equally  large  cannot 
be  better  maintained  when  marriage  is 
deferred  to  a  later  period.  And  it  cer- 
tainly is  a  question  of  immense  impor- 
tance. For  nothing  is  more  painful 
than  to  see  large  families  whose  pa- 
rents, whether  young  or  more  advan- 
ced, have  not  the  means  of  educating 
them  properly.  It  is  also  not  a  little 
painful  to  find  instances  of  poverty  so 
extreme  that  there  is  absolute  suffer- 
ing, from  want  of  food  and  clothing. 

But  the  question  must  be  determin- 
ed by  facts.  And  it  would  be  greatly 
aiding  the  cause  of  humanity,  if  exten- 
sive comparisons  were  made  between 
the  pecuniary  condition  of  those  who 
marry  early,  and  those  who  defer  the 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  159 

subject  to  a  later  period.  But,  from 
my  own  limited  observation,  I  am  fully 
of  opinion,  that  the  result  of  the  com- 
parison would  be  greatly  in  favor  of 
early  marriages.  Should  this  prove  to 
be  trae.  the  position  which  1  have  as- 
sumed is,  I  think,  established  ;  for  it 
appears  to  me  that  no  other  argument 
for  delay  has  any  claim  to  our  notice. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  following, 
among  other  evils,  are  the  results  of  de- 
ferring marriage. 

1.  The  temper  and  habits  of  the 
parties  become  stiff  and  unyielding 
when  advanced  in  life,  and  they  learn 
to  adapt  themselves  to  each  other  with 
difficulty.  In  the  view  which  I  have 
taken  above,  they  become  miserable  as 
teachers,  and  still  more  miserable  as 
scholars. 

2.  Youth  are  thus  exposed  to  the 
dangers  of  forming  habits  of  criminal 
indulgence,  as  fatal  to  the  health  and 
character,  as  they  are  ruinous  to  the 
soul. 


160  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

3.  Or,  if  they  proceed  not  so  far^ 
they  at  least  acquire  the  habit  of 
spending  time  in  vain,  or  pernicious 
amusements.  All  mankind  must  and 
will  seek  for  gratification  of  some  sort 
or  other.  And,  aside  from  religious 
principle,  there  is  no  certain  security 
against  those  amusements  and  indul- 
gences which  are  pernicious  and  des- 
tructive, but  early  and  virtuous  attach- 
ments, and  the  pleasures  afforded  by 
domestic  life.  He  can  never  want  for 
amusement  or  rational  gratification, 
who  is  surrounded  by  a  rising  family, 
for  whom  he  has  a  genuine  affection. 

4.  Long-continued  celibacy  con- 
tracts the  mind,  if  it  does  not  enfeeble 
it.  For  one  open-hearted,  liberal  old 
bachelor,  you  will  -find  ten  who  are 
parsimonious,  avaricious,  cold-hearted, 
and  too  often  destitute  of  those  sympa- 
thies for  their  fellow  beings,  which  mar- 
ried life  has  a  tendency  to  elicit  and 
perpetuate. 

5.  Franklin  says  that  late  marria- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  161 

ges  are  attended  with  another  inconve- 
nience, viz.  that  the  chance  of  Hving  to 
see  our  children  educated  is  greatly  di- 
minished. 

6.  But  I  go  further  than  I  have 
hitherto  done,  and  insist  that,  other 
things  being  equal,  the  young  man  has 
the  advantage  in  a  pecuniary  point  of 
view.  This  is  a  natural  result  from 
the  fact,  that  he  is  compelled  to  acquire 
habits  of  frugality  and  industry  ;  and  is 
under  less  temptation  to  waste  his 
time  in  trifling,  or  pernicious  amuse- 
ments. But  I  appeal  to  facts  ev-en 
here.  Look  around  you  in  the  world, 
and  say  if,  out  of  a  given  number  of 
single  persons,  say  one  thousand,  of  the 
age  of  thirty-five,  there  be  not  a  great- 
er number  in  poverty,  than  of  the 
same  number  who  settled  in  life  at 
twenty. 

Perhaps  I  ought  barely  to  notice  an- 
other objection  to  these  views.  It  is 
said,  that  neither  the  mind  nor  the 
body  come  to  full  maturity  so  early  as 


162  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

we  are  apt  to  suppose.  But  is  com- 
plete maturity  of  body  or  mind  indis- 
pensable ?  I  am  not  advocating  the 
practice  of  marr3ing  in  childhood.  It 
takes  some  time  for  the  affections  to- 
ward an  individual  to  ripen  and  become 
settled.  This  is  a  matter  involving 
too  high  responsibilities  to  justify  haste. 
The  consequences,  generally  speaking, 
are  not  confined  to  this  life  :  they  ex- 
tend to  eternity. 

Tacitus  says  :  "  Early  marriage 
makes  us  immortal.  It  is  the  soul  and 
chief  prop  of  empire.  That  man  who 
resolves  to  live  without  a  woman,  and 
that  woman  who  resolves  to  live  with- 
out a  man,  are  enemies  to  the  commu- 
nity in  which  they  dwell,  enemies  to 
themselves,  destructive  to  the  whole 
world,  apostate  from  nature,  and  rebels 
against  heaven  and  earth." 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  163 


COQUETRY. 


In  the  progress  of  an  intimate  acquain- 
tance with  a  young  lady,  should  it  be 
discovered  that  there  are  certain  traits 
of  character  in  one  of  the  parties,  which 
both  are  fully  convinced  will  be  a  source 
of  unhappiness  through  life,  there  may 
be  no  special  impropriety  in  separa- 
ting. And  yet  even  then  I  would  say, 
avoid  haste.  Better  consider  for  an 
hour,  than  repent  for  a  year  or  for  life. 
But  let  it  be  remembered,  that,  before 
measures  of  this  kind  are  even  hinted 
at,  there  must  be  a  full  conviction  of 
their  necessity,  and  the  mutual  and 
hearty  concurrence  of  both  parties. 
Any  steps  of  this  kind,  the  reasons  for 
which  are  not  fully  understood  on  both 
sides,  and  mutually  satisfactory,  as 
well  as  equally  explicable  to  those 
friends  who  have  a  right  to  inquire  on 


164  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

the  subject,  are  criminal  ; — nay,  more  ; 
tliey  are  brutal. 

I  conceive  that  the  frequent  opinion 
among  young  men  that  nothing  is 
binding  but  a  direct  promise  of  mar- 
riage in  so  many  words,  is  not  only  er- 
roneous, but  highly  dishonorable  to  those 
who  hold  it.  The  strongest  pledges 
are  frequently  given  without  the  inter- 
change of  words.  Actions  speak  loud- 
er than  words ;  and  there  is  an  attach- 
ment sometimes  formed,  and  a  confi- 
dence reposed,  which  would  be,  in  eflect, 
weakened,  by  formalities.  The  man, 
who  would  break  a  silent  engagement, 
merely  because  it  is  a  silent  one,  es- 
pecially when  he  has  taken  a  course  of 
conduct  which  he  knew  would  be  likely 
to  result  in  such  an  engagement,  and 
which  perhaps  he  even  designed,  is 
deserving  of  the  public  contempt.  He 
is  even  a  monster  unfit  to  live  in  de- 
cent society. 

Some  young  men  reason  thus  with 
themselves.     If  doubts  about  the  future 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  165 

have  already  arisen — if  my  affections 
already  begin  to  waver  at  times  — 
what  is  not  to  be  expected  after  mar- 
riage ?  And  is  it  not  better  to  sepa- 
rate, even  without  a  mutual  concur- 
rence, than  to  make  others,  perhaps 
many  others,  unhappy  for  Hfe  1 

In  reply,  I  would  observe,  in  the 
first  place,  that,  though  this  is  the  usual 
reason  which  is  assigned  in  such  cases, 
it  is  not  generally  the  true  one.  The 
fact  is,  the  imagination  is  suffered  to 
wander  where  it  ought  not  ;  and  the 
affections  are  not  guarded  and  re- 
strained, and  confined  to  their  proper 
object.  And,  if  there  is  a  diminu- 
tion of  attachment,  it  is  not  owing  to 
any  change  in  others,  but  in  ourselves. 
If  our  affection  has  become  less  ar- 
dent, let  us  look  within  for  the  cause. 
Shall  others  suffer  for  our  own  fault  ? 

But.  secondly,  we  may  do  much  to 
control  the  affections,  even  after  they 
have  begun  to  wander.  We  still  seek 
the    happiness    of    the   object  oi^  our 


166  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

choice  more  perhaps  than  -that  of  any 
other  individual.  Then  let  us  make 
it  our  constant  study  to  promote  it.  It 
is  a  law  of  our  natures,  as  irrevocable 
as  that  of  the  attraction  of  gravita- 
tion, that  doing  good  to  others  produ- 
ces love  to  them.  And  for  my  own 
part,  I  do  not  believe  the  affections  of  a 
young  man  can  diminish  towards  one 
whose  happiness  he  is  constantly  stu- 
dying to  promote  by  every  means  in 
his  power,  admitting  there  is  no  obvi- 
ous change  in  her  character.  So  that 
no  young  person  of  principle  ought 
ever  to  anticipate  any  such  result. 

Nor  has  a  man  any  right  to  sport 
with  the  affections  of  a  young  v>?oraan, 
in  any  way  whatever.  Vanity  is  gen- 
erally the  tempter  in  this  case  ;  a  de- 
sire to  be  regarded  as  being  admired 
by  women  ;  a  very  despicable  spe- 
cies of  vanity,  but  frequently  very  mis- 
chievous notwithstanding.  You  do 
not  indeed  actually,  in  so  many  words, 
promise    to    marry,    but  the   general 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  167 

tenor  of  your  language  and  deport- 
ment has  that  meaning  ;  you  know 
that  your  meaning  is  so  uncle:  stood  ; 
and,  if  you  have  not  such  meaning  ;  if 
you  be  fixed  by  some  previous  engage- 
ment with,  or  greater  liking  for  anoth- 
er ;  if  you  know  you  are  here  sowing 
the  seeds  of  disappointment  ;  and  if 
you  persevere,  in  spite  of  the  admoni- 
tions of  conscience,  you  are  guilty  of 
deliberate  deception,  injustice,  and  cru- 
elty. You  make  to  God  an  ungrateful 
return  for  those  endowments  which 
have  enabled  you  to  achieve  this  inglo- 
rious and  unmanly  triumph  ;  and  it',  as 
is  frequently  the  case,  you  glory  in 
such  triumph,  you  may  have  person, 
riches,  talents,  to  excite  envy  ;  but  ev- 
ery just  and  humane  man  will  abhor 
your  heart. 

The  most  direct  injury  against  the 
spiritual  nature  of  a  fellow  being  is,  by 
leading  him  into  vice.  I  have  heard 
one  young  man.  who  was  intrusted  six 
days  in  the  week  to   form   the  minds 


168  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

and  hearts  of  a  score  or  twa  of  his 
fellow  beings,  deliberately  boast  of  the 
number  of  the  other  sex  he  had  mis- 
led. What  can  be  more  base  ?  And 
must  not  a  terrible  retribution  await 
such  Heaven-daring  miscreants  ?  Whe- 
ther they  accomplish  their  purposes  by 
solicitation,  by  imposing  on  the  judg- 
ment, or  by  powerful  compulsion5  the 
wrong  is  the  same,  or  at  least  of  the 
same  nature  ;  and  nothing  but  timely 
and  hearty  repentance  can  save  a 
wretch  of  this  description  from  punish- 
ment, either  here  or  hereafter. 

'  Some  tempers,'  says  Burgh,  '  are 
BO  impotently  ductile,  that  they  can 
refuse  nothing  to  repeated  solicitation. 
Whoever  takes  the  advantage  of  such 
persons  is  guilty  of  the  lowest  base- 
ness. Yet  nothing  is  more  common 
than  for  the  debauched  part  of  our  sex 
to  show  their  heroism  by  a  poor  triumph 
over  weak,  easy,  thoughtless  women  ! 
— Nothing  is  more  frequent  than  to 
hear  them  boast  of  the  ruin  of  that  vir- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  169 

tue,  of  which  they  ought  to  have  been 
the  defenders.  "  Poor  fool  !  she  loved 
me,  and  therefore  she  could  refuse  me 
nothing  !"  Base  coward  !  Dost  thou 
boast  of  thy  conquest  over  one  who,  by 
thy  own  confession,  was  disabled  for 
resistance, — disabled  by  hgy^^  affection 
for  thy  worthless  self !  Does  affection 
deserve  such  a  return  ?  Dost  thou 
pride  thyself  that  thou  hast  had  art 
enough  to  decoy  the  harmless  lamb 
to  thy  hand,  that  thou  mightest  shed 
its  blood  ?" 

And  yet  there  are  such  monsters 
as  Burgh  alludes  to.  There  are  just 
such  beings  scattered  up  and  down 
even  the  fairest  portions  of  the  world 
we  hve  in,  to  mar  its  beauty.  We 
may  hope,  for  the  honor  of  human  na- 
ture, they  are  few.  He,  who  can  bring 
himself  to  believe  their  number  to  be  as 
great  as  one  in  a  thousand,  may  well 
be  disposed  to  blush, 

*  And  hang  his  head,  to  own  himself  a  man. 
M 


170  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

I  have  sometimes  wished  these  be- 
ings —  men  they  are  not  —  would 
reflect^  if  it  were  but  for  one  mo- 
ment. They  will  not  deny  the  ex- 
cellency of  the  golden  rule  in  the- 
ory ;  why  then  should  they  despise  it 
in   practice  I 

Let  them  think  a  moment.  Let 
them  imagine  themselves  in  the  place 
of  the  injured  party.  Could  this  point 
be  gained  ;  could  they  be  induced  to 
reflect  long  enough  to  see  the  enormity 
of  their  guilt  as  it  really  is,  or  as  the 
Father  in  Heaven  may  be  supposed 
to  see  it,  there  might  be  hope  in  their 
case.  Or,  if  they  find  it  difficult  to 
view  themselves  as  the  injured,  let 
them  suppose  rather  a  sister  or  a  daugh- 
ter. What  seducer  is  so  lost  to  all 
natural  affection,  as  not  to  have  his 
whole  soal  revolt  at  the  bare  thought 
of  having  a  beloved  sister,  or  daugh- 
ter, experience  the  treatment  which  he 
has  inflicted  ?  Yet  the  being  whom 
he  has  ruined  had  brothers  or  parents  ; 


tllE    YOUNG    MAN.  171 

and  those  brothers  had  a  sister  ;   and 
I,    those  parents  a  daughter  ! 


QUALITIES  liVIPORTANT  IN  A  WIFE. 

In  regard  to  the  qualifications  for  a 
good  wife,  a  discreet  young  man  would 
piobably  look  for  something  like  the 
following  : — 

Good  disposition.  Nothing  can  be 
more  essential  to  domestic  happiness, 
than  this.  Woe  to  the  man,  who  has  a 
fretful,  irritable,  fault-finding,  ungrateful, 
ill-natured  wife!  But  few  men,  unless 
strongly  fortified  withChristian  principle 
can  abide  the  trial.  How  many,  after 
long  struggling  to  please  their  wives, 
and  finding  it  impossible,  have  lost  their 
ambition,  given  up  in  despair,  and 
turned  away  to  the  cup  of  death  and  the 
abodes  of  vice  ! 

You  will  not,  of  course,  judge  of  her 


172  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

disposition,  by  her  conduct  towards 
you,  while  receiving  your  attentions  ; 
but  it  is  generally  pretty  well  known 
by  her  intimate  acquaintances,  espe- 
cially by  her  teachers. 

Domestic  virtues.  No  young  wom- 
an is  fit  to  be  married  till  she  has 
learned  how  to  keep  house.  Seek  a 
wife  of  domestic  virtues,  if  you  would 
know  domestic  happiness,  or  be  able  to 
live  well  within  your  means.  You  may 
generally,  not  always,  know  the  habits 
of  the  daughter,  in  this  respect,  by 
knowing  those  of  the  mother  ;  there 
are  also  other  and  surer  ways  of  ascer- 
taining them.  The  domestic  virtues 
need  not  by  any  means  preclude  the 
highest  and  most  accomplished  edu- 
cation. Some  of  the  most  intelligent, 
refined,  and  finished  ladies  in  our  land, 
have  been  the  most  excellent  house- 
keepers. 

Good  sense  and  intdligence.  The 
intellect  of  the  wife  is  usually  taken 
as   a  representation  of  her  husband's 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  173 

taste  and  judgment.  How  corroding, 
then,  must  it  be  to  him,  always  to  feel 
in  jeopardy  of  being  exposed  by  her 
weakness,  or  mortified  by  her  indiscre- 
tion, or  interrupted  by  her  imperti- 
nence, or  disgraced  by  her  vanity  or 
presumption. 

And,  further,  it  being  the  law  of  our 
nature  that  we  assimilate  to  those  with 
whom  we  are  intimate,  it  can  hardly 
be  expected  that  so  intimate  a  relation 
as  that  of  husband  and  wife  should 
long  exist,  without  his  participating 
somewhat  of  her  character.  What- 
ever is  weak  or  eccentric  in  her,  cannot 
be  removed,  but  it  will  find  its  way 
more  or  less  into  his  own  mind,  and 
at  length  induce  him  to  act  in  many 
instances  with  weakness  and  indis- 
cretion. 

Agreeable  person  and  good  health. 
Too  much  importance  is  usually  at- 
tached to  beauty.  Yet  it  has  always 
had  its  admirers,  and  always  will  have 
them.     Whatever  is  truly  beautiful  in 


174  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

nature  or  in  art,  will  ever  attract  ad- 
miration and  excite  pleasure.  It  is  al- 
ways desirable,  therefore,  that  the  per- 
son of  your  companion  should  be  such 
as  to  please  your  eye  ;  such  as  you 
will  never  be  tired  of  beholding ;  but, 
beyond  this,  the  external  appearance  is 
of  little  importance.  The  love,  that 
is  produced  by  mere  external  beauty, 
is  gross,  sensual,  and  of  short  duration. 
The  intellect  and  the  heart  must  ever 
afford  both  the  occasion  and  the  object 
of  all  genuine  and  abiding  love.  If 
you  are  a  man  of  any  sense,  you  will 
soon  become  disgusted  with  even  the 
finest  exterior,  if  it  is  found  to  be  asso- 
ciated with  a  weak  mind  and  a  bad 
disposition.  Rarely,  if  ever,  is  a  per- 
manently happy  match  formed  upon 
the  mere  principles  of  external  beauty. 
Besides,  how  soon  does  the  fairest  flow- 
er fade !  How  frequently  do  the  most 
beautiful  girls  make  the  ugliest  women  ! 
It  is  not  to  be  expected,  however,  that 
many   of  my  readers  will  pay  much 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  175 

attention  to  this  remark.  There  are 
some  things  which  never  will  be  learn- 
ed but  by  experience,  of  which  this  is 
clearly  one. 

I  shall  venture,  however,  to  repeat 
the  remark,  with  the  presumption  that 
the  reader  will  some  time  or  other  ac- 
knowledge its  truth,  that,  connected 
with  gracefulness  of  form  and  manner, 
it  is  the  expression  of  intelligence,  ani- 
mation, and  benignity,  which,  to  a  tru- 
ly cultivated  and  good  mind,  ultimate- 
ly constitutes  the  essential  element  of 
beauty. 

The  importance  of  a  good  constitu- 
tion and  of  health  in  the  person  who 
is  to  be  your  companion  for  life,  both 
to  yourself  and  to  your  children,  is  so 
obvious  as  only  to  require  to  be 
mentioned. 

Neatness.  One  of  the  most  indis- 
pensable of  all  the  female  virtues,  es- 
pecially in  an  individual  sustaining 
the  relation  of  wife  and  housekeeper. 
Many  a  man  has  been  mortified,  hum- 


176  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

bled,  broken  down  and  ruined,  by  Iiav- 
ing  a  slattern  for  his  wife.  It  is  very 
seldom  that  a  husband  becomes  intem- 
perate or  vicious  when  his  wife  is  thor- 
oughly neat  and  tidy  in  her  person 
and  house.  As  long  as  she  is  invi- 
ting and  tasteful  in  her  appearance, 
carefully  retains  the  attractions  of  her 
maidenhood,  serves  him  witii  sAveet 
and  wholesome  food,  diffuses  an  air  of 
purity  and  comfort  about  her,  it  is  hardly 
in  any  husband,  not  already  brutalized 
by  vice,  to  stray  from  the  paradise  which 
she  creates,  in  search  of  happiness. 
A  very  little  discrimination  and  in- 
quiry may  certify  you  respecting  the 
habits  of  any  young  woman  in  this 
particular  ;  and,  if  she  is  not  neat  be- 
fore she  is  married,  you  may  be  sure 
she  never  will  be  afterwards. 

Sympathy  in  your  calling.  Noth- 
ing contributes  more  to  sustain  a  man 
and  to  urge  him  forward  in  the  du- 
ties of  his  calling,  than  the  lively  sym- 
pathies of  his  wife.     If  she  discovers 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  177 

a  pleasure  and  a  pride  in  his  employ- 
ment and  his  success,  if  she  gives  him 
her  cheering  support  in  his  trials,  if 
she  enters  with  warm  and  lively  in- 
terest into  the  very  objects  which  most 
engage  his  own  heart,  he  is  rendered 
mo;e  than  doubly  strong  and  happy. 
Make  it  a  primary  object,  then,  if  you 
would  taste  the  sweets  of  domestic  life, 
to  seek  for  your  wife  a  person  of  a 
lively  and  sympathizing  spirit.  De- 
pend upon  it,  no  beauty  of  person,  nor 
grace  of  manner,  nor  learning,  nor 
wit,  will  ever  atone  for  the  absence  of 
this.  Without  this,  you  will  not  long 
love  her  with  a  full  heart  ;  and  with 
this,  even  in  the  absence  of  many  other 
desirable  qualities,  you  can  hardly  fail 
to  love  her  with  a  constant  and  grow- 
ing aifection. 

Religion.  Of  all  the  virtues,  that 
can  adorn  a  wife,  this  is  transcen- 
dently  the  most  important.  An  irre- 
ligious young  man  once  said  to  me,  "  I 
make  no   pretensions  to   religion  my- 


178  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

self,  but  I  would  much  prefer  a  relig- 
ious wife."  He  showed  good  sense  in 
the  remark,  but  I  would  never  advise 
a  pious  woman  to  marry  an  irreligious 
man.  It  is  truly  surprising,  that,  in  a 
world  of  so  many  excellent  females, 
any  man  in  his  sober  senses,  and  es- 
pecially any  Christian,  should  ever 
think  of  taking  up  with  an  irreligious 
person  for  his  wife. 

It  is  not  enough  that  your  wife 
should  be  Christian,  merely  in  some 
low  or  indifferent  sense.  If  you  would 
know  the  sweets  of  domestic  bliss,  and 
secure  your  own  highest  usefulness 
and  glory,  her  piety  must  be  of  an 
eminently  pure  and  elevated  charac- 
ter. Her  heart  must  be  bathed  in 
heaven.  She  must  be  richly  imbued 
with  that  unearthly,  sweet,  contented, 
amiable,  benevolent  spirit  of  her  Sa- 
vior, which,  by  frequent  communion 
with  God,  has  learned  to  look  away 
from  this  world,  and  to  bear  you  above 
all  its  vexations  and  disappointments  ; 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  179 

which  will  relieve  you  of  one  of  the 
greatest  of  all  anxieties,  by  making 
you  feel  that,  whatever  ills  may  be- 
tide you  in  this  changing  world,  they 
cannot  destroy  the  happiness  of  your 
wife,  cannot  clothe  her  sunny  face  with 
either  frowns  or  sorrows,  cannot  dis- 
turb the  heaven-born  serenity  of  her 
spirit.    O  what  a  treasure  is  such  a  wife ! 

Above  all  things,  then,  if  you  have 
any  regard  to  your  temporal  peace,  as 
well  as  to  your  everlasting  happi- 
ness, let  elevated,  consistent,  well-form- 
ed piety  be  the  essential  character  of 
her  who  is  to  be  the  chosen  companion 
of  your  bosom.  But  remember  that, 
to  be  worthy  of  such  a  companion,  you 
must  yourself  possess  the  same  char- 
acter. 

Let  no  regard  for  money  have  place 
among  the  motives  which  determine 
your  choice.  It  is  doubtful  whether 
ever  a  man  married  for  money  who  did 
not,  or  will  not,  see  cause  to  regret 
it.     This  is  too  sacred  an  institution  to 


180  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

be  debased,  with  impunity,  by  such 
sordid  motives.  Still  rich  ladies  must 
have  husbands,  and  of  course  some- 
body must  marry  them.  If  all  the 
other  qualifications  pertain  to  a  lady, 
and  a  gentleman  really  loves  her,  the 
simple  objection  that  she  has  some 
one  or  two  hundred  thousand  dollars, 
would  not  probably  in  most  cases  be 
insurmountable.  If  you  should  ever 
have  occasion  to  surmount  such  an  ob- 
jection, which  it  is  rather  to  be  hoped 
you  will  not,  your  best  w^ay  will  be 
never  to  have  anything  to  do  with 
your  wife's  property.  Let  it  be  secu- 
red to  her  in  law  before  you  are  mar- 
ried, that  you  may  never  bear  the  re- 
proach* of  wasting  her  estate,  or  living 
upon  her  interest. 

It  is  better  for  your  own  safety 
also,  that  all  your  intercourse  with  a 
lady,  before  your  mind  is  fully  made 
up,  should  be  of  such  a  character  as 
not  to  awaken  the  least  suspicion. 
Then  her  conduct  is  more  unconstrain- 


THE     YOUNG    MAN.  181 

ed  and  artless  ;  you  can  study  her 
mind  and  character  better  ;  you  can 
make  your  inquiries  of  others,  and  ob- 
tain honest  answers.  Having  made 
your  choice,  and  obtained  the  object  of 
your  desire,  let  it  be  your  ambition  that 
both  she,  and  those  who  gave  her  to 
you,  may  ever  find  increasing  cause  to 
rejoice  in  the  union. 


HINTS  TO  YOUNG  HUSBANDS. 

Married  life  is  not  always  as  happy 
as  it  might  be,  and  those  who  have 
at  first  resolved  to  live  for  each  other, 
sometimes  end  their  career  in  mutual 
dislike.  But  if  it  does  not  come  to  this, 
there  are  often  little  disagreements,  mis- 
understandings, and  troubles,  which 
destroy  the  peace  of  married  people  ; 
and  in  general  the  fault  is  to  be  tra- 
ced to  a  want  of  consideration,  a  littlq 


1812  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

precipitancy  of  action  on  one  side  or  the 
other.  Half  the  success  of  married  hfe  de- 
pends upon  the  attention  paid  to  trijies. 
Uniform  kindness  of  manner  is  a  sure 
method  of  preserving  domestic  quiet. 

'  Husbands  should  always  regard 
their  wives  as  equals,  and  treat  them 
with  kindness,  respect,  and  attention. 
They  should  never  address  them  with 
;ui  air  of  authority,  nor  as  a  master, 
lior  interfere  with  domestic  concerns, 
tiie  employment  or  discharge  of  ser- 
vants. The  wife  should  always  be 
gupplied  with  money  in  proportion  to 
her  husband's  means,  that  she  may  pro- 
cure those  things  indispensable  to  the 
table  and  for  her  personal  comfort. 
Her  reasonable  v>rishes  should  be  cheer- 
fully complied  with  ;  temper  never 
should  be  shown  at  those  slight  irreg- 
ularities in  the  domestic  arrangements 
which  will  occasionally  occur  in  fami- 
lies, and  are  often  unavoidable.  If  the 
wife  be  a  strong-minded  and  prudent 
woman,  she  is  her  husband's  best  coun- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  183 

sellor,  and  should  be  consulted  in  every 
difficulty.  Many  a  man  has  been  sa- 
ved from  ruin  by  this  course,  and  many 
an  one  ruined  by  not  adopting  it.  If 
the  husband's  circumstances  are  em- 
barrassed, she  should  know  it  ;  as  v:o- 
men,  who  are  kept  in  ignorance  of 
them,  often  expend  money  which  they 
would  not  do  if  they  knew  the  truth. 

A  wnfe  should  never  be  rebuked  or 
chidden  in  company  for  any  little  mis- 
takes in  conversation,  or  any  other 
cause.  Some  men  do  this  constantly, 
and  strike  a  keener  dart  at  the  feel- 
ings of  a  sensitive  woman,  than  they 
would  by  a  sharp  rebuke  in  private. 
Anything  like  an  exposure  of  igno- 
rance in  company,  impairs  her  respect 
for  herself  and  the  good  opinion  enter- 
tained of  her  by  others. 

You  may  have  great  trials  and  per- 
plexities in  your  business,  and  in  your 
intercourse  with  the  world  ;  but  do  not 
therefore  carry  to  your  home  a  cloud- 
ed   or    contracted    brow.     Your  wife 


184  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

may  have  had  trials,  which,  though  of 
less  magnitude,  may  have  been  as  hard 
to  bear.  Do  not  increase  her  difficul- 
ties. A  kind,  conciliating  word,  a  ten- 
der look,  will  do  wonders  in  chasing 
from  her  brow  all  clouds  and  gloom. 
You  encounter  your  difficulties  in  the 
open  air,  fanned  by  heaven's  cool  bree- 
zes, but  your  wife  is  often  shut  in  from 
these  healthful  influences,  and  her 
health  fails,  and  her  spirits  lose  their 
elasticity.  But  bear  with  her,  she  has 
trials  and  sorrows  to  which  you  are 
a  stranger,  but  which  your  tenderness 
can  deprive  of  all  their  keenness. 

Notice  kindly  her  little  attentions 
and  efforts  to  promote  your  comfort. 
Do  not  take  them  all  as  matters  of 
course,  and  pass  them  by,  at  the  same 
time  being  very  sure  to  observe  any 
omission  of  what  you  may  consider 
her  duty  to  you.  Do  not  treat  her 
with  indifference,  if  you  would  not 
sear  and  palsy  a  heart  which,  watered 
by  gentleness   and  kindness,  would,  to 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  185 

the  latest  day  of  your  existence,  throb 
with  sincere  and  constant  affection. 

Somelimes  yield  your  wishes  to 
hers.  She  has  preferences  as  strong 
as  you,  and  it  may  be  just  as  trying 
to  her  to  yield  her  choice,  as  to  you. 
Do  you  find  it  hard  to  yield  some- 
times 7  Think  you  it  is  not  difficult 
for  her  to  give  up  always  ?  If  you 
never  yield  to  her  wishes,  there  is  dan- 
ger that  she  will  feel  you  are  selfish, 
and  care  only  for  yourself ;  and,  with 
such  a  feeling,  she  cannot  love  you  as 
she  ought.      Again, 

Show  yourself  manly,  so  that  your 
wife  can  look  up  to  you,  and  feel  that 
you  will  act  nobly,  and  that  she  can 
confide  in  your  judgment. 

Finally,  where  there  is  any  differ- 
ence between  man  and  wife,  let  the 
contest  not  be  who  shall  show  the 
most  spirit,  but  who  shall  make  the 
first  advances  to  reconciliation.  Each 
should  treat  the  other  with  the   respect 


186  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

which,  if  they  were  strangers,  would 
be  a  matter  of  course. 


THE  ELEMENTS  OF  GENIUS. 

This  article  will  derive  additional 
force  and  interest,  if  we  mention  that 
it  is  from  the  pen  of  Elihu  Burritt,  "  the 
learned  blacksmith,"  wJio  himself  af- 
fords a  living  exemplification  of  the 
truth  of  these  remarks. 

An  individual,  with  a  laudable  spirit 
of  emulation,  sees  men  standing  upon 
an  eminence  which  he  has  determined 
to  reach.  He  appreciates  the  nature 
and  necessity  of  the  exertion,  and  sets 
himself  to  work  with  an  earnest  assidu- 
ity that  never  tires  nor  faints.  At 
first,  he  labors  like  a  prisoner  who  is 
trying  to  dig  through  the  granite 
dungeon  wall  with  a  nail  or  a  knife  ; 
he  conceals  every  stroke  from  the  pub- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  187 

lie  eye,  lest  his  friends  and  neighbors 
should  laugh  at  his  tortoise  step.  He 
goes  on  :  every  inch  is  gained'^by  a 
painful  effort.  He  bends  every  oppo- 
sing circumstance  to  his  service  ;  he 
lays  seige  to  every  obstacle  and  car- 
ries it,  as  one  would  carry  a  redoubt, 
and  turns  it  against  the  next  obstruc- 
tion. A  steep  over-hanging  rock 
blocks  up  his  path  and  threatens  him 
with  destruction.  He  must  scale  this, 
or  never  ascend  another  inch.  Years 
roll  on,  and  find  him  cutting  his  wind- 
ing way  up  the  precipitous  bulwark  : 
steadily  he  keeps  his  eye  to  the  top, 
until  the  last  niche  is  finished  ;  and, 
when  he  proudly  plants  his  foot  upon 
the  vanquished  rock,  he  finds  himself 
the  lord  of  a  fortress  which  commands 
every  other  post  that  intervenes  be- 
tween him  and  the  summit-goal  of  his 
ambition.  Every  obstacle  he  meets 
serves  only  to  increase  his  upward 
gradation.  He  reaches  the  top,  and, 
as  he  wipes  his  brow  and  casts  his  eye 


188  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

down  his  winding  path,  he  sees  that 
all  the  obstacles  he  encountered  were 
like  friendly  though  frowning  giants 
that  lifted  him  from  one  steep  to  an- 
other, till  he  reached  the  goal.  Did 
Fortune,  Chance,  or  Native  Genius  help 
him  up  the  eminence  ?  No  ;  fortune 
was  his  first  foe  ;  and  he  fought  with 
her  at  every  inch,  and  dragged  her 
with  him  to  the  top,  a  docile  prisoner. 
What  did  chance  do  for  him  in  the 
outset  ?  It  was  a  screeching  phan- 
tom, that  struck  its  black  wings  in  his 
face,  and  rolled  rocks  in  his  path  at 
every  step.  He  braced  up  his  heart 
and  bearded  the  providence  of  fate, 
and  allied  himself  to  a  more  available 
auxiliary,  the  common  providence  of 
God.  But  he  had  native  genius  on 
his  side  I  Yes  ;  but  it  was  a  genius 
which  he  begat  himself ;  it  was  the 
legitimate  offspring  of  his  own  faculties  ; 
which  he  believed  and  proved  were 
able  to  produce  this  attribute  of  the  in- 
tellectual soul.     He  had  a  mind  :    and 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  189 

SO  has  every  other  man  ;  and  that  mind 
had  just  so  many  facuhies,  and  no 
more.  True  they  were  weak  at  first, 
and  he  knew  it,  and  his  fellows  might 
have  laughed  at  him  for  it  ;  but  he 
found  by  experiment  that  these  facul- 
ties, like  those  of  every  other  man, 
were  endowed  with  a  susceptibility  of 
cultivation  and  a  capacity  of  strength 
sufficient  for  any  emergency  or  attain- 
ment. He  dared  not  tell  the  world 
so  ;  for  it  would  have  been  disrespect- 
ful to  the  royal  blood  of  genius,  and  he 
would  have  been  denounced  a  heretic 
to  the  established  faith.  But  he  went 
to  work  in  secret,  as  every  man  is  obli- 
ged to  do  ;  and  he  was  half  way  up 
the  eminence  before  the  world  knew 
it.  From  that  point  to  the  apex  of  his 
career,  he  was  called  and  crowned  a 
genius.  The  prerogatives  of  this  title 
are  fixed  with  precision,  and  the  cere- 
monies ot  the  coronation  are  the 
same  now  as  they  were  under  the 
dynasty   of   Mount   Olympus.       The 


190  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

modern  process  is  something  after  this 
fashion  : — 

A  man,  called  a  biographer^  is  sent 
after  the  genius,  with  all  the  machinery 
invented  for  the  operation.  As  soon  as 
the  candidate  for  immortality  has  ceas- 
ed to  climb,  the  biographer,  or  rather 
hiotapher^  sets  to  work  might  and 
main.  He  knows  his  task  and  performs 
it  too.  He  strikes  into  the  base  of  the 
eminence,  and  digs  away  every  foot- 
print of  his  hero's  ascent ;  he  tears  a- 
way  the  rocks  he  scaled,  and  the  shrubs 
he  grasped.  He  cuts  away  the  accliv- 
ity, and  shows  the  man  standing  upon 
the  jutting  edge  of  a  perpendicular 
mountain,  steep  and  inaccessible  as  the 
sides  of  Gibraltar.  One  stroke  more, 
and  his  work  is  done  ;  it  is  the  crowning 
touch  of  the  apotheosis  ;  he  writes  upon 
the  forehead  of  his  unresisting  victim, 
Nascitur  non  fit^  in  glaring  capitals  ; 
tlien,  turning  to  the  world,  exclaims, 

ECCE    HOMO  ! 

This  is  the  history  of  genius,  given 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  191 

in  the  language  of  common  life  ;  this 
is  the  process  of  ge}ihis  making,  which 
has  filled  the  world  with  the  graven 
images  of  deified  intellect,  wiiich  only 
serve  to  overawe  the  people.  'Tis 
gross  injustice,  the  whole  of  it.  This 
process  embodies  all  the  elements  of 
the  ancient  apotheosis.  It  digs  an  im- 
mense chasm  between  man  and  man, 
and  breaks  up  the  high  road  between 
the  incipient  and  terminating  limits  of 
his  intellectual  capacity.  In  this  way, 
the  monuments  of  industry  and  appli- 
cation, which  great  and  good  men  de- 
signed as  way-marks  to  higher  lati- 
tude of  intellectual  eminence,  are  turn- 
ed into  steep,  impassable  barriers  which 
circumscribe  one's  sphere  of  thought 
and  action- 


192  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


A  BROAD  MIND. 


A  FEW  days  since,  I  heard  a  clergyman 
describe  a  deacon  of  his  acquaintance 
as  "  a  man  of  a  broad  mind."  The 
expression  reminded-  me  of  a  little  in- 
cident that  occrftred  when  F'was  in  the 
city  of  Paris,  Being  in  company  one 
evening  with  several  literary  and  reli- 
gious friends,  Mons. was  pointed 

out  to  me  as  editor  of  one  of  the  best 
religious  journals  in  France — a  man  of 
consistent  piety,  and  a  decided  protes- 
tant.  He  was  very  diminutive  in  size, 
and  to  a  stranger  appeared  quite  unat- 
tractive. While  conversing  with 
Mons. ,  a  worthy  protestant  min- 
ister, who  preaches  in  the  Faubourg  du 
Temple,  the  conversation  turned  upon 
the  religious  periodial  literature  of  Pa- 
ris, and  ultimately  upon  the  little  edi- 
tor aforesaid.      This 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  193 

knowledge  of  English  was  very  limit- 
ed, remarked  concerning  him,  ''He  is  a 
very  large  man."  Without  thinking 
of  the  French  sense  in  which  he  used  the 
word  large.  I  instantly  turned  to  see  if 
I  had  mistaken  the  physical  propor- 
tions of  the  editor,  and  to  see,  what  I 
had  not  yet  seen,  a  large  Frenchman. 
My  optics  served  me  as  before,  and 
then  the  true  idea  occurred,  that  the 
description  was  figurative,  and  appli- 
ed to  the  mind  rather  than  the  body. 
Subsequent  acquaintance  with  the 
gentleman  satisfied  me  that  his  ad- 
mirer had  not  spoken  too  strongly  — 
that  he  was  truly  "  a  very  large 
man."  His  mind  was  dev^eloped  in 
breadth  as  well  as  in  length  and  height, 
and  therefore  stood  firmly  on  its  basis, 
Truth.  He  took  broad  views  of  every 
subject,  and  consequently  his  opinions 
were  intelligent  and  comprehensive. 
His  philanthropy  was  broad.,  embra- 
cing the  whole  human  family.  I  have 
seldom  seen  a  man  who  answered  so 


194  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

perfectly  to  the    description  —  "  very 
larffe.'''' 


ATTAINMENT  OF  KNOWLEDGE. 

Dr.  Olinthus  Gregory  says:  "  With 
a  few  exceptions,  (so  ^qw  indeed  that 
they  need  scarcely  be  taken  into  a 
practical  estimate,)  any  person  may 
learn  any  thing  upon  which  he  sets 
his  heart.  To  insure  success,  he  has 
simply  so  to  discipline  his  mind  as  to 
check  its  vagaries,  —  to  cure  it  of  its 
proneness  to  be  doing  two  or  more 
things  at  a  time,  —  and  to  compel  it 
to  direct  its  combined  energies,  simul- 
taneously, to  a  single  object,  and  thus 
to  do  one  thing-  at  once.  This  I 
consider  as  one  of  the  most  difficult, 
but  one  of  the  most  useful  lessons  that 
a  3^oung  man  can  learn. 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  19 


READING. 


It  is  the  glory  of  man  that  he  is  made 
capable  of  endless  improvement  in 
knowledge,  virtue,  and  happiness.  And 
it  is  the  high  privilege  of  those  who 
dwell  in  this  country  that  they  enjoy 
h)  rich  abundance  the  means  of  such 
improvement.  Among  these  means, 
hooks  hold  a  prominent  place.  They 
are  indeed  our  principal  instructers, 
and  do  more,  perhaps,  in  the  formation 
of  our  intellectual  and  moral  habits, 
than  all  other  means  combined.  But, 
as  books  are  of  very  various  charac- 
ter, some  good,  some  indifferent,  and 
some  of  a  positively  pernicious  ten- 
dency, it  is  plainly  a  matter  of  great 
importance,  to  make  a  wise  selection 
of  them,  and  to  read  them  with  due 
caution.  Especially  is  this  true  in  re- 
spect to  those  to  whom  the  active  du- 


196  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

ties  of  life  leave  but  little  leisure  for  read- 
ing, and  to  all  in  the  spring  season  of 
life,  while  the  mental  and  moral  hab- 
its are  yet  in  a  process  of  formation. 
A  person  may  be  ruined  by  reading 
a  single  volume.  The  authors,  with 
whom  you  are  most  familiar,  can  hard- 
ly fail  to  impress  on  your  minds,  their 
own  image  and  superscription.  Your 
habits  of  thinking,  your  sentiments, 
your  social  and  moral  feelings,  your 
whole  character  will  receive  their  shape 
and  colouring,  very  much  from  the 
books  you  read.  If  these  are  wisely 
selected  and  properly  studied,  they 
will  enlighten  your  minds,  improve 
your  hearts,  and  establish  your  charac- 
ter on  the  firm  basis  of  virtue  and 
piety  ;  if  otherwise,  they  will  enfee- 
h\e  your  intellect,  corrupt  your  princi- 
ples, and  destroy  your  happiness.  It 
is  a  maxim,  then,  ever  to  be  borne  in 
mind,    Take  heed  what  ye  read. 

To  acquire  useful  information  ;  to  im- 
prove the  mind  in  knowledge,  and  the 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  197 

heart  in  goodness  ;  to  become  qualifi- 
ed to  perform  with  honor  and  useful- 
ness the  duties  of  hfe,  and  prepared 
for  an  happy  immortality  beyond  the 
grave, —  these  are  the  great  objects 
which  ought  ever  to  be  kept  in  view 
in  reading.  And  all  books  are  to  be 
accounted  good  or  bad,  in  their  effects, 
just  as  they  tend  to  promote  or  hinder 
the  attainment  of  these  objects. 

Taking  this  as  the  criterion,  by 
which  to  regulate  your  choice  of  books, 
you  wi'l,  I  think,  be  led  to  give  an 
important  place  to  historical  reading, 
especially  to  that  which  belongs  to  our 
own  country.  History  is  the  mirror  of 
the  world.  In  it,  we  behold  the  origin 
and  progress  of  society,  the  rise  and 
fall  of  empires  ;  we  become  acquaint- 
ed with  the  institutions,  laws,  manners, 
and  customs  of  different  nations,  trace 
the  course,  and  witness  the  progress  of 
that  silent  but  mighty  current  that  is 
continually  bearing  men  and  all  their 
works   into  the  gulf  of   oblivion,  and 


198  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

see,  as  in  a  moving  picture,  the  gene- 
rations of  our  race,  as  tliey  have  risen 
into  being,  acted  their  part  on  the 
stage  of  hfe,  and  passed  in  quick  suc- 
cession with  the  years  beyond  the 
flood.  Such  scenes  are  replete  with 
the  most  interesting  and  profitable  les- 
sons. Especially  are  they  so,  when 
they  relate  to  the  history  of  our  own 
country.  And  with  the  history  of 
our  own  country  every  American  citi- 
zen ought  to  be  familiar. 

In  addition  to  a  knowledge  of  our 
own  history,  some  acquaintance  with 
the  government  and  laws  of  the  society 
in  which  we  live  would  seem  an  al- 
most indispensable  qualification  of  a 
good  citizen. 

Nearly  related  to  history,  and  not 
less  important,  is  biography.  This  is 
a  kind  of  reading  most  happily  adap- 
ted to  minds  of  every  capacity  and  de- 
gree of  improvement.  While  it  pos- 
sesses a  charm  that  can  hardly  fail  to 
interest    the    least   instructed,    it  fur- 


I'  THE    YOUNG    MAN.  199 

; 

I  nishes  lessons  by  which  the  wisest  and 
best  may  be  profited.  It  makes  you 
acquainted  with  the  fairest  and  most 
excellent  specimens  of  human  charac- 
ter. It  introduces  you  into  the  society 
of  the  great  and  the  learned,  the  wise 
and  the  good  ;  you  mingle  and  associate 
with  them  in  all  their  walks  and  ways ; 
you  hear  them  converse  ;  you  see  them 
act  ;  and  mark  the  steps  by  which  they 
attained  their  excellence.and  rose  to  their 
elevation  in  honor  and  influence.  The 
etfect  of  this  cannot  be  otherwise  than 
eminently  happy.  While  conversant 
with  such  characters,  a  process  of  as- 
similation will  be  going  on,  in  your  own 
minds.  You  will  feel  within  you  an 
influence,  raising  you  above  whatever 
is  base  and  polluting,  and  inspiring  in 
you  the  love  of  whatever  is  noble  and 
excellent. 

The  reader,  while  sitting  by  his 
own  fireside,  may,  by  reading,  be- 
come a  traveller  in  foreign  lands,  and 
participate  in  much  of  the  enjoyment 


209  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

of  the  tourist,  witliont  experiencing  any 
of  his  difficulties  and  dangers.  He 
may  thus  obtain  an  acquaintance  with 
the  condition,  manners,  and  customs  of 
different  nations,  and  his  mind  become 
enlarged  by  contemplating  the  wide  di- 
versities of  law\5!,  of  morals,  of  religion, 
and  of  literature.  He  is  also  enabled 
to  compare  the  numerous  privileges 
and  advantages,  which  he  enjoys,  wnth 
those  possessed  by  other  nations — and 
be  led  the  more  sensibly  to  appreciate 
the  value  of  our  ow\n  system  of  gov- 
ernment, and  the  importance  of  striv- 
ing to  purify  and  perpetuate  it. 

All  standard  works,  pertainmg  to  or 
connected  with  your  destined  pursuits 
in  life,  should  engage  a  place  in  your 
studies. 

Works,  that  illustrate  the  natural 
sciences,  and  show  their  application 
to  the  practical  arts  of  life,  such  as  Buf- 
fon's  Natural  History,  Goldsmith's 
Animated  Nature,  Good's  Book  of  Na- 
ture,  Treatises  on  Botany  and  Chem- 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  201 

istry.  and  publications  on  experimental 
philosophy,  can  be  read  with  much 
profit  and  amusement.  *  Combe  on  the 
Constitution  of  INIan  is  one  of  the  most 
valuable  publications  that  have  issued 
from  the  press  for  many  years.  I 
would  most  earnestly  recommend  its 
perusal  to  all  whose  eye  meets  these 
lines — it  will  richly  repay  them. 

Not  less  valuable  are  those  writers 
that  make  us  acquainted  w^ith  our  own 
minds  and  hearts  ;  that  analyze  and 
lay  open  the  secret  springs  of  action  ; 
unfold  the  principles  of  political  and 
moral  science  and  illustrate  the  duties 
which  we  owe  to  our  fellow  men,  to 
society,  and  to  God. 

Of  poetry,  there  are  comparatively 
but  few  entire  works,  that  can  be  re- 
commended to  the  young.  Pope  has 
many  beauties,  intermingled  with  much 
that  is  decidedly  of  an  immoral  tenden- 
cy ;  and  the  same  may  be  said  of 
Burns,  Byron,  and  Moore.     But  there 

0 


202  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

can  be  no  hesitancy  in  recommending 
Milton,  Cowper,  Young — making  due 
allowance  for  their  religious  peculiari- 
ties —  Scott,  Wordsworth,  Southey, 
Coleridge,  Campbell,  Beattie,  Thom- 
son, Bryant,  Mrs.  Hemans,  and  Mrs. 
Sigourney. 

But  the  book  that  relates  to  your 
most  important  interests  ought  to  have 
the  first  place  assigned  to  it,  in  your 
course  of  reading.  The  Bible,  "  the 
eldest  surviving  offspring  of  the  human 
intellect,"  the  chosen  companion  and 
friend  of  patriarchs,  prophets,  apostles, 
and  of  all  the  wisest  and  best  men  that 
have  ever  lived  ; — this  book,  that  re- 
veals to  us  the  character  and  will  of 
our  great  Creator  and  final  Judge, — 
that  opens  to  our  view  the  invisible 
world,  and  shows  us  the  final  destiny  of 
our  race  ; — this  book,  which  has  con- 
ducted to  heaven  all  who  have  enter- 
ed that  happy  world,  and  must  con- 
duct us  thither,  if  we  ever  attain  to  its 
blessedness — this  book  ought  surely  to 


tHE    YOtJNG   MAN.  203 

be  made  the  guide  of  our  youth  and  the 
companion  of  our  age,  and  to  be  held 
by  us  in  the  highest  place  of  honor  and 
respect.  Considered  merely  as  a  hu^ 
man  composition,  it  is  unquestionably 
the  most  interesting  book  on  earth. 
One  of  the  greatest  and  best  of  men,  I 
refer  to  Sir  William  Jones,  a  judge  of 
the  supreme  court  of  judicature  in 
Bengal,  has  said  of  the  Bible, — "  I 
have  carefully  and  regularly  perused 
the  Scriptures,  and  am  of  opinion  that 
this  volume,  independent  of  its  divine 
origin,  contains  more  sublimity,  purer 
morality,  more  important  history,  and 
finer  strains  of  eloquence,  than  can  be 
collected  from  all  other  books,  in  what- 
ever language  they  may  have  been 
written."  Embrace  this  volume  then 
to  your  bosom.  Let  it  be  a  lamp  to 
your  feet  and  a  hght  to  your  path. 
With  every  morning  dawn  and  even- 
ing shade,  repair  to  this  book  for  in- 
struction and  council,  and  the  happy 
effects  of  it  upon  your  mind  and  heart 


THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

upon  your  character  and  life,  upon 
your  present  and  eternal  happiness, 
you  will  gratefully  acknowledge  in  the 
eternal  world. 

Having  made  these  remarks  to  assist 
you  in  a  proper  choice  of  books,  I  will 
suggest  a  few  rules  in  regard  to  the 
best  manner  of  reading  them. 

In  the  first  place,  then,  read  wnth  dis- 
crimination. The  world  is  full  of 
books  ;  no  small  portion  of  which  are 
either  worthless,  or  decidedly  hurtful  in 
their  tendency.  And,  as  no  man  has 
time  to  read  everything,  he  ought  to 
make  a  selection  of  the  ablest  and  best 
writers  on  the  subjects  which  he  wishes 
to  investigate,  and  dismiss  wholly  from 
his  attention  the  entire  crowd  of  unw^or- 
thy  and  useless  ones. 

Read  with  attention.  Never  take 
up  a  book  merely  for  amusement,  or  for 
the  sake  of  whiling  away  time.  Time 
thus  spent  is  worse  than  lost.  It  tends 
to  form  a  habit  of  desultory,  indolent 
thought,  and  to  incapacitate  the  mind 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  205 

for  confining  its  attention  to  clo?e  and 
accurate  investigation.  And  yet  there 
is  no  habit  more  liable  to  grow  upon 
the  young  reader  than,  while  the  eye 
is  skimming  over  the  page,  to  allow  the 
mind  to  be  wandering  away,  absorbed 
in  some  thought  wholly  disconnected 
with  llie  subject  before  him.  This 
habit  w^eakens  the  intellect,  distracts 
the  mind,  and  fills  it  w^ith  confusion 
and  anarchy — and  it  should,  therefore, 
be  strongly  guarded  against.  The  at- 
tention and  the  thoughts  should  be 
brought  under  the  strict  command  of 
the  will.  If  they  fly  oflf  in  pursuit  of 
some  wild  vagary,  they  should  be  in- 
stantly called  back,  and  all  their  pow- 
ers concentrated  on  the  page  which  you 
are  perusing.  Then  you  hold  commu- 
nion with  the  author,  and  are  benefit- 
ed :  but,  without  this  attention,  the 
book  may  as  well  be  closed. 

Especially  is  it  important,  as  you 
proceed,  often  to  pause  and  reflect  upon 
what  you  have  read.    Recal  the  train  of 


206  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

thought,  examine  the  argument,  inquire 
into  the  object  and  aim  of  your  au- 
thor ;  whether  his  reasonings  are  con- 
clusive, his  sentiments  just,  his  illustra- 
tions pertinent,  and  his  spirit  good.  To 
read  in  this  manner  is  indeed  labori- 
ous ;  and  he,  who  pursues  it,  will  be 
able  to  read  but  few  volumes,  in  com- 
parison with  him,  who  skims  over  every 
l30ok  that  is  thrown  in  his  way.  But 
the  amount  of  knowledge  and  vigor  of 
mind,  acquired  in  (his  way,  are  an 
abundant  compensation  for  any  de- 
ficiency in  the  number  of  authors 
read. 

Read  for  improvement,  and  not  for 
show.  Recollect  that  the  great  object 
of  reading  is  not  to  he  able  to  tell  what 
others  have  thought  and  said  ;  but  to 
improve  your  minds  in  useful  knowl- 
edge, establish  your  hearts  in  virtue, 
and  prepare  yourself  for  a  right  per- 
formance of  the  duties  of  life.  These 
are  the  great  objects  we  should  have 
in  view  in  all  our  endeavors  to  acquire 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  207 

knowledge,  whetlier  by  books  or  other 
means  of  improvement. 

Alexander  the  Great  had  so  much 
value  and  esteem  for  knowledge  and 
lea.rning  that  he  used  to  say  he  was 
more  obliged  to  Aristotle,  his  tutor,  for 
his  learning,  than  to  Philip,  his  father, 
for  his  life  ;  seeing  the  one  was  mo- 
mentary, and  the  other  permanent,  and 
never  to  be  blotted  out  bv  oblivion. 


HOW  TO  ACQUIRE  A  LIBRARY. 

"  Why,  Frank  Wilson  !  How — where 
on  earth  did  you  get  all  these  books  ! 
Here  !  what  ?  the  Knickerbocker  too  ! 
and  the  North  American  !  Now  Frank, 
where  did  you  get  the  money  to  buy  all 
these  ?  Why,  I  have  ten  dollars  more 
a  year  than  you  ;  yet  I  have  to  send 
down  to  father  for  money,  almost  evevy 
month-      You  take  the   Knickerbocker 


208  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

indeed  !  Why,  there  are  none  but 
'Squire  Waters  and  Doctor  Marvin^ 
in  the  whole  town,  who  think  them- 
selves able  to  have  such  a  costly  work, 
which  is  only  meant  for  a  few  rich 
people  to  read.  Pretty  well,  eh  ?  for 
a  poor  apprentice  to  a  soap-boiler  I 
Where  did  you  get  that  book-ease,  and 
all  those  books  that  you  have  got  stuck 
up  there  ?  Let's  see,  Plutarch?s 
Lives  !  AVho's  he  1  what's  that  a- 
bout  ?  Rolliws  Ancient  History  !  why 
didn't  he  write  it  all  in  one  small  book, 
as  well  as  to  have  a  dozen  about  it  1 
Gibbon's  Rome  !  there's  no  such  place 
in  the  United  States.  Why,  my  dear 
fellow,  what  a  long  hst  of  outlandish 
names  you've  got  here  !  Let  me  see 
— Milton,  Shakspeare,  Young,  Pope, 
Dryden,  Cowper,  Bacon,  Locke,  Gold- 
smith, and  all  the  other  Smiths  in  cre- 
ation, as  well  as  those  in  America  \ 
Now,  come  :  I  will  light  my  Havana, 
and  sit  dow^n  here,  and  give  you  a 
chance  to  explain  how  you,  an  appren- 


THE    YOU-NG    MAN.  209 

tice,  with  only  forty  dollars  a  year, con- 
trive to  scrape  together  a  library  half 
as  large  as  Parson  Dayton's." 

Francis  Wilson  did  not  interrupt  this 
interrogatory  and  exclamatory  medley 
of  words  from  his  comrade,  by  an  ex- 
planation, until  he  had  exhausted  all 
his  incoherent  inquiries.  Sitting  down 
in  the  proliered  chair,  and  lighting  his 
long  nine,  Edward  Saunders  placed 
his  feet  upon  his  friend's  clean  desk, 
and  seemed  really  to  be  waiting  tor  a 
detailed  account  of  the  modus  operan- 
di, by  which  an  apprentice  could  ac- 
quire honestly  such  a  collection  of  val- 
uable books.  Nor  did  Francis  hesi- 
tate to  gratify  his  curiosity.  Both  of 
the  young  men  were  in  the  middle  of 
their  apprenticeship  ;  and  the  most 
cordial  intimacy  had  subsisted  between 
them  from  their  youth.  Edward  was 
deficient  in  nothing  so  much  as  in  that 
economy  so  necessary  for  an  appren- 
tice in  expending  his  small  annuity  : 
and  Francis  hit  upon  a  very  successful 


210  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

method  of  administering  to  his  young 
friend  a  salutary  lesson  upon  this  sub- 
ject, while  he  explained  how  even  an 
apprentice  could  acquire  a  taste  and 
the  means  for  the  cultivation  of  his 
intellect. 

"  Edward,"  said  he,  taking  up  his 
pencil,  "  I  will  explain  to  you  in  fig- 
ures, what  seems  to  have  excited  your 
wonder,  if  you  will  permit  me,  by  the 
way,  to  ask  you  a  few  questions  in  order 
to  solve  the  problem,  I  see  you  are  very 
fond  of  smoking ;  how  many  cigars  do 
you  buy  a  week  ?" 

"  O,  none  of  any  account,"  replied 
Edward,  anticipating  some  unpleasant 
strictures  upon  his  favorite  practice  ; — 
"  after  working  all  day,  it  is  really  a 
comfort  to  smoke  one  genuine  Ha- 
vana :  it  does  not  amount  to  anything  ; 
I  only  smoke  six  in  the  course  of  the 
whole  week." 

"  Six  Havanas  a  week,"  repeated 
Francis,  putting  it  down  upon  paper, 
with  as  much   formahty  as  if  he  was 


THE     YOUNG    MAN.  211 

registering  the  data  of  a  problem  ; 
"  six  a  week,  at  two  cents  a  piece,  a- 
mount  to  the  very  trifling  sum  of  six 
dollars  and  twenty-four  cents  per  an- 
num. I  suppose  you  spend  a  trifle  at 
the    fruit    shops,"    continued    Francis. 

"  Nothing  worth  mentioning,"  re- 
plied Edward,  rather  startled  at  the 
aggregate  of  such  little  items  ;  "  all 
that  I  buy  —  apples,  nuts,  raisins,  figs, 
oranges,  &c.  do  not  amount  to  nine- 
pence  a  week  :  why,  that  is  not  half  as 
much  as  Tom  Williams,  the  goldsmith's 
apprentice,  spends  for  juleps  in  half  that 
time  ;  and  besides,  Francis,  you  know 
I  never  taste  a  drop  of  any  kind  of  liquor 
— not  even  wine.  You  certainly  can't 
think  I  lack  economy.  Frank  ?" 

"  Ninepence  a  week  for  nuts,  raisins, 
oranges,  and  figs,"  repeated  Francis, 
in  a  low  serious  tone,  pronouncing  the 
items,  one  by  one  as  he  wrote  them 
down,  with  all  the  precision  and  grav- 
ity of  a  clerk  in  a  country  store  : — 
"  Ninepence  a  week  amount  to  six  dol- 


212  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

lars  and  fifty  cents  per  annum  ;  which, 
added  to  six  dollars  and  twenty-four 
cents  spent  for  cigars,  make  the  trifling 
sum  of  twelve  dollars  and  seventy-four 
cents  for  one  year.  Now,  Edward, 
see  what  I  have  obtained  for  just  this 
sum.  Here,"  said  he,  taking  down  sev- 
eral neatly  bound  volumes  of  the  North 
American  Review,  and  a  handful  of 
those  of  the  Knickerbocker — "  I  have 
bought  all  these,  for  a  less  sum  than 
you  have  paid  for  cigars,  nuts,  &c.  du- 
ring the  last  year.  And  as  for  these 
other  books,  which  you  see  here  in  my 
case,  I  will  tell  you  how  I  have  ob- 
tained them,  and  how  any  other  ap- 
prentice can  do  the  same,  with  only 
thirty-six  dollars  a  year  too.  You 
know  our  masters  are  very  industri- 
ous and  steady  men  ;  and  are  atten- 
tive to  their  business,  and  like  to  see 
their  workmen  so.  They  prefer  also, 
to  see  them  with  a  book  in  their  hands, 
w^hen  they  have  done  their  work, 
rather  than  to  be  lounging  about  at 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  213 

the  taverns  or  in  vicious  company. 
So  when  my  master  saw  that  I  liked 
to  read  every  chance  I  could  get,  and 
spend  all  the  money  I  could  spare  for 
books,  he  offered  to  give  me  ninepence 
an  hour  for  all  the  time  that  I  would 
work  from  twelve  o'clock  till  one.  p.m. 
And  that  is  the  way,  Edward,  that  I 
have  bought  all  these  books,  which 
you  thought  I  had  borrowed,  begged, 
or  stolen.  I  work  every  noon-time  a 
half  an  hour,  and  earn  enough  every 
fortnight  to  buy  one  of  these  books- 
Milton's  Paradise  Lost,  for  instance. 
To  be  sure,  they  are  not  bound  in 
calf,  nor  are  they  gilt-edged  ;  but  they 
contain  the  same  matter  as  if  they 
were,  and  that  is  enough  for  me." 

When  Edward  Saunders  had  listen- 
ed to  this  very  interesting  and  simple 
explanation  of  his  uncle's  apprentice, 
and  had  passed  his  eye  over  all  the  fine 
books  in  his  little  library,  he  arose  sud- 
denly at  the  very  last  words  of  Fran- 
cis,   and,    opening   his   little  chamber 


214  THE    tOtJNG    MAN. 

window,  took  out  of  his  hat  the  half- 
dozen  cigars  which  were  to  constitute 
his  week's  stock  of  comfort,  and,  with- 
out saying  a  word,  tossed  them  into 
the  garden.  A  new  fire  of  animation 
lit  up  his  eye,  as  he  darted  out  of  the 
room,  turning  only  at  the  door  to  say, 
"  ril  try  it,  Frank:' 

Edward  Saunders,  Esq.  and  the 
Hon.  Francis  Wilson,  never  forgot  in 
their  intimate  intercourse  in  after  life, 
their  mutual  computation  of  the  cost  of 
nuts  and  cigars,  in  the  garret  of  the 
latter. 


ENGLISH  GRAMMAR. 

The  following  remarks  on  the  study  of 
English  Grammar  are  from  Cobbett's 
Advice  to  Young  Men  ;  a  book  which 
presents  much  truth,  though  in  an  ori- 
ginal and  homely  garb,  and   which  is 


THE   YOtJNG    MAN.  215 

well  worthy  the  perusal  of  the  class  for 
whom  it  was  designed. 

Without  understanding  the  Gram- 
mar of  yoi^  own  language,  you  can 
nev^er  hope  to  become  fit  for  any  thing 
beyond  trade  or  agriculture.  Without 
this,  it  is  impossible  for  you  to  write 
correctly,  and  it  is  by  mere  accident,  if 
you  speak  correctly  ;  and  bear  in  mind 
that  all  well  informed  persons  judge  of 
a  man's  mind  (until  they  have  other 
means  of  judging)  by  his  writing  or 
speaking.  The  labor  necessary  to  ac- 
quire this  knowledge  indeed  is  not  tri- 
fling ;  grammar  is  not,  like  arithmetic. 
a  science  consisting  of  several  distmct 
departments,  some  of  which  may  be 
dispensed  with  :  it  is  a  whole,  and  the 
whole  must  be  learned  or  no  part  is 
learned.  The  subject  is  abstruse  ;  it 
demands  much  reflection  and  much  pa- 
tience ;  but,  when  once  the  task  is  per- 
formed, it  is  performed  for  life,  and, 
in  every  day  of  that  life,  it  will  be  found 
to  be  a  source  of  pleasure  or  of  profit,  or 


216  THE    YOUNG    MAN. 

of  both  together.  And  what  is  the  la- 
bor ?  It  consists  of  no  bodily  exertion  ; 
it  exposes  the  student  to  no  cold,  no 
hunger,  no  suffering  of  any  sort.  The 
study  need  subtract  from  The  hours  of 
no  business,  nor  indeed  from  the  hours 
of  necessary  exercise  :  the  hours  usual- 
ly spent  in  the  tea  and  coffee  shops,  and 
in  the  mere  gossip  which  accompany 
them,  the  wasted  hours  of  only  one  year^ 
employed  in  the  study  of  grammar, 
would  make  you  a  correct  speaker  and 
writer  for  the  rest  of  your  life.  You 
want  no  school,  no  room  to  study  in,  no 
expenses,  and  no  troublesome  circum- 
stances of  any  sort.  I  learned  gram- 
mar when  I  was  a  private  soldier,  on 
pay  of  sixpence  a  day.  The  edge  of 
my  berth,  or  that  of  the  guard-bed,  was 
my  seat  to  study  in  ;  my  knapsack  was 
my  book-case  ;  a  bit  of  board  lying  on 
my  lap  was  my  writing-table,  and  the 
task  did  not  demand  any  thing  like  a 
year  of  my  life.  I  had  no  money  to 
purchase  candle  or  oil  :  in  winter  time, 


THE    YOUNG    MAN.  217 

it  was  rarely  that  I  could  get  any  even- 
ing light,  but  that  oHhe  Jire.  and  only 
my  turn  even  of  that.  And  if  I,  under 
such  circumstances,  without  parent  or 
friend  to  encourage  me,  accomplished 
this  undertaking,  what  excuse  can 
there  be  for  any  youth,  however  poor, 
however  pressed  with  business,  or  how- 
ever circumstanced  as  to  room  or  other 
conveniences.  To  buy  a  pen,  or  a 
sheet  of  paper,  I  was  compelled  to 
forego  some  portion  of  food,  though  in 
a  state  of  half  starvation.  I  had  no 
moment  of  time  that  I  could  call  my 
own  ;  and  I  had  to  read,  and  to  write, 
amidst  the  talking,  laughing,  singing, 
whistling,  and  brawling,  of  at  least 
half  a  score  of  the  most  thoughtless  of 
men,  and  that  too  in  their  hours  of  t>ee- 
dom  from  all  control.  Think  not  light- 
ly of  the  farthing  that  I  had  to  give, 
now  and  ^'^-"^•~   '^ 


218 


THE    YOUNG    MAN. 


health  and  great  exercise.  The  whole 
of  the  money,  not  expended  for  us  at 
market,  was  two-pence  a  week  for  each 
man. 


INFLUENCE  OF  RELIGION. 

Of  all  the  means  of  forming  a    good 
character,  the  most  efficient  is   a  deep 
and  practical  sense  of  responsibility  to 
God.     He  who  has  an  abiding  impres- 
sion on  his   mind   of  the    ever-present 
and  immutable   God,  and  who  contem- 
plates with  due  affection  and  reverence 
his  relations  to    Him  and  eternity,  has 
acting  on  his  character  an  influence  of 
constant  and  mighty  energy, — preser- 
ving him  from  all  that  is  low  and    de- 
+ '  1   j-i      ;  "V   "^^'■^   T  Mrvvtn  all  that 
task  did  not  demand  any  thing"  jikc  « 
year  of  my   life.     I  had  no  money  to 
purchase  candle  or  oil  :  in  winter  time. 


ec 

earth, 
youth 


liCXo 


sion  on  his   mind   of  the    v 
and  immutable  God,  and  who  c, 
plates  with  due  affection  and  reverence 
his  relations  to   Him  and  eternity,  has 
acting  on  his  character  an  influence  of 
constant  and  mighty  energy, — preser- 
ving him  from  all  that  is  low  and    de- 
/• .   ^  .       -~  '-V  *^^--  ^^  Hirrifo  all  that 
task  did  not  demand  any  thing^riKc  «>, 
year  of  my   life.     I  had  no  money  to 
purchase  candle  or  oil  :  in  winter  time. 


B     000  002  414     1 


